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A mind is a world

One night, a friend of mine and I were riding around aimlessly wondering what we could do that wasn't the same old thing.



One night, a friend of mine and I were riding around aimlessly wondering what we could do that wasn't the same old thing. When we were beginning to lose all hope of doing anything but smoking ourselves into oblivion, my friend, Sin, got a call on his cell phone. It was Stoney, and he said that he ate one mushroom (pretty big) and was ta-rippin' his balls off. Sin and I were just like, holy shit, what a perfect opportunity to stray from the same old smoke and sit around routine. We picked up Stoney and the product, and we went to these two dudes' house where I had never been.

We sat around for a minute and smoked out, and then the two guys that lived at the house ran me up to the gas station to get some juice to enjoy with my mushrooms and to pick up some 40s from the L store. When we got back to the house, Sin had already eaten half of what he had bought and set the rest aside for me. We didn't have accurate scales so it's hard to say exactly how much I ate. It was 4 or 5 stems, one cap, and probably 3/4-1 gram of powder. Judging from the reading we got with scales and our poor math skills after checking them out with a nickel (postal scales), I would say I ate 2.5-3 grams total. Not a whole lot, but I weigh 105 lbs., and hadn't really eaten that day and this is how it came out to be:

We sat at the house for a little while longer and I watched Sin play video games until he could no longer handle it because the drugs had begun to take hold of him. When I ate the shrooms, I ate the powder first, then the stems, and then I ate the cap. I was cheesing from the second I finished eating them until I passed out for the most part. There were a few train wrecks along the way on my trip. We cut out from the house and I was starting to feel my jaw start doing that thing... where it kind of vibrates... and that funny feeling begain to come over me. We went to E's house and sat around there. I remembered Trippie's first trip in that room and thought about how she said she felt and compared it to myself. We were listening to techno and watching COPS, and I swear to god, that show was never funnier. Fuckin pigs. I was laughing so hard, especially when they busted this fat ass crack dealer. It was almost sad. After a little bit of that, Sin and Stoney wanted to go outside to smoke a cig, and although I don't smoke, I really wanted to go be with nature and plants, so I went with them. E's g-ma has a pimpass garden in her front yard with this bench against the brick wall on the porch facing it. At first, I sat down on a different bench that was in the garden. It was raining a little, almost like misting. It was cold outside, but I never cared. When I was out that night, I just felt right. Like that was where I was supposed to be and that everything I saw; the sky, the clouds, the flowers and leaves were good. When I was outside, it was the first time that my visuals started to kick in. It happened when I turned around and started talking to Stoney and Sin. They were sitting on the bench in front of the brick wall and the wall was really fucking with me. It was weeeird. Then, coz we were alll tripping, we couldn't sit really still. I had already been running around in the driveway a little bit, and I now moved to the bench in between Stoney and Sin. I guess that their trippy vibes got to me coz I looked at this leafy vine that grew down the side of the house on one of those white things and they all started swirling. Then the swirling took over the entire garden and I was just like wow. They're totally lucid. I was referring to the visuals, of course. It was so amazing and vivid. Almost overwhelming, but I loved it. Then Sin distracted me and we started talking. He had just gotten off the phone with AP. Sin was presenting the idea of spontaneous combustion to me, and although I had thought about it many many times before, I started to get a little freaked out. This needs some explaining.

It is a popular belief within my montage of friends that Sin is in deed evil. Hence the code of Sin for his character. He has evil eyes, and when he was talking to me, they were burning in through mine. I have often pictured Sin as a demon, if not the devil, while sober and under the influence of several other drugs. Drugs that were introduced to me by sin. Drugs that I have renounced and stepped away from. Baked, not fried. Anyway, with the rapid thoughts that I was experiencing, I developed a little conspiracy theory in my head. Sin was the devil, or at least some sort of demon, and he was going to burst into flames and he was talking about it with me now because he wanted me to not think that he was evil and know that he really went back to hell. In this instance of paranoia, Sam looked at me. He knew he had done something to my head. He gave me this sinsiter look that could only make it worse. Then he looked down at his cigarette and said, "AP told me to fuck with you." I told him not to and he said that AP told him to do it in that 'wierd Sin trippy way.' Sin looked me in the eyes and said, "I think I fuck with everyone's head." The look in his eyes.. I felt like he was looking inside my head, reading my thoughts, knowing exactly how freaked out I was. Then Stoney and Sin started talking about the train wreck once I started to feel a little bit of darkness creep around me. This is only due to my extreme paranoia from fairly recent events in my life. They told me to just wait. Soon, nothing would make any sense. I didn't want things to stop making sense. I was too wigged. Then I calmed pretty quickly and rationalized. I had heard it all before. Besides, nothing really did make sense, but not in the way that I would have thought that they meant.

We went back inside and the techno was on and my once twin had shown up. She actually arrived before we went outside, but that's beside the point. She was sitting on the bed next to me, kind of in front of me, actually. She was hunched over and when she extended her arm, I was astonished at the way my eyes had interpreted the movement. She was almost like a serpant, but with limbs like a person that moved like a snake. Sin was worried that I was trippin coz I hadn't said a lot about it, I guess. He told me to look up at the ceiling so I laid back on E's bed and watched the faces grow out from the plaster ALL OVER and ACROSS the ceiling. It was nuts.

E put the TV on the weather channel, and as we watched the cold fronts move across the nation, I wasn't sure if the patterns inside the colors were really there or not. I still don't really know. I moved over to get close to the computer after I noticed that the picture of someone giving a light show had started to move. I saw the tracers from the lights move around like monkey tails or rattle snakes. I was starting to get shitty because all E and Sin were listening to was evil ass techno. I just wanted to hear some guitar. Some mellow ass guitar. They were playing with 'rave lights' like I should be impressed, but it did absolutely nothing for me. I just missed the plants.

Alright, so it was time to leave there. We were leaving the evil which was the techno, the E, and the Sin. Also, we had to leave Stoney behind. My once twin and I headed up to my big sister's house for a party. When I got there, I was surrounded by a ton of drunks that hugged and kissed me. I could definitely feel the love and smell the alcohol. I started to drink coz I didn't give a fuck. My stomach never started to bother me. When I had just started my first beer, I was talking to Randal Pink in my sister's room and I was just going on and on about the crazy shit I was thinking. Then I looked at a Dead shirt that was on the wall and all the bears were lined up in rows like soldiers and the ones on the ends were walking out of the frame of the picture. I stared at it and the expression on their faces jumped out at me and I realized that they felt exactly the same way as I did. They were smiling, but yet so confused. I had no trouble communicating with anyone until I was too drunk to really function right. Then I went to crash on the futon.

The best part of my trip was really tied into the paranoia of pschizophrenia. It was really close to Halloweed, so there was this pumpkin on the end of E's porch. It hadn't been carved, but at the bottom it was two pumpkins, and at the top it was one. I thought 'Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum,' and how badly it would suck to have your face grown into someone else's. The enlightenment that I recieved from my experience is that my mind is a place. It's just chilling here inside my body until I transcend to another place. The shit here is so insignificant, so why do we worry about the stupid shit? The feeling that everything is fake and the way it loses practicality.. it opens your eyes.

Afterwards, I felt really good. I felt relieved from a lot of things that I carried upon my back. A sort of cleansing. I felt good about what I knew. I still feel great about that night. The way mushrooms made me fall back into myself was the most refreshing awakening I could have possibly imagined.
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