Wake Up (3g Cube Trip)

Hi everyone who is reading this,  about a week ago I tripped for my first time on some of my home-grown Ecuador Cubensis mushrooms. The whole growing process was quite interesting and beautiful (would recommend), it gives you a greater connection to the fungi. Anyways I have only smoked cannabis about 7 times or so in my life, psychedelics are a brave new world to me. 

THE TRIP: At about 8 in the morning I called my close friend who would watch over me on my first trip (BTW If its your 1st time tripping, I would HIGHLY recommend a sitter).  10:30 was when things started kicking off though, I ate the 3.5 grams of shrooms on an empty stomach with a glass of OJ and contrary to what people say shrooms are not really that awful taste wise, its just best to chew them quick with a mouthful of juice.  Nothing happened except  preperation for the first 20 minutes. By the 30 minute mark I started to feel great and got really strong giggles, like a good weed high. After about 2 minutes of weed like high I felt a very strange and divine tingling sensation in my body , I knew something was happening so I quickly laid down on the floor( uncomfortably) and told my friend while giggling that I was about to be shot in a rocket ship into outer space. Visuals were the first thing to come as well as body high but neither were very intense just "new", everything around me looked alive, as if it were slowly moving around me like hyperspace.  For about 20 minutes I studied my living room in all its new vibrancy while my friend tried to ask me questions for the shroom spirits, but I was not at that level yet. Whilst walking around my house I noticed quite profoundly that every single room has a different aura/feeling, and at some point I walked upstairs into my room to be slightly horrified by the mirror that sits at the end of hallway, I ran back down stairs yelling for my friend while laughing that my reflection scared me. During the first part of my trip where I kept my jeans on, I felt like I was constantly pissing myself even though I wasn't, this kinda worried me because I was starting to lose control, something that has never lost my grasp in my life until then. By about an hour and a half the trip became very intense both physically and mentally. I went outside to a natural bit of turf outside my house with grass and trees but it overlooked the street and a few of my neighbors were outside. At one point I realized how I was stumbling around in a psychedelic haze while a neighbor was watching me about 20 feet away. I looked at him and said "Oh shit." Because I realized my "cover" had been blown and now I looked like a inebriated mess with no shirt, I gave no fuck but I stumbled inside by my friends guidance. This was the point just before I slipped into some form of hell, I was lying on the couch while my friend played skyrim on his laptop. He would show me things but the screen was just a flurry of hallucinations much like everything around me. Honestly I did not expect hallucinations to be that powerful, I thought it was just something talked about on the internet. Nothing was blank at this point on shrooms, I could see every beam of energy coming from my friend, the walls breathed and gleamed but a painting on my wall of God Dionysus stood out to me. Its face would swap with my friend, the perimiters of its frame changed and defied reality. At this point I began to feel extremely physically uncomfortable, for one it was hot and I could not speak to my friend to turn the AC on because human language defied me, second I needed to pee but I could not go to the bathroom because I did not feel comfortable with mirrors and each one was ridden with the things. I had stripped all my clothes off except underwear and crashed out on the hard living room floor. The only two things I could get through to my friend were to bring me either water or grapes, I made a huge mess with whatever I was given because I was so physically intoxicated but the taste of grapes nearly made me cry with joy because of there refreshment, it seemed as though taste was the only thing that grounded me to the Earth. I was now stuck, everytime I moved it felt like I was stretched and thrown into a million different dimensions, I started feeling bad for those around me and I was terrified of the thought of damaging anyone or anything. My pet parrot who helped me through the trip greatly walked around on the ground near me during my trip and I could not even think of the emotional damage if I stepped on him or rolled over on him. I started to feel sad for my mom too because of how amazing she was during my growing up years and how twisted she is now. This kind of faded away though, because of my loss in reality, at some point I stopped seeing my friend as the person he was instead I saw/heard only his body/ voice. I did not see people as highly now, my life felt like a dream, a dream I am forever stuck in, time is not real, every foundation of existence was being showed to me like some sort of fucked up joke, like these foundations that could never be broken( ie time, reality, etc) were really just cardboard posters that appear as  solid entities. (That is just the way im trying to put it into words sorry if it doesn't make sense) Explaining the "meat" of my trip is near impossible in human language but one commonly used word is "Mindfuck" and that was the very definition. At some point I had shambled up to my bed which saved my life because it saved me from the stress and extreme physical discomfort. I started to slowly drift out of the climax of the trip like a leaf floating down from a tree, the horrors of the climax were over, but things were "different" still. I lied down in bed with my friend sitting down next to me. I talked to him simply to keep part of me in reality. I walked downstairs and loved my parrot up who I could feel drained a load of his energy trying to keep me from going completely insane. Drank some water, ate grapes, etc... etc... but life was not back normal now. My body felt like it could run a marathon but the world around be looked EXTREMELY dull. It felt exactly like a episode of the simpsons or some cartoon. Life appeared drained in everything. The world looked fake, like a toy put here to keep us from diving into insanity. When I ran up the stairs it felt like the speed of light but looking out the window made me extremely depressed. So lifeless. I tried to go on facebook and reunite with myself in a way but it felt like a joke. This part of the trip hurt me and I don't know what to do. I see the world like I used to now and everything is back to normal but this part of the trip lingers with me.  Whenever I see something nice or feel something great that part of the trip is their to tell me its a lie. A facade. 

Love you all,a  lost shroomer.