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Cars are hilarious
Seriously...cars are funny as hell
Recently I decided to grow some shrooms. I honestly don't know why. I have had them twice in my life and both trips were pretty stressful and scary so I have no idea why I thought it would different now. I'm so glad I gave them another try...I just came down and I'm thinking about going again at sunrise (and skipping out of work).
To give you some background, I am a fairly anal person with known mental problems. I have been diagnosed with OCD, depression and anxiety issues. I take 60 mg of Fluoxetine (Prozac) daily. If anyone was going to have a bad trip, it's me. Because of my previous bad experiences, I was convinced this was going to go bad but went through with it anyway.
Before I get started on my report, I will say that the shrooms I ate are of a variety that was called "Illusion Weavers". I have no clue if this really means anything more than some dude giving his P. Cubensis spores a cool name but there you have it...it's what I ate. Either they are fairly weak or I have a higher tolerance because it took a good amount to really make me feel them.
I started with baby steps...REALLY baby steps. About a week ago I ate 1 gram. I felt absolutely nothing. I was bummed. This weekend, my wife and kids are out of town and my shrooms went nuts so I figured no time like the present...
Yesterday, I ate the following:
1.0 grams at 5:08 pm
1.2 grams at 6:08 pm
0.5 grams at 7:06 pm
0.8 grams at 7:53 pm
1.1 grams at 8:28 pm
Yep, I'm anal. I kept measuring everything out each time and I was really scared of a bad trip so kept it really minimum. I also kept waiting about an hour for the most part. In the end, I just felt kind of stoned and the show "King of the Hill" was the funniest thing on the planet. That Joseph kid has a potato head.
Today, I decided I was going for broke. I really wanted to feel something. I wanted to know where the "threshold" was for me. I was still scared at first though as you'll see. I had picked all of these and measured them wet and set them aside in 3.5 gram piles. After drying in front of a fan (NOT the oven) they weigh considerably less. I will enter here what I had written and note if it was a 3.5 gram "wet" pile. Here is what I ate:
2.4 grams at 5:35 pm
1.1 grams at 6:03 pm
2.5 grams at 6:19 pm
1.2 grams at 7:00 pm
1.8 grams at 7:24 pm (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
1.8 grams at 7:53 pm (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
1.6 grams at 8:15 pm (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
1.4 grams at 8:49 pm (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
1.4 grams at 9:58 pm (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
1.0 grams at 11:05 pm (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
More at 12:09 am (was a 3.5 g wet pile)
Wow. I really could have kept on going all night. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. I did not see God but I definitely felt what God means. We attempt to give God a human form and that's not what it is at all. It's everywhere.
Following will be my (somewhat nutty) notes. I was alone the entire time. This had me worried because I wasn't sure if I would "freak out" and need another human being. However, for me at least, this was the best possible situation. I didn't have anyone to please. I didn't have to try to be normal. I could dance around my house, sit on my back porch, etc. and not have to explain anything to anyone. I listened to music the entire time. If you're interested, I listened to Of the Wand & the Moon, Hexvessel, Butthole Surfers, and Pink Floyd. Also, I am an occultist and consider myself a druid. I just thought I would let it all be known for this...
Here are my notes. I'll put them down as-is which, looking back, they're pretty hilarious. Feel free to make fun of me.
9:30 pm - God I love this. Patterns are in everything. You just need to see. It's BEAUTIFUL!
9:49 pm - I feel great! Stuff is still a bit weird but I'm coming down now unfortunately...
10:31 pm - Atom Heart Mother. Cars are still really weirdly hilarious.
10:34 pm - I have never noticed how amazing our kitchen floor is.
10:36 pm - I am a fungus. Imagination is everything. It's how you get to the astral plane.
11:05 pm - Spore prints came out great!
11:11 pm - I've made life. Cats are crawling out of everything.
11:46 pm - Tunes are low on juice. Cooking eggs! (now 2 egg drawings here)
I was also texting a couple of friends and my wife the entire time so will need to go back and look at those. I tried to stay off of Facebook but I do remember seeing a pic with a guy surrounded in Monopoly, Sorry, and other board games. I need to go back and see if that was real or imagined because it was amazing.
I live on a very busy street and traffic is non-stop for the most part. Many times I stood in my window and watched traffic and laughed my ass off. The cars were either old-timey or super sleek, aerodynamic, and shiny. Then a fat guy on a motorcycle would go by or a dude in a wheelchair and I would seriously spit laughing so hard. I don't know why it was so funny but it was.
In my yard, the fireflies put on the most amazing twilight show ever. All to the tune of Hexvessel. It was a religious experience. At times, they were signalling to me. I was asking them what they wanted to tell me and they just wanted me to watch. They wanted to be heard and seen. They wanted to please me and be at one with me. It was amazing.
Until next time...
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