May 10, 2014
I take about a tablespoon of Kratom powder, and put it in a cup of fruit punch. Bitter, but far easier to take down than Peyote. The smell is like hay.
I take my night time dose of CBD oil(5/1 CBD/THC ratio) Doesn%u2019t really get you stoned, but I love this stuff. Go to cbdproject if you want to know more about it. I don%u2019t want to flood this post with with why I take it.
Oh yeah, and a few hours ago, I ate two CBD chocolates. Similar effect as the oil. I now feel alert, yet simultaneously detached. Astute and careless. Debating whether or not to take my Zyprexa and Prozac. If I do, I%u2019ll probably fall asleep when it kicks in. If I don%u2019t, I%u2019ll probably be up for the entirety of this Kratom experience. I%u2019ve only taken Kratom one other time, because I heard it enhanced music, so I took an amount I don%u2019t recall, in addition to a six pack to the studio, and was able to put emotion with dynamics in my voice whereas every other recording session my voice was VERY VERY monotone. That session was three songs, and with each song, my voice grows more boring than the previous.
I took an extremely high dose of pot one week ago, in addition to pure MDMA crystals, and I am convinced that it was life altering. I%u2019m feeling an onset of euphoria right now. Slightly paranoid, so I just popped my Zyprexa/Prozac. Nearly 1:30, so I wouldn%u2019t be surprised if I am still up when the sun rises.
It%u2019s like anything that alters my mind triggers flashbacks from last weekend. Not visual flashbacks, but intense, poignant memory. I can%u2019t stop writing. Eyes are becoming itchy. I haven%u2019t felt this good in a while. Months.
Feeling the same carelessness I experienced on MDMA. Not a jittered rush, but a metaphorical blanket of peace.
Nothing but love :) Soaring. Placid island of bliss. Pure%u2026 thoughts scattered. No sense of time, but where did the time go? 45 minute mark already? I want to work some more on one of my drawings. I try, but the drawing doesn%u2019t feel I need to. I don%u2019t know the exact dose I consumed, but I bought an ounce, probably took 4 grams. I don%u2019t have a scale, but the bag feels like a one ounce fishing weight. I figured by the looks of my dose, there were seven times that left in the bag.
Feeling similar to Ativan(a benzodiazepine) I used to take it as needed for anxiety, but I didn%u2019t feel I needed it anymore seeing as 15 pills sometimes lasted me a few months.
Time to put on distant music. Time to chill, and seriously relax. I imagine sitting in a tall leather chair with a glass of scotch, and a cigar in 1920. Going back and forth between mild nervousness, and borderline hypnagogia. I could easily induce an OBE right now, but afraid I%u2019ll fall asleep and not remember it, so why try? I just don%u2019t feel like it at the moment.
I want to take more right now, but I don%u2019t want to develop an addiction, so I%u2019ll wait a day or two. I used to drink socially, never alone, never problematic, but it eventually became problematic so I quit. I feel drunk right now.
I would not feel safe behind the wheel right now. One minute I am thinking I%u2019m coming down, the next minute I%u2019m coming up. Very sedated right now.
Difficult sticking to one song for more than a minute. I feel like there is a connection to be found, and that only the right song can make it. I don%u2019t know what it is, so it%u2019s kinda like trying to find the guess a puzzle in a video game. Very sedated, yet also awake. Hard to think. I feel like my mind isn%u2019t here.
My main reason for writing this little report or what have you, is because I like to look up information on a substance before trying it, so I%u2019m returning the favor. Computers are great, because you can have multiple tabs open, one for writing, and one for music in my case. I feel like I just drank a 6 pack. Well, I don%u2019t know, I feel like I drank more than that, yet I feel like I drank less. I%u2019m not so one way about things, but I%u2019m also careless. Susceptible to cause and effect. Negative 6 implies 6.
I am kinda bummed that it seems it%u2019s wearing off..
Then again I am starting to experience mild closed eye visuals. My pupils are small, and vision is getting blurry. I have the option of staying up, or going to sleep. I am not uncontrollably tired.
Heavy sedation. Questioning my previous entry. Hungry.
Just experienced early stages of an OBE, but snapped myself out of it. I%u2019ve been having intense dreams since the Molly last weekend, often waking up with the feeling I teleported to actual people and places in my sleep. I can only imagine the dreams I%u2019ll have when I go to sleep this morning.
Very, VERY sedated.
Too tired to stay up.
Must eat, must sleep. Looking forward to dreaming.
I woke up today around 1pm, but would have slept longer had it not been for Mother%u2019s day. I was still feeling the effects of Kratom. 5 minutes after waking up, I am rushed to the car and meet family for lunch. Despite a crowded situation, I was less anxious than usual, so I believe that Kratom has anti-anxiety properties. I feel pleasant.