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A One Time Trip on a Secret Substance.
To this day i don't know what it was i took but i know it wasn't Ayahuasca. Nothing I've ever taken has given a similar experience.
This was a little more then 10 years ago. i was visiting an old friend in central asia (I won't say where). ill just call him Jay.
Jay was involved in a local tribe, the name of which unfortunately escapes me. He had apparently learned through carful observation how to prepare a sacred drink that when described to me sounded similar to Ayahuasca, but it was made with different ingredients.
He took dried up flower peddles of some kind. They appeared white. Jay then added a pre-ground mixture of some kind. chips of some kind of bark or something and a fine brown powder. gently stirred it into the pot and let it simmer for 5 hours. i asked him several times what the mixture was that he added but he said it was a closely guarded secret that he could not reveal. This made me very nervous because i don't like not knowing what I'm taking. All he would tell me was that it would change the way i thought about my body and my mind.
At sunset Jay strained the liquid into a bowl and told me to take a big gulp only. so i did.
[t 0:00] Tastes like shit and has an almost obnoxiously acidic smell too it (If that makes cents) it leaves a bitter aftertaste.
[t 0:10] Jay packs a long pipe full of sweet smelling tobacco and puffs on it then passes it to me. the Tobacco effects felt intensified somehow. not even a cigarette ever relaxed me so much. or was it the mysterious drink.
[t 0:20] Nausea sets in slow so i stop smoking the pipe and lay down in the hammock outside. It overlooked a deep valley at a river with a village (I expected visuals but had none at this point still).
[t 0:40] the Nausea was so bad that i was moaning and groaning but my body felt so heavy that i was plastered to the hammock. literally the next few seconds the pain in my stomach became very sharp and then vanished. i suddenly felt a cold emptiness, like i had a hole in my stomach but when i went to look down my vision started becoming fuzzy and everything became bright. I'm not kidding it only took a few moments it surprised me so much that i called for Jay who was actually just right next to me. He told me to close my eyes and breath so i did.
[t 1:10] This was the last time i knew the time during the experience. Jay was talking to me about funny stories and happy times. I was more or less zoning out listening to the enormous echo of his voice and well everything for that matter. Sound had an echo that i could feel and see but not in a visual sense but almost as though my Imagination or my minds eye is opened up to the point where i have two plains of sight. its so hard to describe but i saw and felt his voice. it felt like hours and its hard to remember what i saw because i was so focused on what was going on in my mind. but finely the barrier between my imagination and the real world broke and i no longer saw anything from this world. I felt my body Physically Splitting in different sections, not in a painful way but a weird very vivid way. i was being pulled apart and stuck back together in different forms like clay. There where very little visuals. and the sound was more like a cluster-fuck of my own thoughts in different accents but still with my voice. some of which i was aware of as my own inner monolog and other as what i think of now as my subconscious monolog.
I also at some points felt hyper aware of all my organs. i could feel the shape of my heart as it beat in my chest and the curves of my ribs and the acid in my stomach. My lungs expanding and contracting. even the neurons in my brain seemed to tingle. I was having an Inner body experience. i was a little afraid at one point that if i didn't stop concentrating on my heart beat it might stop. i specifically remember that because it made me snap out of the inner world for a split second to see the sun half way under the horizon.
[t 1:34] All of my organs and atoms and emotions and memories and ideas pretty much all of me just came falling back into place and within a few moments i was down to a chill high feeling. almost feeling as though i ate a plate of pot brownies laced with 1200 micrograms of LSD, but to me at that time, that felt like 'Down'. I was too tired to think, i felt like i had just done a week of cardio work in an hour and a half. The sun was gone and now i had to try to get up. Jay helped me walk into his Shack and i sat down inside drinking some tea he brewed.
[t 2:00] felt completely sober as though i had taken nothing at all. though i was talking a lot about the experience and i felt a sudden fascination for the human physiology. I realized that there was a very thin unseen membrane somewhere in our minds that prevented us complete control of our bodies. i also felt grateful for this membrane. because that membrane is what makes us human, i had lost my humanity for a brief few moments and it was as if only after i accepted that i was no longer a human being did i snap back out of the inner world It was paradigm shattering.
To this day i don't know what the substance was and would love to one day find out. i think it could be some kind of DMT analogue but I'm not sure, the effects felt so different, yet so profound. (I have experimented with many psychedelics including DMT nothings come close to the same effects.)
