>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BaR7DR33M0 <<
we settled down in the tall grass of a secluded part of the lake,
sunset began to near. The world took on many new hues and it was like
everything had a reflective sheen of crystal.
Details were sharpened, its like a young child walking around, everything is so beautiful you cant help but look around.
was wind, tall trees, the wind blowing the water created a glorious
vision for our eyes that it felt like we were inhabiting a dream scape.
patted the ground, the dirt, i got on all fours and walked around and
thought about how this vision of the world, with this much detail, is
how life is supposed to be, yet we tune it out as we grow to "better
adapt for survival" too much information, just like societies ideals,
too much nature, must refine, contain, categorize, civilize it.
Seeing the world through these new eyes was a truly transcendental experience.
we left i became fascinated with my ability to pick up our jar of
lemonade and move it a foot away from its starting location, the weight,
the texture, my ability to move an object, it was beautiful, my ability
to manipulate objects was amazing.
my nose kept
running and as i'd wipe the snot away i felt like i kept rubbing chunks
of my face off, like my head was made of noodles and every swipe took
out more noodles.
a kayaker came down the lake and
with his smooth paddling motion, made his way across our view and it was
like crystal, the difference between seeing life on an overcast day and
seeing it on a bright HD television.
it got darker
and we packed up and traveled, we felt like we were in an amazon
jungle, i was barefoot and felt like i was a hobbit bouncing about with
the thick callouses of my feet. we stopped occasionally to stare at a
tree, and then another until i came to one and couldn't help but to hug
it and then rap it with my knuckles and to hear the sound it makes.
began to run down the trail a bit until we came to a big wide open spot
with a clear view of the lake, and we sat down and it became hard for
me to move or sit up, i wanted to move yet couldn't get the energy to do
so, and it was cold from the wind despite my layers so my friend and i
cuddled into a ball for warmth and that's when it started to happen, i
started to slightly fall asleep and curled into a ball for warmth and it
felt like i was in a mothers embrace, like i was still inside the womb,
i'd worm and squirm my way deeper into my friends arms like i was
trying to bury myself in the feelings of warmth and the weight of limbs,
the hands felt reassuring, the warmth comforting, but as soon as the
physical needs were met the psychological needs surfaced.
started to review life, i thought of little cave men shooting sticks
from primitive bows, hunting food, surviving in the world, but i felt
such contentment, such bliss that i almost felt like dying wouldn't even
matter, i felt now, that i was part of the ground, like i was a
mountain, a pile of dirt, a piece of land, and every time i would drift
deeper, i'd hum or call my friends name to make sure i wasn't alone for
sometimes i'd go so deeply into thought i wouldn't recognize the
pressure of my friends arm or the warmth of their body.
began to visualize the decay of my body and re-absorption into the
earth and thought that this was a beautiful thing not to be feared and
that all life seems to be is a collection of atoms, we consume food, and
drink water and then we give it back to nature in a different form
which feeds and nourishes life in big circles, and now humans are
collecting all these atoms in the form and shapes of material possessions, and money, and goods, and i remember my friend telling me
how they were upset that there was so much litter around this beautiful
place and i simply wondered, why do we have things that when thrown
away, are considered littering? why cant it just decay and join back
with the earth, give back the atoms.
eventually i made
my way out of this cave of thought and my friend and i packed up again
and began to run down the trail in the night, me barefoot, and we ran
for a bit until we came to the gate but we were not ready to walk
through it yet so we headed back to a bench and waited, i could not tell
if this is a metaphor or not.
i put my shoes on from
my pack and we walked and walked the trail seeing all the trees in the
dark, and at this point i couldn't tell if my friend was real or if they
were just a part of my mind i'd invented for comfort and security but
we made it back to the gate once again and this time my friend climbed
over which made me inclined to do the same and when i got to the top of
the gate i froze for a few minutes, i couldn't hop down, doing parkour i
should be able to do this easily but i felt the familiar mental fear
and couldn't jump, i took a few breaths, i counted down, and i jumped
down and landed, i fell over but i felt the familiar release of the
fear's hold on me as i made it through the mental barrier.
i reached the car just like i couldn't tell if my friend was real for a
time i couldn't find certain objects, my keys, my water bottle, and i
would reach around my backpack and try to "believe" i had just grabbed
them so as to make reality change and have the object in my hand and for
a brief moment it worked until reality started to kick back in and i'd
find that i had nothing in my hand and i'd have to "really" hunt for the
object to get it in my grasp.
my friend and i made it
back to my car and inside we ate chocolate bars and napped a bit with my
friend watching over me as i napped before they left me in the night to
sleep in peace.
it was a life changing night.