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First Shroom Trip: Leaving Reality and Confronting Fears
A Breakdown of Time and Space, as Well as Facing My Fear of Spiders
Hey everyone, this is the story of my first trip, and I need to talk about it because I just can't hold it in anymore, and this site is really the only place I feel TRULY comfortable talking about it. Mainly because most of the people I know, haven't done done a psychedelic drug before, just weed and alcohol for the most part, and pills here and there. For this reason, they do not understand how life-changing this trip was, and they laugh when I tell them about it. Now, I don't get offended by this, because I find it funny as well, but it was one of the most intense experiences of my life, by far, and I refuse to pass it along as just another "fun time". If you have never tripped before then this may sound like idiotic ramblings, because a trip is nearly impossible to put into words. It's just... unexplainable, almost.
So, now the trip. Very recently I had a rare opportunity to get my hands on Golden Cap Shrooms, which, in this town is rare. Me and one of my friends had never done shrooms before so we figured, it's now or never, get them or their gone. We picked up three eighths, one for me, one for my friend (he gave me some more of his because I bought them for him, so about 4-4.5 grams for me), and the last one for our more shroom-experienced friend. I made half of my eighth into shroom tea, so I can wash down those shrooms with more shrooms :D. We got our room set up with drinks and smokes, locked the door to prevent any interruptions, and cleared our minds to create good vibes. Next, we played a 7-hour trip visualizer on the 42" flatscreen, and played a 6-hour liquid dubstep playlist on the surround sound. About 30 minutes after I finished my tea and shrooms, I noticed that I began to feel a connection to just about everything in my vicinity. For instance, my clothes and mainly my sweatshirt felt as if it was actually part of my physical body, like my skin, but very natural and comfortable. I was becoming more and more sensitive to my environment every minute and I began seeing the walls and ceiling move and breathe when I focused my vision in a specific spot. I knew that my trip was gaining strength, and Im a very spiritual person, so I wanted to try closed-eye visualizations to try and achieve an epiphany or some sort of enlightenment. So I shut my eyes, and slowly, colors and shapes started coming up from the bottom of my eye-lids. They first started out as these oval shaped orbs that were changing colors, as if progressing through the colors of a rainbow, but they changed so fast that if it wasn't for my hyper-sensitive senses, I wouldn't have been able to interpret the colors at all. Then they morphed into an infinite web of DNA, continuing forever. This somewhat startled me, and caused my to open my eyes, which stopped it obviously.
Now remember, this is only about an hour after I took my shrooms, so my trip hadn't even begun to climax yet. Within another hour or so though, it did begin to increase drastically in intensity, and I tried more closed-eye visuals. Within seconds of closing my eyes, I felt as if I was moving VERY FAST, like going from 0-150mph on a straight road in a fast car, and it felt almost like I was electrically charged with emotion, with feelings and thoughts. I heard my friends voices talking to me, in my head, about shrooms, and it was a real conversation we had before we started tripping. Then, their voices stopped, and mine began, saying, "Money isn't important, material's aren't important. Life and family ARE important.". Suddenly the blackness ended and I was moving through a tunnel, filled with every color you can imagine, moving around me like a vortex, as if I was looking through the eye of a tornado filled with paint? I looked down at my hands, trying to figure out what's real and what's not. My hands and body were there, but I was naked, floating, and slightly rotating to the left through this "tunnel". I put my left hand out to touch and feel the colors, and when I did, it left behind a trail of the color black behind it, in a tapered shape. Sort of like the wake behind a boat. For this reason, I knew I was moving forward, but to where? This is when I noticed that liquid droplets of color were bouncing off my finger and floating with me in zero-gravity. I believe this is why the color black was trailing behind my finger, because my finger was preventing the colors from continuing on their original path. One of the droplets starting floating closer to my mouth, so I stuck my tongue out and tasted it. It was water. But... the purest of pure, unlike any water I've ever had. Now this is where it goes bad (sort of).
Suddenly, I'm awake, in my physical body, eyes open. I can hear the dogs barking downstairs and this is obviously what awoke me from my trip. I figured one of my roommates (Not any of the people tripping) had a friend stop over or something. I roll over and look out the window, and what do I see? A county Sheriff sitting outside my house. I started having a panic attack or something, because I thought he had a search warrant, so I ran into my bedroom and starting hiding all my paraphernalia and whatnot. I knew that what I was doing was crazy, so I forced myself to take a deep breath, calm down, and go lay back down on the bed I was on before. Turns out, the cop thought that someone with an arrest warrant may have been at the house, but it was just a case of mistaken identity, and he went on his way.
After I calmed completely, I focused my attention on the Trip Visualizer on the TV, and saw that the shapes and colors it was making looked alot like spiders. Now, understand, I have Arachnophobia, which is the fear of spiders. So this started to slightly scare me, and I was forced to look away from the TV. I glanced to the right, and noticed a giant spider, standing casually next to me on the bed. It was about 3 feet in diameter, dark brown in color, with 1-2 inch spikes protruding upwards from his legs, as well as longer ones on his body. The thing is, I couldn't actually see him with my physical eyes, but I could see him with my mind's eye, or my soul's eye, if you will. If I focused my physical eyes on him, he would vanish, but when I focused my mind and ignored my eyes, he would reappear. The spider told me, "Do not be afraid. I am Cedrin." yet he didn't tell me with words. He told me with emotion, if anyone can understand what I am saying? As in, somehow, it's as if he looked right into my soul and injected me with peace and comfort. I felt safe, so I reached my hand out to touch him, to gain an understanding of him, and spiders in general. But the thing is, I wasn't actually touching him with my hands, I could hardly move my body at all at this point, besides my head and my eyes, like sleep paralysis kinda. I was touching him with the same hands I had when I was in the tunnel of colors. The "nonexistent" hands. These hands reacted to my world the same way the spider did, If I focused my eyes, they would vanish, if I focused my mind, I could see them and control them. So with these "hands", I inspected him very closely, feeling the spikes on his legs and even his fangs at one point. Finally, I came to the conclusion that spiders aren't all that bad, and Cedrin the spider was here to prove that to me. Sure, some of them look creepy, some of them are poisonous, but in the end, were all just creatures roaming this Earth, trying our hardest to live a long and healthy life. There is no need to kill a spider just because it's near you or because you don't like them. If it's presenting a real threat, then yes, kill it, but otherwise, it's unnecessary.
It was about this time that I started to come down from my trip and "Cedrin" left, and I realized that I'd been tripping for about 5 hours, yet it felt like an eternity, but at the same time, it also felt like just a minute or two. Meaning I had no perception of time during my trip whatsoever. My friends didn't trip nearly as hard as I did for some reason, and I'm not sure why mine was so much more intense than theirs? Was it just because I had an extra Gram of shrooms? Or maybe because of the shroom tea? Or my spiritual openness? Maybe they just didn't let the shrooms take them where the shrooms wanted them to go, because I sure as hell did! And do trips this intense happen often? Anyway, if anyone has any answers to those questions or if someone can interpret my trip, that would really help me out. I just need to know more...
UPDATE: So I've done some serious thinking on the tunnel of colors, and I think I know what was happening. Now this is just my opinion on my trip, and not to sound ignorant, but now I think I'm the only one who can accurately make a full conclusion from it, being the one who experienced it. But anyway, I think the tunnel was life. This is because water, in nature, is a catalyst for life. Meaning, without water, there would be NO life on this planet. None of us would exist. And it is possible to disrupt the structure of your life. When I touched the tunnel wall, and the colored water escaped the structure of the tunnel, and floated away, the blackness left behind will be there forever. This is like making a mistake in life, you can try and cover it up, but the blackness will never leave. It is now a part of your history, and your life. And because I was moving forward, I was progressing through life, leaving the mistake of touching the wall in the past. I still haven't figured out if the colors have any significance, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say they may be emotions or feelings. Different colors at different points in the tunnel of life represent the highs and lows of life? Anyone have any thoughts about this that I may have overlooked?
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