I am an 18 year old male, I began drug use at the age of 14
starting with alcohol and tobacco, moving onto very infrequent cannabis use
around a similar time, I had an extremely ‘bad trip’ when I was 16 after taking
a huge amount of legal high thinking it would be very weak and do nothing. I
believe this experience permanently damaged my cannabinoid receptors as I can
no longer use cannabis without serve anxiety and hallucinations (full hallucinations
ie cats turning into people). One particular use of cannabis lead to a period
of ‘derealisation’ and left me lasting anxiety.
After I had got over this I begin to be interested in physcedelics,
I grew my own mushrooms and picked some wild ones in season. It wasn’t till I
was 17 I had my first experience with them, it was 1 gram of cubensis
mushrooms. This was an enjoyable experience and helped reassure me about my
mental health after my problems with cannabis.
My next was a dose of
just under 1 gram of liberty caps, this was also a nice experience with plenty
of visual morphing but the trip felt a bit negative due to paranoia about
police due to location. Since then I have tried MDMA which is without a doubt
my favourite drug, the happiness and openness it gives me I have never experienced
before in my life.
One particular weekend a large storm was due to hit, so I
felt this would be a good opportunity to take a dose of mushrooms and go on a
walk with a friend, the route was almost entirely in forest and deserted
country lanes so we have no problems with other people. I decided on a dose of
just under 2.5 grams of cubensis which I felt would be a nice step up from my
previous experiences (my friend had the same). My mood around the time of this
trip was generally quite low, I was depressed due to school and I was very
unhappy with how I felt about myself and had been for the last year.
12:00- My friend arrives at my house and leaves his car, We
weigh up the mushrooms and get ready to go, I then drive my car to where we
would start walking from.
12:55 – We begin the walk, consuming the items on the way,
there taste is bitter and makes me gag but my friend seems to enjoy them.
13:20 – The first effects start to come on, the colours are
brighter, and my mental headspace is definitely not sober.
13:50 – The effects are apparent now as we trek through this
dark and damp woodland, my vision slips into incredible clarity a few times,
everything is getting much more vivid and bright. We stop near a flowing stream
and admire the water as it flows. Our mood is positive and excitable.
14:00- We reach the top of a hill with a brilliant view of
the surrounding pine woods, we take this opportunity to lie on the ground, it
is raining quite heavily but neither of us mind. I put the Doors first album on
the portable speaker I have and we sit and watch the trees in the distance wave
in the wind and possibly in our minds. We then continue our walk.
14:50- the morphing effects become apparent, we pass several
parked cars, one of which seems huge, the other incredibly small, walking down
a high banked road becomes very interesting and my friend is changing size out
the corner of my eye. It was raining heavily previously so we watch the water
run off down the hill and try and keep level with individual bubbles in the
flow. The effects are reasonably strong but I still feel in some control. By
this time I put the Doors second album on, I feel the music has a big part in
how intense you feel the trip. When looking at my hands they appear to me very
large, like 6ft long. I have experienced this before and mushrooms and find it
15:00- We pass through a small village, the houses look
incredibly funny to us for whatever reason. We feel extremely tall as if we are
walking through a model village.
school, money, work seem ridiculous to us at the moment and we can’t really
remember what it is like to feel sober. The trip is going well so far and we
are amazed by the new mind set we have discovered. From this point on the walk
is mostly back up hill, we have already walked 5 miles but we feel no tiredness
at all, neither of us have any appetite either.
15:30- We reach a forest and sit down and eat a chocolate
bar, my friend enjoys it but my mouth is too dry to enjoy the taste very much.
By this point I have Aphex Twins 85-92 album on which was an excellent choice.
We observe a lone fern turning full circles from the lightest breeze, we stare
at it for a few minutes. The effects are starting to come down now quite a lot.
15:45- By total chance we bump into another friend of mines
parents walking their dog, I have music blaring out my back pack and my other
tripping friend not knowing who they were gives them a creepy grin as a joke.
After we pass I tell him who they were to both our great amusement. We come to
the conclusion that they must know we were on drugs of some kind, but this
doesn’t bother us at all.
16:00- We reach the road on the way back to the car, we are
both feeling much more sober now, but the feeling still comes back in waves of
16:15- As I walk up the road I see in a hedge several root
balls of some plants that have been dumped. On closer inspection these are from
an indoor cannabis grow and have been dumped. This is surprisingly not the
first time I have found cannabis grow remains on this stretch of road. The
weather is getting worse now and It begins to rain, but we are still not tired
and don’t mind.
16:30- We reach the car. I am approximately 80% sober now,
so we sit in the car for a while to warm up and eat some food. After about 20
minutes we drive to the local town and go into the supermarket.
17:00- We walking around the supermarket, to me it looks
ridiculous, everything stacked so neatly and ordered. My friend picks what food
he wants and we can’t stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. When we go to
pay we spend around 10 minutes trying to open one of the plastic bags provided which
lead to intense laughter at the time.
17:30- After driving back to my local village we sit in the
car for bit and discuss our day, we come to the conclusion that it had been a
worthwhile trip. We both agree that it would be wrong to describe mushrooms as
‘fun’ as we both felt the trip, while pleasant was inherently a very unstable
experience that could easily turn bad if you lacked the mental resilience.
After about 20 minutes we return to my house in my car, and my friend drives
back home. By this point we were both 100% sober.
18:00- Sober and feeling relaxed, listen to music and chat
with friends online, feeling positive about life.
In conclusion it was a very interesting and enjoyable
experience, definitely the strongest effects I have had from mushrooms. I feel
I should have done more though, maybe an extra gram to get me into a deeper
trip, however this might have reduced our ability to walk such a distance and
navigate effectively. Hiking is a brilliant activity to do while under the
influence of them, but I recommend only doing routes you are already familiar
with and not at night. Tripping for me is a shared activity and if I did it
alone I would almost certainly have a ‘bad trip’ so I recommend anyone who is
to try it, does it with one other close friend who you trust fully. I am unsure
if mushrooms have helped my depression and low self-esteem, but I don’t think
they have made much of an effect.
I will not be doing mushrooms again for a few
months at least, due to upcoming exams, and due to it being such a powerful experience,
doing it regularly could lead to problems