Backstory
The thought prevailed at an instant, and a sense of squandered time lapped itself against the antipodes of my mind. I'd failed the first time in preparing the "Wizard's brew" or what is more commonly known as Aya. There was a benign fear coursing itself through my veins and I couldn't conceive of another failure like the last.
Blood red- the brew was the blood of Christ or, more appropriately, the blood of Mother Aya, and she'd given herself over so that I may see the expanse of the universe; revive her and witness her advent back to the world as she'd performed as such in times past. When left out in the cold, a muddy bronze enveloped the frame, and a thick paste would form. More purified water had to be added to return it to its original consistency, which only proved to be more of a headache. See, if you haven't experienced the foul taste of this brew- and even preparing it can produce the sort of visions one would get from becoming too lightheaded- it is an experience best left to those with guts made of steel and a palate deadened by fire. Inexperienced spectators will find the taste so overwhelmingly that they will retch simply upon the thought of it- it is wise to be cautious with this powerful artifact.
With a dozen or so high-level mushroom trips under my belt, I did not believe that the brew would have an effect quite so pronounced upon me. True, the first experience was an utter failure! Short of a headache and the dizzying drunkenness one gets from consuming a substance high in harmalines, this experience left me to believe that my toleration of hallucinogens had increased during my absence, and so more would have to be consumed to even hedge on the effects that I was hoping to grasp. And so, that is exactly what I'd accomplished. Another batch was prepared post-haste, and the preparation was cut short. I'd tried to prepare the leaves from the vine so to be diligent and concise initially and spent well over 12+ hours doing so, this time however, all of the materials went into the same cauldron and were prepared how the vine would have wanted it. Needless to say, I also increased the amount of materials used, tripling their aggregation since previously! This time I didn't want just any experience; no I did not feel the need to dip my toe in the spring, I wanted to ascertain that truth belonging to the metaphysical dimension in which I'd been cast from, in which mushrooms no longer could afford without downing a good 15g's+.
Let the Games Begin
I pinched my nose and guzzled down the pasty liquid. Truly, it was a formidable brew, and somehow I knew it had been prepared correctly. As usual, I called a friend to give notice to my travels, in the case that I would need someone to speak to when the time came. (I tend to trip alone, the ease of tensions makes it palatable. But I am smart enough to know that sometimes you need someone level-headed to "talk" you out of certain places should your mind wander too far). [1min]
Earlier in the day, I'd been battling with a website to purchase very inexpensive tees, which they kept removing due to continuing delay of my decision to go ahead and make the purchase. Feeling somewhat exhilarated, I went ahead to search, once again, for the tees that had been removed from my cart so that I could make the purchase and put the anxiety behind me. At the same time, American Dad played, the episode in which Steve and the boys travel to California indie-style to go to Snot's dad's funeral. What a cosmic giggle if ever there was one! You'll know this to be true if you've seen the episode primarily for the grainy film used in the production of this episode. Initially I thought I was already beginning to see things, and only then realized that this anxiety had heaved the effects upon me. PURGE, PURGE, PURGE. Ever at the back of my throat, the brew squealed and bubbled. I knew I'd have to purge sometime before the end of the night, but surely not this early. PURGE, PURGE, PURGE. The buzzing sounds sparking from the screen joined in jarringly. American Dad broke out into a field of music, changing tempo and direction, sometimes playing forward and then at other times, flipped on its side or playing in reverse. All possibilities seemed relevant at this time. [5min]
Needless to say, I soon submitted to the purge. I knew not to for the properties were multiplied, but I think my mind knew better. The spit that formed from said purging bubbled, formed arachnid eyes that stared- watched my movement wherever I went. I dumped the bucket into the toilet, and the bucket coughed, as if it had purged itself as well. My mind was lost at this point. Nothing could hope to make sense in this abject form of reality! I lied on the ground, weary, weak. My limbs were removed of their efficacy and my equilibrium had been shattered even well before that. Catatonic bliss became me. A rather encroaching madness set itself upon my head and danced upon my body. It whispered things that man would never be able to comprehend, a rather speech by body language, and the body language was an aggregation of visions and images that revolved and continued to form from one thing unto the next. Such connectedness was beyond my control. From a bird, the sky would cast itself, only to shrink to the size of a marble dropped in a pool that flowed into the mouth of a giant with flames encircling the whole of its image and a whip brandished by fire in which it used to strike at me as if to say "Listen, pay attention!" [20min]
Let it be known, it's a fool's mistake to close his eyes to regain clarity! In all seriousness, the effects multiplied with eyes closed. This "wheel of madness" spun even faster in the dark, and the connections were pitched as if by utter abstractness.
I'd experienced death, and the promise of insanity too quickly for it to have much importance. Ego had no chance to claw at my throat for survival, it was completely tossed aside in but a matter of seconds. The thought "I should call 911 or an ambulance" was but a joke to me at this point. I knew that if I really was reaching death, I'd already arrived. To be honest, it was as if my soul and body were of two separate things now. My soul was concerned with travelling the dimensions unaffected by its removal, while my body simply did not want to mistake this feeling and actually call in unnecessary attention. I've died so many times that I find the true annoyance is when a third party tries to resuscitate me back to the world of the living. [30min]
As strength returned to my limbs, I thought to listen to music, or do something with this energy being provided to me. Lotus, a band I'd heard on this website, played only for a few moments. Their sounds echoed discordantly against my drums, and really their rhyme or reason was just as lost to me as some rap I've unfortunately listened to (which is a great shame, since I am black). It was so much so that it again plunged me into that world of chaos. PURGE, PURGE, PURGE. The idea relayed itself yet continually on the same track. Even with my attempts to fortify my nerves in order to just rest, the thought prevailed. PURGE, PURGE, PURGE. There was not much more of a choice, but to concede. And so, once again, I purged. [45min]
After this purge, I was afforded a great deal of consciousness, someone else's it seemed to be. It spoke, but was unlike any of the other entities before. It removed these other hiding shadows from my mind, stating there was no reason for them to coexist alongside mine. There were some cosmic jokes told, but I forget the gist of them now. One I do remember had to do with my last name, and the reason that I am finally beginning to accept it in light of the newly found resolve I had obtained even before taking the brew. The name, Williams, is not my maiden name, for my mother did not realize her true love until after I'd been born. Success and determination had to do with will power, WILL. Sure, it can be seen as a stretch, but this far I've not thought on taking on that name until the beginning of this year. And I was so far from the thought of the human will; to me, I was just sick of running from the sensible truth. I am a Williams, have always been since their marriage. But this entity knew better, I suppose. [1hr]
The trip was beginning to pass, in all sense of the word, through every orifice my body could afford. I was able to watch the episode of American Dad in the afterglow, in which more cosmic giggles were shed light on. Or it should be said, the association I had to these cosmic giggles were greater at this time of my life than any other. The rest of the night was spend to myself, nothing else remained. I found it a bit affable that the trip lasted for but an hour, the afterglow lasting for the remainder of the night, but I knew it to be because of how early I'd purged. Like said, I wasn't prepared as much as I thought I'd be, so I actually thank the early reemergence, and next time I will do things a bit differently.
Epilogue
This trip was the most exhausting, even in its short span of time. I questioned ever tripping again because it was like having my face ripped from the rest of me and plunged into a deep-fryer to experience the torments of what hell on earth must really be like. I have a newly found empathy for those who are truly mad, trust me, not so much a great experience, especially if there is no escape. I learned so much from this trip, but because of the duration and how quickly things passed, ended up forgetting the gist to most of the lessons. I will be doing this again someday, but it's going to take a lot of mental fortification. Honestly, to anyone prepared to experiment with this sort of brew, please consider it seriously. It's not another trip that you willy-nilly jump into and say "Ooh, this is gonna be fun." This will kick your ass, and will further humiliate you for all the sins you've committed in your life. Every decision you've ever made is spawned before you, and you kind of just sit there and take it. The closest thing I can say this is to is like in Christianity, in how it says that god will judge you in the end of days based upon your actions and thoughts. Guess that's what death really is like, being judged by yourself or whoever. But of course, I returned back to earth, so who knows what happens when you really die.
One love everyone, and safe travels always.
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