First Trip 2g

Well, about a week ago my good friend had told me that him and his brothers (he's in a frat, not actually related) were all gonna do shrooms at their apartment. He had invited me before, but because of how little I knew them, and the kind of activities they are into, I was very hesitant. Besides also hearing about how important set and setting are, I was leaning towards a "nah, I'll pass bro", but I knew that I had been waiting to try shooms for a while. So despite my small amount of fear and anxiety about doing it, I went ahead and did it anyway. I'm typing this 3 days later and I have not as of yet regret taking him up on it. 

So the day we planned on taking them finally came after days and days of doing research and fasting the whole day before (supposedly fasting makes you trip harder). Being that he had taken them before I trusted him in dosing me properly for a first trip. I was originally planning somewhere around 1.5 to 2. He said that i should take 2g dry and 1g wet so I went ahead and did. We broke them up first so that they would go down easier. Man were those dry ones hard to break with bare fingers (we didnt have anything to grind them at the time). After we had broken them up into individual cups and squeezed lemon juice in them (lemon tek method) we waited  and let them soak in for about 30 mins before actually taking them. It was about 530 when we finally took them and I have to say that I was fairly impressed with how decent the taste was. I had smelled them earlier and thought they were gonna taste like the bum hole that they smelled like. However that wasn't the case, and I was a very happy camper. We sat down and had ourselves some OJ while watching happy tree friends. His brother had it on and I was hoping he would change it before I started to trip. if you have never heard of Happy tree friends its title might be very misleading. It's a very graphic and bloody cartoon. I'm a pretty big horror fan so it didnt really get to me but its still pretty dark in general and I was worried it would send me in to a bad trip. After a while we started watching adventure time which was a bit more suitable I would say. Definitely a happier show yet oddly trippy.

About 20-30 minutes in I felt like the light coming in through the curtain was a bit brighter than usual, but I just chalked it up to a placebo affect being that nothing else was really feeling different. The room is generally pretty dark so i convinced myself it wasn't really the shrooms having an affect on me quite yet but just the contrast of the dark room and the bright light coming in. I started to feel a bit nervous so I started to look up at the ceiling while resting my head back on the couch. I began to notice the light from the tv was casting tiny little shadows all over the ceiling. Its one of those ceilings with all the little white styrofoam type balls on it. I stared for a while and there was really nothing that special the effect it was creating, until BAM!!!!! The ceiling slowly began rotating and had multiple layers to it. I could see each layer separately swirling about with these crazy small but intricate patterns. It looked like the layers were separating from each other and coming down and up at the same time. Always being a guy whos had a deep appreciation for art I just couldn't contain my emotions. I began to smile and breathe really deeply until tears started running down my face like mad. Eventually I caught the attention of my friend who was sitting in a chair across the room. He turns back and starts laughing because that he told me he himself had started crying out of nowhere last time he tripped. I started laughing with him as i stared back up. I couldn't believe what i was seeing. Its literally the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. I will never forget it.

For some reason I told myself that I needed a hug. My friend being the cool dude he is gladly accepted my request for a hug with open arms. It was definitely one of the top 5 hugs of my life haha. It was funny because we have all heard phrases such as "we are all gods children" and "we are all brother and sister" but it wasn't until that actual moment that I accepted it as an undeniable truth. I proceeded to tell him that I loved him while saying it in the least gay way possible as I walked back to my original spot on the couch. He reciprocated the notion and I went back to staring at the ceiling just crying and taking these deep, slow and loud obnoxious breaths. I realized I have been breathing my whole life but never had it felt like such a gift. I simply could not have enough air.

I had so many thought running through my head at this point, I wanted to let them all out but new I should keep quiet for my friend since he was tripping as well and I didn't want to make him confused by all the weird shit I wanted to spill out of my mouth. I pulled out my laptop so i could start typing all these things going through my head. I began typing faster and faster with excitement as all these strange questions and realizations were flying at me. The faster I typed the faster my breathing became and my visual field just became stranger and stranger. I started to see channels of color bordering the solid edges of all the things that were on my screen. Almost like those 3d glasses with a blue and red lenses. When I would shift my eyes or move I could see these layers of color. The euphoria was just growing stronger and stronger as I cry typing with a big old goofy grin on my face.

Suddenly a couple of my friends' brothers walked in to the apartment and see me smiling in tears. I felt this instant bond with them when they looked at me because something about their facial expressions told me they understood exactly what I was feeling (maybe because I knew they tripped a week previously). We re-introduced ourselves since last time I saw them it was a very brief intro and meeting and I didn't really talk to them. One of them had just dosed before leaving his house so he was due to start tripping pretty soon as well. We all decided to sit and smoke some weed a bit being that we were coming up and wanted to avoid the nausea that often comes along with taking shrooms. 

We all sat there smoking and laughing giddily passing around 2 pipes at once between the 3 of us. For whatever reason I couldn't quite get the process of holding the carb when taking hits. I have a pipe that was similar to these ones but I just didn't know how to work this foreign object with full confidence. It felt brand new to me so I would just inhale while alternating between holding the carb and letting it go every half second just switching between the two until i got smoke in my lungs hahaha.

At this point all our movements and interactions began to feel very strange to me. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what was wrong but for some reason I had this feeling like we all had scripts and were acting in some sort of movie or something. Hearing my own voice in this script mode was what bothered me the most. It was a very very weird feeling, almost like we were all brand new to this planet and didn't know what we were supposed to be doing so we did the only thing we can do and blend in by acting like each other to appear "normal". I always felt like life was like this but to a much smaller degree. However, right now it just completely consumed me, it was all I could notice. At that point I really saw no option but to just roll with it. 

After a while my friends other brother who was in the kitchen preparing coals for the hookah they were gonna smoke came in. He knew we were all probably having good visuals at this point and said, "check this out" as he walked in to the room. He picked up one of the red-hot coals with a pair of tongs and blew on it, which resulted in a gust of sparks in front of all of us. It looked SO freaking awesome. I could see each and every spark in the air and where they all were in space in relation to each other. It wasn't just a bunch of sparks going in one general direction.  It was exactly like watching a 3d film except clearer and even more Hd. Soon as they started smoking I started to see the same type of patterns in the smoke as I did earlier in the ceiling. Just amazing clouds of swirling patterns and such symmetry in the way they smoke would separate and dissipate from itself being spread out all over the room. Little did I know that I would be experiencing a similar effect with my body and the rest of the room as the trip grew stronger. Before any of this I could have never imagined a world of such perfect movement and beauty, and being able to experience it in this world I have already been living in, all from a small hand full of dried mushrooms. Something the earth has been naturally producing for millions of years.

Somewhere in the middle of this trip (im not sure when) I remember my friend handing me a bag of skittles as I made my way to the restroom. I remember putting a decent handful in my mouth like I normally do when I'm stoned with the munchies. However upon munching on the skittles for a few seconds I began to feel like I want eating food, it was just the processed crap made by man. I thought it was absolutely disgusting and could not make myself swallow them and ended up spitting a big mouthful of rainbow into the toilet. It was then that I looked deep into the toilet and as ugly as a toilet can be (especially in an apartment full of messy young adults) I began to see the layers again like I saw on the ceiling. I never could have imagined that chipped and discolored porcelain from the bottom of a toilet could be so beautiful. I then realized I originally went there to pee so I proceeded to do so while making sure not to look directly at my penis. I knew it would look very foreign and strange to me so I avoided eye contact at all costs (lol eye contact, because my penis hole is essentially an eye.). I was actually less scared of looking at my reflection in the mirror, which I did for only quick moment, and what I noticed most was many different colored textures all over my face like splotches of paint. I was happy with what I saw and decided to look away and get out fast before I got completely lost in the mirror and started to see other things that would flip me the hell out.

I'm not exactly sure of what happened next but I ended up sitting in a chair somewhere else across the room trying to watch adventure time. It was not happening though, I could hardly focus on the television. I couldn't really focus on anything, everything happening in the room seemed to just blend together. The warping walls and the movement of everybody in the room weren't just things happening separately. Everything was one thing including me. It sounds crazy even to me typing this right now. It was overwhelming there was just so much going on in my visual field I couldn't turn the volume down at all. So I decided to try and draw/color. I had brought paper and crayons to draw just because I thought it might be fun/interesting to create something while in a completely different state of mind. I picked up my backpack and was really distracted by the way it was warping. I quickly snapped myself out of it because I knew I could easily stare at that backpack for hours and not get bored. I stuck my hand in my backpack and felt around for my clipboard. Again I was distracted, but this time it was all the thoughts going through my head.

At this point is when things really started to amp up. I can't remember everything I said, but I couldn't control the thoughts anymore and I began to verbalize everything I was thinking. I knew they sounded crazy but the ideas were just screaming at me and I couldn't shut myself up. This is where my memory gets a bit hazy. I remember coming to the conclusion that I was "god" and everyone and everything around me collectively was god. They were all equal and one. I knew at the time it was the truth and that it always had been but I just never have been able to see it. Also, im going to mention as an atheist I don't mean god in the biblical sense of the word or any other religion you can attach the word too. I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt the possibilities of what I can do in this body were infinite, I could get up off the couch and move in millions of different directions and started saying out loud "there are so many paths. They are everywhere, which one do I take". I then snapped back to my body and realized I was still sitting with my hand in my backpack and my backpack sitting in my lap.

I took notice of the sensation in my hand. It felt moist, warm and cool all at the same time and in the best way possible. Not like that stuffy cold sweat feeling you have when you wake up in the middle of the night from a fever under a cold sweat soaked blanket. The best way I can describe it was that it felt like my hand was a frog in a dense rain forest tucked into a little nest. So of course I left  my hand in the bag.

Suddenly I flipped my attention back to my friend who was on the couch next to me who began to flip shit( I found out later after the trip that he had taken a huge dab during the come up. He started moaning in a very distressed manner, which started to freak us all out. He was so gone until I asked, " _________, are you alright" to which he replied " yeah, bro, yeah bro" in the most convincing tone I have every heard. It was a mindfuck because we had all just seen him sink into the couch moaning in what seemed like mental agony. As soon as he assured us he was okay he lay his head back down on the couch and went right back into the same exact moan. That kept happening on and off for what felt like a lifetime. In reality I must have asked him if he was okay like 10 times. Each and every time he would look at mewith a warm smile on his face and in a hurried voice "yeah, yeah bro, im good, im good". I just remember switching between this and my internal thoughts over and over and over again, each time slightly different from the last, but essentially all the same

This is when I began to peak and my god was it a bumpy ride. At this point I started experiencing the dreaded "thought loops" I have read about. Everything I was thinking started to come full circle over and over again, then I would tend to my friend asking if he was okay over and over. The thought loops and the interaction loops with my friend started to loop with each other until it was just too much. Everything was too much for me.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any more intense things took a change I could have never expected. My visuals began to intensify to the point that everything I saw that was moving had a trail of several after images behind it. What was worse was that my friends other brothers began showing up at the apartment one after another. I just saw people going in and out the door passed me and around me. All of the faces were familiar but not like I had remembered them before. I saw the same people pass me 3-4 times but each time not the exact same version of that person, they looked slightly different each time. Their faces would warp ever so slightly each time that It was like I was seeing alternate universes all with same people but different with each passing second.  I was sure that I would be stuck in this room until the world and life itself ceased to exist.  It was then that the idea hit me that I/god/everything around me has existed since the beginning of time and it would continue as such in this infinite loop. I was sure my previous state of existence was a thing of the past and that this is what mushrooms did, open this door of ultimate truth and leave it open permanently until all time and life came to a stop. I suddenly knew I had never known anything in my previous consciousness and that now I had to be humble and accept what my existence was now and respect it. While I was scared to absolute death I kept telling myself "its okay, this is the price to pay to see the world as it really is" I felt extremely blessed and cursed all at once. I felt as if though within all these realities time was still moving as I was stuck in this permanent loop and I some place somewhere was forever to be seen by others as the guy who did shrooms and went crazy and ruined his normal life on the planet. Never did anything stop, I just saw a constant flow of life all around me and I was in what I would call a permanent state of sensory overload. Throughout all of this I kept noticing that all we can really experience in this world is "the present" and that's all that all we really have In the world and is the only true thing that exists. This was the most confusing and surreal part of my trip and It saddens me that there are no words in any language to describe what I went through and the magnitude of it all.

Eventually I started to come down and It was a great relief. I realized that I had obligations and that I would get to leave and go home. Most importantly I would get to sleep. The idea of sleep was very comforting. I noticed that the boondocks was on the tv and it was an episode called "the real" which was freaking me out a little because huey was talking about life being an illusion like the matrix. I hope you can understand why that was a bit strange and was related to trip in a way. There was also these weird 3d textures in the artwork of the show that were freaking me out  since its a 2d show. Felt like subliminal messages of sorts. . To be fair though they crate an amazing sense of depth and movement in that show so It isn't crazy to see patterns in the art. . Especially the end of the episode next to that old tree. Also, i closed my eyes in hopes of seeing some CEV's. As soon as I closed my eyes I  instantly noticed a rotating 3d geometric figure with an eye embedded in the center. Reminded me of the illuminati all seeing eye on the pyramid in the illustrations seen on the one dollar bill. That freaked me out even more so i just kept my eyes opened. 

As we all came down I started to piece my life back together. After this point I became very quiet. However the others were just talking and laughing like nothing just happened. I was kind of shocked. My experience was so beautiful I knew everything in life is much bigger than any of us can comprehend. I couldn't understand the idea of people being so confident (especially after tripping)in everything they say and do when the human race only knows a fraction of the knowledge this world holds.

I know this all sounds crazy, It sounds crazy even to me typing it, but its what I felt and experienced.. and that's all I have to say about that.