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12 Psilocybe Cyanescens
I have used mushrooms a few times before, about 10 times I believe. I find that there are benefits to tripping with friends and alone- but I craved the self-exploration that tripping alone could bring. I picked the cyans and then hurried home to eat them. They were pretty disgusting, but with some bread and orange squash they went down with a bit more ease. Having consumed the shrooms, I got my things together and headed out. The area I live in has some beautiful woodland not too far from it, so I planned to trip there, surrounded by nature. Almost immediately after leaving my house, I began to feel the threshold effects- a sense that the normal world was becoming different somehow, a feeling of everything being somehow more prominent than before. As I made my way to the woods, my girlfriend texted me asking me how I was doing. By now, I had started having my first visuals- tree branches and leaves moved mystically in the wind, spiralling as a result of the contrast in colours and depth. I told her I was just starting to really trip and so I doubted I would be able to talk to her much longer. We wished each other well and then I hung up. I had arrived at the woods. There are trails one can follow in this woodland, and immediately as I entered the woods I experienced a massive increase in the effects of the shrooms. Colours became intensely vibrant. I highly recommend to anyone tripping in the woods in the autumn. The reds, yellows, browns of the fallen leaves were simply incredible- a kaleidoscope of plant matter. Slowly making my way through the woods at a snails pace, fascinated by what I was seeing, I eventually came to an enclosed area, with trees all around except for a small unobscured patch where I could see the white sky above me. I looked at the ground, and slowly turned my neck upwards. I remember distinctly becoming more and more impressed as I looked more upwards- I stared in wonder at forest floor, marvelled at the trees and bushes at my head height. As I finally looked up at that white patch of sky, I felt like I was observing a sky goddess. There was no physical shape, but a sense of a female entity being summoned into the patch of sky. I felt like I was being told to watch, to bear witness to this, to wonder at it. I did. I should have realised at this point how shroomed I was going to be- it had only been 30 minutes since I took the shrooms, and usually I take over an hour to properly come up. After the numinous feeling subsided, I continued on my way into the woods. I reached a clearing, a circular section with many paths to take. I cant stress just how beautiful the leaves looked on the floor- a seemingly endless, multi textural, multi-coloured mass. Once you reach the clearing, there are 2 main paths you can take. Engaged in the adventurous nature of the shrooms, I wandered to the left, not following the paths but instead making my own. As I went along, I came to a part where the once level ground ceased to be, and there were these circular pits. I stayed here, just stood up and looking at things for a while. I thought about how beautiful nature is- I remember thinking that I should make an effort to enjoy biology at college more- after all, biology is just the study of living things and the earth. I also thought about how I should make more of an effort to get along with people I have assumed are not alike to me. I thought that there was no excuse not to try and be happy in most situations. Being positive and happy nearly always results in the best outcome. To an extent, we create our own reality- and this should be utilised to its maximum. We have to try and do our best to create a reality that is not only good for us, but one which is good for others to.
Moving on, there were narrow paths of moss that were the sides of the pits, and I jumped from path to path, feeling like a character in a video game. Only the video game was life, and I loved it. I came to a section so stacked with leaves that when I got there I thought it might be mud, so deep was it. I was really starting to trip heavily. Things were becoming so prominent and distinct, that they all started to blend into one. That sounds paradoxical, but this is what I felt happened. From this point, I cannot remember my trip so well, largely because I became quite disconnected from reality. I will try to remember the best I can. I recall a sense of being overwhelmed with the shroomy feeling. I stumbled around slowly, confused. I decided I needed to sit or lie down. But my motor functioning was messed up. I ended up led down, my face on the fabric of my bag. That is when it happened. I started to descend into what I can only call limbo. Not in a religious sense, but time ceased, I didnt know where I was, and it seemed thought was the new material of this world. Whatever I thought, I saw in my head. I felt as if I couldnt move at all. I felt trapped in eternity. As I got a sensation of transcending time, it felt as I saw how unlikely everything is. Or rather, how there could be universes where everything is the same but there are differences, different types of topics, of interactions, species. So strange we should happen to be in this one. I remember thinking what is the meaning of this? We have been born into the universe, but that is the result of so many chance probabilities. Surely our existence means something? Out of everything that could have happened, it happened so that things are as they are now. I felt as if some higher power was trying to tell me to make sense of these things, but I couldnt. I was no physicist. Im awful at maths and such. I think I also felt as if I had left this universe. I had seen others that were very similar. But this was traumatic. We know nothing but our universe, and seeing that all the laws that govern everything, including everything i hold dear were just one possible outcome. Whether logical or not, I remember thinking maybe I would never get back to the normal world. I believe I was in this position for about 2 hours. I tried to work my phone to check the time but my vision was hardly vision at all, and my motor skills were to gone to work a phone. From here on I started to get scared and frankly, quite paranoid. I had no idea where I was, and could not really see at all. I thought I may have accidentally rang someone by messing with my phone, and that they could hear me tripping my nut off. I began to here cars going by, and faint voices. I wont deny how messed up this sounds, but I thought people had found me lying like that, maybe the police. Every sound I heard made me think whatever it was coming after me. Cars, motorbikes, helicopters. I needed a piss so got up and not even knowing where I was, pissed. In my head, there could easily have been people watching. After this I began to realise how dark it was getting. I couldnt seem to grab all my things but I tried. I saw a red light on my phone and realised it was running out of battery. My phone was my only source of light and so I realised I really needed to get home. I ran home, and it was only half the way home that was sure I was actually on the right track to get there. When I did get home, it was a massive relief. I laid on my bed and wondered what it all meant, still tripping.