First Bad Trip

Fast forward to now, I decided to do another grow, and I innoculated 2 jars of B+. The same buddy i did the shrooms with last time, came over again and me and him decided to split a quarter ounce, an 8th a piece. So whilst waiting for the big bang, we played COD: Ghosts. We were both having an excellent time for about 2 hours, messing around with my dog and watching funny shows, looking at groovy things on his ipad. Then we decided to go outside to his car and smoke some MaryJ. I was tripping so hard i couldnt even hit the bowl, and I dont even know why! lost half the weed on the ground, froze my ass off (an illinois november night) and didnt even know if i was high from the MaryJ. After about 45 minutes we decide to go back into the house.

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This is where the bad trip started. Everyone that lived in the house was sleeping and are anti-pot smoking. So I try to keep it on the down low. We layed down on the couch to start watching tv again and I started to smell pot on me. And I thought we were being too loud so I kept telling him to be quiet and was tweaking out. I turned the lights off (first big mistake) and sat down on my couch trying to think of an excuse to where I was to my aunt if she came downstairs. ( it was like 3am when we came back in from smoking). 

Thats where I was stuck in a loop. I kept trying to think about somthing to say, literally in my head all I could think was "im just going to say...im just going to say...im just going to say.." I couldnt think of anything and if I did, I couldnt hold on to the thought. The tv kept echoing in the background, and not to freak my friend out I would occasionally fake laugh at the tv and just say "sorry man im tripping my balls off". But it all got worse. 

It came in waves, my body would tense up for a few seconds and I could hear static, like radio static, outside my house, very loud! then it would all go away for a couple seconds, then it would come back. This repeated for about an hour. I kept glancing at my phone to check the time. My friend would occasionally look at me and go "dude..you ok?" and I would just hold my finger to my lips and go sshhhhh. He started to feel as if I was pissed that he was there. I just told him "sorry if im being a dick man, but im having a really bad trip right now, just let me ride it out". So I sat on my couch in the dark room, stuck in my own mind, with the force of the universe coming down on me, but it all got a bit worse.

I was still in the "im just going to say.." loop when i looked at a lamp next to me. i looked closely at the design and I saw that the lamp was covered in ticking clocks. Then the whole lamp started to melt. While it was melting I heard it screaming in pain. I closed my eyes and hands over my ears. My buddy is on the couch looking at me, worried. I get up, for no reason, and start hiding random things, like the remote, orange juice, I just want to get my mind off of the crazy shit happening. I sat back down and started looking up what to do in case of a bad trip. I start thinking about calling an ambulence, hoping they could put me to sleep until I was back to normal because I was in certain fear that this bad trip would last forever. I realize that the tv keeps replaying certain parts of the episode( just cuz im tripping) and my buddy is just staring at me without blinking which didnt help the whole situation. By now I dont even feel like im in my body, I feel as if im sitting right next to myself. And I hear a faint voice in my head whispering "It needs to stop...It all needs to stop". 

I started thinking about going upstairs and grabbing my cousins 9mm. To end it all. Because it all needed to stop. I got up and paced the room, thinking about how to get the gun, it was in a safe in his closet and he was sleeping. I needed the fast way out, the trip needed to stop, certainly I was stuck like this forever. I sat down on the couch, for about 30 minutes, just breathing and feeling the universe attack me. I looked on google to see if there was a hotline for people having a bad trip (i was looking for any kind of help at that time). I finally found a piece of advice that started to calm me down. I read a thread on the shroomery and someone just said "Shrooms are just a drug, they WILL ware off eventually." So I sat for hours. Waiting. Enduring the painful fear. My friend occasionally would look at me and ask if i was doing ok and i just responded "It will end..itll stop, dont worry" (at this point he was freaking out too). Finally at about 4:30am ( we took them at around 11pm), I started to snap back into reality.

It was as if sickness was sucked right from my body. I turned the lights back on, and turned on workaholics. Me and my buddy went out to the garage, so he could smoke a cig. We were calmed down and still kinda tripping so we were just sharing our emotions and how we were feeling during the bad trip. I kept thanking him for being there because if i were alone, i may have killed myself. We went inside and watched some funny shit having a good time till about 5:30 am and then went to bed. 

This was definetly a learning experience. I always thought a bad trip was just seeing scary things, i never thought that it would effect my whole being, making me feel as if the entire universe was crushing me, giving me sick thoughts. I now know to respect the mushrooms, they are nothing like drinking or smoking MaryJ. Mushrooms will take hold of you and will infect your being. 

P.S. I never actually found any bad trip hotline, so i thought maybe it would be interesting to start one. If you are planning on tripping for the first time and are scared of a bad trip, PM me and i can give you an instant messenger thats linked to my phone. So on the night that you decide to trip, ill keep my phone on loud and leave it right next to my head when i go to sleep. That way if things start to go south, ill try my best to make it better. Any thoughts on that idea would be appreciated as well.

Thanks for reading!