So I guess I will start by saying that I have a fair amount of psychedelic experiences under my belt, and many breakthroughs as well. I have also done 5 grams many times before this one. It has always been Terrence McKenna's silent darkness routine, which has worked well for me. In order for someone else to try to understand the experience I must say one thing: lately I have been seriously struggling with one of my college classes. And has caused me to have a built up temper, slight depression , and a decrease in my overall quality of life. It had really taken a toll on me. So on to the trip report. It was Friday night about 10:30 pm. This was planned out weeks in advance. It was my sister, her boyfriend, and I. We each powdered up 5 grams of my typical high quality cubensis mushrooms and we each mixed it with a glass of OJ. We chugged it and raced around doing whatever else we needed to to prepare for what was ahead of us; getting a drink ready, smoking herb, ect. About 10 minutes later we all went into separate rooms, like we have always done high doses. So I get into my already prepared room and toke on a bowl. While I'm sitting there all I can think of is how disappointed in myself I am that I am not doing well with chemistry. I keep telling myself that nows not the time, and I am just really trying to drop iit, but I could not for the life of me quit thinking about school. So this goes on until I'd say 11:30-11:45 and then all of a sudden, OMG!!!!
So in the past with what I've called my mushroom journeys(5 grams or more), they have ALWAYS been profoundly spiritual for me. But not this one. Not even slightly, but it was every bit the most intensely positive and profound experience of my life. While I was sitting there in my room Indian style on the floor on a beanbag, what I always just call " the mushroom", just sat there with me all night. And it made me reevaluate almost every aspect of my life. The first 1.5- 2 hours were just about school. It drilled it heavily into my head that I have to try harder. And that I am selling myself short in life. But what was crazy about this is that I was in uttermost complete euphoria. Love amplified exponentially . I stayed in a state of hibernation the entire trip while the mushroom taught me lessons about myself and my impacts and interactions with my family and other people. It showed me intense empathy for certain people, which gave me new impressions and judgements of people I may have judged harshly. It was a complete eye opening experience. Not that I would say I needed therapy, I don't have any serious issues or problems, but it felt like years of intensive and expensive therapy in 4 hours. It was very intense, it reminded me very much of smoking DMT. I could hear a buzzing in my head like Dmt does to me.there were visuals, but they were absolutely meaningless compared to connection and moments I spent in the presence of the mushroom. I can't explain it all obviously, but I literally wept the entire time. I would say that's how it might feel if god were to manifest and embrace me with all his love. But like I Said it was not spiritual like others I've had. I would compare it more to an ayahuasca experience. This experience has opened me up to a whole new idea of mushrooms. I now see their potential as medicine.