The good the bad and everything inbetween

Ive never written a trip report before so i appologise before hand for anything i do poorly or plain old wring but this is my encounter with mushrooms. Ok, so ill start off with a little background of my mushroom history. Ive only done mushrooms once prior to this incident my first time i took an eighth in a peanut butter sandwich and literally sat in a dark room with my brother and had a blast laughing and thinking crazy thoughts it was a grand ol' time. 

So onto my trip report, since i endured an eighth just fine me my friend and my brother decide to get some shrooms (liberty caps? That is my guess.) we all sat in my basement and ingested an eighth raw with no food. I had literally not eaten anything that whole day except toast in the early morning. After eating them we decided we would smoke weed on my porch to enjoy our time before the shrooms set in. About 15 minutes after smoking the body high hit me and i had a permanent grin on my face when we went back into the basement. We all sit down on the couch and we put on some pinkfloyd with some visualizer on the tv. I started getting the visuals and got really giddy. I just sat looking around the room seeing things melt and wave in front of my eyes. Eventually the whole room was doing what the visualizer was doing and i felt like the music was made for me in that exact moment of time, like the song was hand written by pinkfloyd for me to trip on mushrooms to or something. It kind of freaked me out a little, but it was really cool. I wish i could explain the feeling better it was almost extra terrestrial it was so out of this world like i had lost my mind right then in there, and it was only the beginning.  I break my silence by saying, "you are all really me!" But it seemed like nobody heard me. And what i meant by that was, it was literally just me in this "reality" and everything and everyone i saw was just figments of my imagination. Shortly after that the music and visuals became to much for me and i demanded it be shut off. I said it over and over until my brother shut it off. Then  out of no where my other friend comes over trying to sell me more mushrooms. I told him we were already on mushrooms, he gave me a grin like "and you didnt invite me?" Kind of face. So he and my shroomed out friend went for a walk. And offered me to come. I told them, "i don't think i could make it anywhere else right now." The idea of there being more outside the four walls i was in was a daunting thought. I didn't even want to think about it. So they left for a walk and it was just me and my brother. After a few minutes of being silent i say "where we just talking?" And he goes "yea i think." And i swear we were talking to each other in our heads which freaked me out into thinking that the world really is all in my head. I started asking him over and over "am i ok? Am i ok?" And he gives me a look like "come on your on mushrooms" and tells me "its only temporary try to enjoy it". It reassured me into being calm again. But i started getting really bad energy from him and it seriously scared me. So i said "I'm gonna go upstairs." I started walking upstairs and as soon as i opened the door from my basement my friends were standing there i look at them and don't say a word.(my mom and her bf were in the living room)my friends follow me up to my room. And my sober friend asks "did you just get into a fight with your brother?" And i looked dumb founded at him like what are you talking about? And i sit on the end of my bed not saying a word just completely out of this world. And my sober friend was trying to talk to me and i just wasn't really responding i was just staring at him like a confused dog or something. I was still entertaining the idea that everyone was figments of my imagination. So he turns to my mushroomed out friend (whom was not even half as gone as i was) and starts telling him how i am "faking" it and how he was "never that stupid on mushrooms" (he took low doses previously which i babysat him through) those words really stuck with me and i began thinking i was brain dead and that the trip was never ending and i came up with the idea that everything this whole time was "just a mushroom trip, life is just a mushroom trip." My mushroomed out friend responds by saying "no dude he's seriously fucking gone right now." And my sober friend starts literally yelling at me for something he left at my house the day before. "Where is it?" He asked several times then pointed at my dresser, "is that it?" He declared and i walked over to my dresser grabbed my deodorant and walked back to him and handed it to him. "What the fuck is this?" He yelled at me. I looked frightened at him and shrugged. That is when i lost my mind and i literally heard him say "all you have to do is fart." Then he hopped from one foot to the other like you would see a leprechaun do in a cartoon, and he farted each time he landed. I must of stared at the kid like he was friggin jesus or something because my shroomed out friend says "i think he just needs to go to bed." That snapped me back to reality and i quickly nodded and the two of them departed. So i was alone in my room i got up and took off all my clothes and then sat in my computer chair i felt a lot more comfortable being alone. I just got wild thoughts about how i could literally do anything (in the sense of being like a god) and i considered going streaking outside. Then i had to pee really bad and i was scared to leave my room at this point so i literally peed on my floor -.- talk about being fucked up.i eventually stumbled into my bed and lay awake having wild theories about what the world is with my eyes shut and i just felt like i was in the matrix and then i felt like i was just decaying in my bed and that the next morning i would be a skeleton on my bed. The idea didn't scare me at all i laid back and excepted the idea of dying. I thought my death would end all of reality and nothing would be anything any longer until i made it all again, almost like reincarnation. Then i woke up the next day and felt like i was born again like i felt better than i have ever felt that morning. I just wanted to see people and talk to them (that definitely isn't like me i suffer from social anxiety) that feeling lasted a couple days. After this mushroom trip i almost feel like a piece of me has died but that i know what the afterlife holds for me.

There were some terrifying times during this trip and some fun times. But all an all i don't think I will ever do that high of a dose again if i do mushrooms again in general. Over the past year or two i feel like mushrooms mentally changed me, for the better or worse, I'm not sure. I weighed about 130lbs with little to no food in my stomach upon ingestion. Ive left out some things that are indescribable to me, it would be like trying to describe a color.  Ever since this trip i never have a good time on marijuana. The two may be unrelated just a funny coincidence.