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Life-changing experience

first time on shrooms was amazing

Right off the bat, I want to apologize for the length of the story, it's practically a short novel at this point. My first experience with shrooms, though, was nothing short of life-changing.  I've tripped on shrooms about five times now, but my first was by far the best. It was single handedly one of the best, most eye-opening experiences of my life. This is how I recall it happening:

To set you up, I had been trying to get ahold of shrooms with my then-roommate for quite some time, but we just didnt know the right people to ask I guess. After trying for about a year with no luck, one day, out of the blue, one of my friends texts me saying, "hey you want any shrooms?" Without asking the price or how much I was getting, I called him immediately and asked where we could meet up. By that time, I had done so much research and had been waiting for so long, I didn't care what the price was. I probably would've gave him a $100 tip just for hooking me up at that point. After I got the shrooms, I went straight home and put them in my closet. I had bought an eighth (not sure what that equates to in grams), and I was going to plan out the soonest available day I could take them.

They sat in my closet for about a week. I had this friend at work who was a pretty hardcore druggie, so I was talking to him about it every chance I got. He said I really only needed to take a half eighth for a good trip, and just suggested to be in a warm, happy place to avoid a bad trip. I was so anxious to eat them, but wanted to wait for the perfect day.

Then it just kinda happened. I was planning on hanging out with an old buddy of mine (his name is Alex) after he got off of work that night. He didn't get off till later, like 9 or so. Even though I was hoping to take the shrooms on a nice sunny day, I was too anxious to wait any longer, and texted him before he got off asking him if he'd want to do them with me. He'd never done them before either, so it was going to be a surprise for both of us.

We met up after he got off, along with another two of my friends who were mostly just pot heads, but they had both taken shrooms before. They seemed indifferent about the whole thing, probably because they'd already experienced it, but they both recommended them and said I was "in for a good night." Alex, the friend taking the shrooms with me, was kinda nervous, but I was just excited. The four of us hopped in one of our cars, and we went to McDonald's for McDoubles and drinks to eat the shrooms with. Alex and I divided the shrooms in two, put them on the burgers and scarfed them down. I didn't think it tasted that bad (although I haven't had a McDonald's burger since then), especially with a drink to wash them down with, but Alex said it was the worst thing he'd ever tasted. He was gonna save his last few bites for later.

From there I started to get antsy, waiting for the shrooms to kick in. I didn't know what to expect. Everyone I had talked to had said that they were "life changing." Many people I talked to said they don't think the same way after taking them. As I started to think about this and it made me a little uncomfortable. I liked who I was, and I didn't want to change that. Besides that, the only other 'drug' I had done at that time was weed, so I was starting to feel uncertain. I knew that shrooms were pretty safe and that I wasn't in danger of dying or anything, but I think I just wanted some reassurance that everything was going to be okay, so I texted my friend that sold me them and told him that I had eaten the whole bag (even though I hadn't), and asked if I'd be alright. He responded a few minutes later with something like, "yeah I did some already" and that was all I needed to put those thoughts out of my head.

I knew the shrooms wouldn't kick in right away, so I wasn't worried that nothing happened for about the first half hour. Me and my three other friends had gotten back in the car and driven over to yet another friend's house, so that the two who hadn't eaten the shrooms could buy a bag of weed and smoke. Since I wasn't feeling anything yet, I decided I would still be okay to drive myself over there as well. That way, if I wanted to leave later, I could. By the time we pulled into to "the shack" as we called it, I was starting to feel different. It was about 11:00pm and it had been about 45 mins since we ate the mushroom burgers. My stomach felt kind-of queasy, but 'queasy' isn't the best word for it, because it wasn't upset; it was more like the butterflies you get in your stomach when you go over a hill, but a very soft and constant sensation.

After parking the car, we all walked behind my friends house and out to "the shack" out back. "The shack" was a place where my friends parents gutted and skinned their deer after hunting, so it was kinda a nasty place. But it had a lot of chairs and a wood burning stove so even in the winter it was always toasty, and it just so happened to double as a really good smoking spot. When we walked into the shack, there was already a few people sitting down, passing a bowl around. I knew everyone there, so it was a pretty comfortable place to be in. By that time I was feeling quite different. My head felt as though I was quickly becoming really stoned or something, almost like a cloudy sort-of feeling. As they were packing another bowl, the high feeling quickly kept rising and rising, until I could almost feel myself burst through the last layer of clouds and into the clear, sunny sky above. My trip had begun.

I looked around the room at all the people sitting around. Suddenly, I became ecstatic, grinning from ear to ear. The sensation in my stomach had been building until the point when it seemed to just take over my whole body. The high feeling was gone, and I felt like I had just had an insane burst of energy fill my body. Right then, I realized I was standing in their smoking circle, and the pipe was being handed to me. I didn't want to smoke, I wanted to enjoy this feeling instead! I took the pipe and passed it right on to the person next to me, not saying a word, just smiling. Someone asked, "you're not gonna smoke?" but one of the friends we were with at McDonald's replied, "nah, they're trippin on shrooms." Suddenly, everyone became interested, asking how I was feeling and stuff. I couldn't help but just keep smiling and said, "really good!"

The bowl went around the circle a few times, and I couldn't help but picture a scene in my head: all my friends and I were up in the sky, sitting on clouds, my friends were all down on a cloud below me, smoking pot and passing it around, and I was up on a much higher cloud, looking down on them. The whole time I was thinking, "this is like a whole new world. This is uncharted territory! There they are, all sitting down there thinking that getting stoned is so much fun, no, no THIS is fun! They're deadening their senses, mine are just coming to life!" Of course, they were on cloud 9, but I couldn't imagine which cloud I was on, or which cloud I was going to.

I started thinking about all these crazy things that I've never thought about before. All these things that I normally take for granted and have never questioned. Things that seem so ordinary but in all actuality are just plain weird! Why are things the way they are? Who made them that way? Why have I never realized things so plainly obvious before? All these thoughts and a hundred more began to fill my mind in an instant. I couldn't help but start blurting out these things that suddenly made no sense to me, maybe because I wanted to know the answer but more likely because they were coming to me quicker than I could remember them! It all started to pour out and everyone looked at me, half smiling as though they were amused because they knew I was tripping. Everyone became intent on listening to my questions, some tried to answer some of them, but their answers were too slow and it seemed all too obvious to me that they were more guessing at the answer than telling me the actual answer. Suddenly I had a million things I wanted to know, and I was determined to figure them all out!

I walked outside the shack and into the warm night air. I looked up at the sky for awhile and just thought about how huge the world was, and I had hardly seen any of it. Immediately I wanted to explore. I wanted to go searching for some answers for myself. I went back into the shack and everyone seemed to have a smile on their face as though I could read their minds, "its this guy again!" My scattered thoughts were hard to keep up with, and I just kept asking questions. I was questioning everything I had ever known, and it was such a relief.

It was at this point I realized my friend Alex who had taken the shrooms with me wasn't having a very good trip. I remembered the rest of his shroom-burger he hadn't finished eating yet, and told him to finish it because it's amazing! He said he didnt really feel like it, so I thought, "fuck it" and I ate the rest of it.

I had a backpack on that I had forgot about (I had the shrooms in it earlier). I remember thinking how useful backpacks really are, and determined that I should wear one more often. "How many times do I need stuff wherever I am?" I thought. "And a backpack is perfect for that!" I opened it up to see what I could find in it, since I hadn't taken it out of the closet in awhile. I found almost nothing, except for one book that really sparked my interest, "Plato's Republic."

I had taken a class on Western Philosophy the previous semester in college, and the book was required reading. Of course, I hardly read any of it, but I had gone to all the classes and the professor had astounded me with his simple logic. I opened it up and started reading. The semester before, I hadn't read much of the book because it is older than the Bible and hard to read (especially with such names as Thrasymachus), but as I read it now, the words made all-too-much sense, and its meaning seemed so simple. The book was nothing more than a conversation between a few Greek guys, I realized, and as I read, I realized that this was quite possibly the greatest conversation ever recorded in human history!

My attention was still scattered, so it was hard to stay focused for long periods of time, but I was able to control my thoughts a little more at this point to direct them all toward a common theme. As I read, I would occasionally become interrupted with flashbacks of memories from the class, and listening to the professor speak. I could easily remember exact things that he had said, and I now understood them in a different light. "So that's what he meant," I kept thinking, and couldn't help but wonder if the professor had taken shrooms at one point to have had such thoughts. "That guy is a freaking genius," I thought, and I couldn't believe I hadn't given his class more effort. Here he was telling me all this shit right to my face and I still didn't catch on to what he was actually saying. I realized that there was a much deeper meaning to the class than I had originally noticed. I was somewhat baffled at the time when I had received a C in the class, because I thought I was spewing back all the information he wanted. I had decided at the time that he was just a really tough grader and had exceptionally high standards (since almost nobody got A's and B's were even hard to get), but now I realized that I had not understood the class at all, and that a C was much more than a fair grade. I couldn't believe that I had even passed!

I put down the book and started to apply the concepts to my own life. Some of the questions I had started to come together. Things seemed a bit clearer now. I went back outside the shack so that I could think to myself for awhile. One of my friends came out by me for awhile. I talked to him but he mostly just seemed amused by our conversation. Maybe he was enjoying it so much because he was high. I probably was giving him a lot of stuff to think about when you're high.

Eventually, my phone was dying and I needed to go home to plug it in. I told everybody inside that I needed some cars rearranged so I could get mine out. After getting in my car again, I started to go home. I had been to the shack plenty of times before, and besides that, the roads to get there are pretty easy and straightforward. He lives out in the country so its mostly just one long, straight road, a left turn, and then another long, straight road back into town. But somewhere on the first long, straight road, my scattered thoughts had completely gotten the best of me and I completely forgot where the hell I was! I pulled over into a fireworks store parking lot to find where I had put my phone so I could call one of my friends and ask for directions back again. I knew where the fireworks place was but I was so lost that I could not remember what way to go from there. Just after I had pulled in, parked the car, and started searching for my phone, I thought, "geez I hope a police officer doesn't drive past, because he'd surely pull in here and ask me a few questions." No sooner than the thought crossed my mind, a pair of headlights came around the corner, slowed down, pulled in, and it was a cop.

"Okay," I repeated to myself, "I'm lost, and I can't find my phone. That's all. I'm lost, and I can't find my phone."

"What's up?" the police officer shouted out his window.

I took a breath and replied, "I'm lost... And I can't find my phone."

"You're lost?" he asked.

"...and I can't find my phone." I said again.

He got out of his car and I was thinking, "oh shit oh shit oh shit"

He asked me a few questions, not directly helping me in any way. This made me suspicious because I thought he was suspicious. At one point, he was asking me where my house was (very indirectly as cops do to drunk drivers to see what kind of a response they can invoke). And for some reason I couldn't figure out by his roundabout question that he was asking me the name of the city my house was in, so I kept just telling him, "I'm trying to go home!" more and more irritated every time. Finally he just asked what city I lived in, and I was like, "Ohh, why didn't you just say that?" which I think threw him off just enough to stop the charade he was going after. He eventually told me the way to go, and to my surprise, didn't follow me out of the parking lot either. I was worried that he originally didn't have enough evidence to give me a ticket and was just going to follow me out and pull me over again for something else, but he just sat in the parking lot as I drove away.

One thing about the parking lot is that it was old and cracked with lots of weeds and grass growing up through it, and I realized it was really trippy trying to see where the parking lot went back up to the road again, especially at night.

I finally made it home, and I was surprised to find my mom still awake. During my trip, I had completely forgot about the concept of time because I had been so completely encompassed in the present moment the whole time, and it hadn't even occurred to me that my mom might still be awake. She hugged me and said, "goodnight" and went to bed fairly quickly, but that could've been bad if she wanted to stay and chat for awhile. I decided to take a shower to kill some time because I knew it was safe.

The shower was crazy. I discovered that if I closed my eyes, I would see all these tiny, intricate patterns that seemed to glow with bright, neon colors behind them. I just sat there with my eyes closed in the dark shower for awhile to watch the show.

After getting out of the shower, I went into my room and decided to sit in my bed for awhile. I contemplated everything from what reality really is, to how past experiences have influenced my current mindset, to how that mindset can affect current experiences. I thought about death removed of fear, the way the English language restricts the thoughts I have, how much power your mindset has over your life (complete power, by the way), and how bad your senses are at interpreting reality (very bad). I thought about who I am, and I realized I hold on to a lot from my past, and I can honestly say that I've let a lot of that go since then. I discovered how much I love being alone with my thoughts, and that I really am like my own best friend. I don't enjoy anyone else's company more than my own, and I realized that society has shaped me to act in certain ways in certain situations, and that by being alone is the only way I can truly self-reflect and be my true "self."

Since then, I have taken 3 more philosophy courses and gotten B's and A's in them. I realized that philosophy is essentially the same thoughts I had while I was on shrooms, but the classes are a much more structured thought process than the random, scattered thoughts I was having on my trip. If you take the time to learn philosophy, it's much more gratifying. Although, when my friend was back in town again with more shrooms about a year later, I couldn't turn him down. I bought enough to trip four more times, and each of those is a story in itelf, but none of those were as good an experience as my first time.

On another positive note, my friend Alex said he thought he had started having a bad trip because he was so nervous about the whole thing going in, but he even said too that after he had gone home that night, he had thought a lot about his family life and how much they mean to him. He said that since then he hasn't fought with his parents as much, so everything has a happy ending in this story.

The end.

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