lost in a tent

i pulled up and set my tent up, it was a rooftop tent so it sits on top of the car and all you need to do it fold it out and climb up the ladder and your set. after that i sat back in my car and rolled a couple of joints more or less as a safety net incase i needed to calm down or go to sleep during the trip. i wieghed out a dose of mushrooms on some pretty shit scales, they only wieghed by the gram instead of a point of a gram, when the scales where ticking inbetween four to five grams i put the mushrooms into a sandwich and munched away. i then went about making a fire while smoking a joint.

the idea i had was to get a nice fire going and sit in front of it while tripping, soon enough the magic started kicking in and before long i realized that i had to go lie down. i climb up the ladder and into my tent and started to play some music from my ipod. getting lost in  intense visuals and odd feelings, every time i moved positions it felt like i was in a different space, whatever part of my body was under under the blanket felt like in was getting sucked into a void. i somehow manage to put jimi hendrix along the watchtower on repeat and lost my ipod somewhere inside the tent, it was fine at first but soon enough it started driving me insane, i was lost in oblivion with hearing the same thing repeat over and over again. just as i was about to give up my hand landed on my ipod and i quickly stopped the music.

after this i realized that i needed to piss but the only thing was i was completly disorientated, by the stage i was tumbling through a void fiipping upside down and around, everything was scattered and fragmented, i knew i was in no state to climb down that ladder especially with nothing more then the gloomy light of my ipod to light the way. i decided that the best thing to do was to lie as close as i could to the opening flap and and try to piss outside like that. only thing was everytime i moved i felt like i was about to fall, i couldnt do it. the only option i had left was to piss my pants, so i did. 

after this ordeal i started to think about my life, i knew it was missing something, i felt like all my friends hated me and that my family thought i was odd  and losing my way. sooner or later i decided i was going to change who i was and make myself  a better person. this thought made me so confident, happy and proud that i felt like telling the world about it, i was completly humbled and at peace with myself at this stage. but i guess good things cant last forever...

i was all of sudden overcome by and intense and overwhelming fear of death, i started to panic, i needed to throw up but i couldnt. my nose felt like it was bleeding and my mind felt like it was trapped in a world of insanity. i tried stoping the bleeding by holding my nose and trying to tie my shirt around my head. i keep on having extremly intense visuals of what i can only explain as complete and utter gore that would keep on multiplying in intensity and sharpness  until it got to the point that it felt like it could destroy everything in existence if given the chance.

so there i was a sorry sack of shit crying my eyes out wishing for someone to help me as i lay in my own filth, thinking that a had just thrown it all away for nothing, that sooner or later someone will find my rotting corpse. i felt so sorry for myself and those who woul miss me.

eventually  i started to come down and calm down, i found my ipod and put on some soothing music, sometimes id see the gore mutiply againso id hold the music closer to my ear being careful to not let myself fall into the void again.

when i woke the next day i realized that there was no blood so my nose hadnt been bleeding. i thought about the trip and realized i needed to better myself as a person before i expirimented with mushrooms again. id decided that im going to start meditating as often as possible in the hope it will help. 

sorry about any typos, im using my phone to post this and its a peice of shit....