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Azarius
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25i-nbome + MDMA at Electronic Festival

Overcoming my anxiety



Hello Shroomerites, now I'm not normally a fan of RCs but I was fairly well read about 25i-nbome prior to the experience. I felt comfortable and knowledgeable with the substance that I wasn't too worried about the outcome of tripping at an electronic festival. MDMA was added to the experience mainly to have the most positive and fun-filled journey possible with my friends. Also, this will be  very long and I'm going to try and explain in as much detail as I can.

Before I get into the experience, I want to say that the main goal of this trip was to have FUN. I am a very introverted individual with a lot of built up anxiety and tension, and had never gone to such a festival in my life. A lot of times going to parties and socializing with my friends, I'll have a good time for maybe 2 hours or so, and after that I'll be waiting to go home and do whatever I enjoy doing in my lonesome. That being said, my main goal was to loosen up, have a good time, and perhaps conquer some of my anxieties. 

So the five of us had arrived in the city and were eager to begin our adventure. I had my sister and best friend with me (they are now dating), along with two other friends whom I've known a long time. I guess you could say it was a tight-knit group of friends. We booked a hotel room for the night so we wouldn't be stranded in the city whilst frying our brains off. 

After an hour or so of making arrangements and getting ahold of our drugs, we were finally ready to begin. I went into a porta potty and ate my 25i-nbome, which was dropped into altoids. The taste was pretty awful and bitter, but I let it sit on my tongue for 10 minutes to dissolve before swallowing. Afterwards, our group entered the football stadium in which the main stage was located. The field was absolutely filled with people who were already having an amazing time. Immediately, I began to feel somewhat anxious. No particular reason, just feeling a little out of my comfort zone. I ended up chilling out in the back of the field where it was grassy and not as crowded for the first hour or so. My sister was hanging out with me while our friends acquired more of said drugs. She was ecstatic and having a great time already, where as I was feeling somewhat anxious but still enjoying myself and the music.

After 45 minutes to an hour had gone by, I realized that I wasn't feeling anything still. I decided now was the time to take the MDMA I had. Another 30 minutes later, still not feeling the effects of the 25i, I asked K for another dose. He gladly gave me another altoid, which was easily twice the size as the first and was said to be double dosed. I'm not 100% on what the actual dosage was for each altoid, but it ended up being quite nice overall. 

Almost immediately after swallowing the 2nd altoid, I looked up and saw trails of light and tracers cascading across my vision. Like a child being taken to his favorite amusement park, I knew what awaited me and extremely excited. The trip was beginning.  As everyone else had begun to come up too, we moved as group towards the center of the crowd. For the first set we watched, I mainly stood there and bobbed my head while enjoying the amazing light show and visuals from the stage. I would look up, see all the lasers in the sky and smile all giddy like. I'd look back down and much to my enjoyment, I was seeing the lasers in my vision still. The lasers expanded and twirled in my vision field while everyone danced around me. Normally, I'm not a person who enjoys dancing. I've never been able to get into as others have, always feeling awkward about it. Despite this, I began to get into a groove with the music and my friends around me. By this time, I'm sure the MDMA was hitting me as well because I was feeling extremely elated and very good about everything around me. Looking towards the bleachers around the sides of the stadiums, I could see people walking/sitting and enjoying the show like us. Their bodies in the distance would twirl like ocean waves as they walked. Eventually, the group wanted to get out of the crowd and enjoy other parts of the festival.

We leave the crowd, and it was at this point that I realized how entirely FUCKED up I am. Things were starting to get very confusing. I remember feeling hungry, not appetite wise, but like my body needed food. For some reason, the first thing I thought was "Nachos!" because I saw a food stand. I had our friend J order for me because I knew I was not coherent enough to order food. He is rolling to at this point and excitedly asks them "Do you guys have Nachos!?" And there are a good 10 or so people behind the counter all looking very very concerned. Turns out all they sold was water, some random beverages, and popcorn... so I'm like whatever, get me popcorn. I gave J the money and he hands me back the food and 2 quarters. When he handed me the quarters, I was awestruck by them. J had handed me 2 quarters earlier in the day when we were sober, and we had gone through much trouble getting to the event losing items and forgetting things. So of ALL things I that lost and found during the day, these 2 quarters had come back to me. I was so amazed by these quarters for no apparent reason, and felt as if I was meant to have them and keep them as a souvenir. 

Things were still becoming more and more intense from the 25i as I had taken a dose double to my first dose. Once again, I began to feel very confused. Things just didn't seem to make sense to me. I didn't understand where we were going or why we were going there. Being afraid that I might have taken too much, and being reminded of past difficult trips, I was understandably scared. How far is this trip taking me, I wondered. The visuals were becoming very strong at this point, light beams projecting across the sky while swirling with color and dancing in between each beam. My skin looked like rippling waves, my arm hairs swaying and rising upwards. With eyes closed, I could see geometric patterns strobing through my vision field. It all seemed very foreign to me and I wasn't sure what to make of it.

While the group is at a merch stand, I sit down and keep stuffing my face with popcorn and drinking water. After finishing maybe 1/10 of the bag, I spill it on the floor and care nothing of it. I stand up, spill all the water I had, not realizing the cap wasn't on and go to my friends. "Here", my sister says, and hands me a hoodie that she had just bought. Apparently it was freezing and everyone else was had a jacket or hoodie but I was in my t-shirt. I knew something felt strange but wasn't sure what it was. After putting on the hoodie, I started to feel much warmer and better. My body high grew immensely and everything just felt extremely soothing. 

While walking back to the main stage, me and K linked arms together. He told me about his past trips and how you can conquer anything, and that no matter how intense things may seem, you have the power to overcome it and make it a positive experience. My arm linked to his (no homo), felt extremely good. I felt so connected with my friends that I started to feel much better. 

We go back to the main stage to enjoy the rest of the show, and at this point I am EXTREMELY happy. I felt free of all anxieties like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This is when I really began to enjoy myself. I started dancing with not a care in the world, put my hands in the air, and jumped like a madman. Why don't I ever dance? What could possibly go wrong from dancing and enjoying myself? Nothing. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you when you are doing exactly what you want to do. I realized that if I want to do something, nothing can stop me. Whenever I have doubts about myself, shove it aside and do what I want to do. Nothing can hold me back because I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I could sense that my sister and K were ecstatic with my progress through the night. Earlier on, I could tell they were worried about me, and really wanted me to have a good time. I felt like I got over myself and just enjoyed the experience for what it was.

After the event ended, we walked about a mile or two back to the hotel which was a hell of an adventure. A group of motorcyclists drove by, and we're still so ecstatic that we threw up our fists and shouted "
WOOOOOOOO!!!!!" at the top of our lungs. The gang responds by revving their engines and going nuts. This was extremely satisfying because we realized what just happened while we're all tripping. Like... what the hell? Haha, meanwhile there's a good 50-100 people on the path behind us all shouting and yelling too. I felt the energy of the crowd like we were all connected in some way. We take pictures as a group with every little thing that looks cool to us, which the people walking by seemed to find amusing. There was a fountain with some sort of oscillating ball on top of it, emitting water... it's hard to explain but I thought it was just a statue ball... or something, so I fricken hug it and smile with a grin twice the size of my face, or so I thought. Little did I know that this ball was actually a fountain, and I stopped it from moving so it began overflowing all over the place. I didn't care, I was the happiest man in the world. Once I realized that water was spilling everywhere, I burst out in a fit of laughter. Everything is hilarious to me, and I'm still soaking into my brain what had just happened. It's a good thing K knew where we were going because at that point, any hotel was our hotel. I even started following random people thinking that it was my friends. This shows how hard I was still tripping. Luckily someone came back and got me. 

Before getting back to the hotel, there was bridge we had to cross. Halfway through, my sister and I decide to take a picture. I hugged her with all the love in my heart and soul, almost bursting out in tears. Until this point, I have never realized how much I truly care about my sister, friends, and family. Every relationship I have is now extremely important. My sister sends the picture to our mother and she says it's our best photo taken together to date... if only she knew what we were really up to, haha.

So FINALLY, we are back at the hotel and the room is extremely pleasing. I won the race to the shower and once inside, I realized that I was still tripping very hard. Music from the show was looping through my brain and combining with the sounds of water, all swirling together and going down the drain. Under closed eyelids, I was seeing a slideshow if imagery, mostly people dancing. As each image went to the next, I would see people dancing with very distinct faces. Their expressions and antics would be vastly different with each image. This was too weird for me, I had to get out. So I dry myself off and go enjoy the party happening in the room.

Much to my surprise, my sister and K had acquired some LSD! Now, if it was earlier, I would 100% taken some but I was entirely too mind warped to get trippy on a whole 'nother level. I take out my 1 remaining MDMA pill and give it to K saying "yeahhh I don't really need this here you go." He takes it on the spot. My logic was, welp they just took LSD... better keep him up for the night to entertain my sister. 

While they come up and everyone else is still tripping/rolling, we decide to go on adventures in the hallways/elevators. In retrospect, this was a pretty stupid idea but luckily there were no cameras and no one bothered us. We would run and skip through the hallways having the time of our lives, enjoying every second and every breath we took. With each different group that left the room, I felt like each trip was a trip within itself. The members who stayed in the room or left to walk seemed to have entirely different atmospheres. I could connect with each person on an individual level. The carpet of the hallways were already psychedelic looking, but I was entranced. K and I sat down in the hall and talked while everyone else explored. Still, I was staring at the carpet and watching the patterns crawl all over my legs and merge with my hands. It seemed like only 10 minutes had passed until our friends came back and said they'd been gone for about 45 minutes. 

I'll leave out some other adventures from the hotel room as this is getting quite long, but later on... my sister, myself, and K (who are on LSD) take a trip the beach which was about 1 mile away while the sun was rising. First of all, the visuals of skyscrapers, grass, and clouds looked amazing. Everything felt perfect to me. The 3 of us sit down by the beach and watch as the sun rises over the ocean. I wasn't tripping nearly as hard as M and K at this point, but the visuals I was experiencing from the sunrise were jaw dropping. Rays of light swirled with the clouds and warmed my soul. I thought about the actual size of the sun and how it is millions of miles away but yet warms this Earth and provides for life. It was truly a humbling experience.

Eventually, we decided to go back and try to rest up a bit before getting on the train and heading back home. M and K were still tripping by the time we got home, so we pretty much just smoked a lot of bud for the comedown. I had an amazing body high that lasted with me for a long while until I could fall asleep later that day.

Overall, the blend of 25i and MDMA was quite nice. The trip gave some astounding visuals while the MDMA allowed me to conquer anxieties and really push myself to not be held back while still connecting and enjoying the company of my friends. 

I feel very satisfied from this and don't think I'll be doing any RCs or MDMA for a long time as there is no need. Hope you enjoyed the report :)




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