It all started when I was around 16, pharmaceuticals like opiates, benzos , and some amphetamines. I was said to have an all or nothing part of my character,(which is good in some aspects of life, but not for recreational use of pharmaceuticals) and to have addictive behavior. I was labeled as an addict. I was brain fed in facilities about having a disease(addiction) and not being wired correctly. A couple years back when I was 17 and had been sober from everything for a while, I came to realize my deep discontent with being a drug addict who can't properly handle many of life's circumstances. So, I "relapsed, " but not on anything I had ever done before. I used dextromethorphan for the first time. At the time when I first used the drug, I was nearly emotionless, I had very little conscience, and morality was dwindling, but when I used dxm I "felt," for the first time in a while. It was like an awakening. I realized how wrong many of my actions had been, and realized that I didn't have a disease. I had simply been a morally deficient little asshole who didn't care about himself or others, and who was really bad at prioritizing. I cried for hours it seemed like when the effects of the dxm hit me. It aided me in becoming a better person, and in "growing the fuck up." I continued using it for about a year and a half occasionally. Although I no longer use it, dxm will always have a special place in my heart.