Life since this trip has literally never been the same. Not like HPPD or w/e bs that is. I mean the way I think and interpret reality has become somewhat unexplainable. This trip was unexplainable when it happened. It took me three years to integrate it. This is what happened. I remember it in somewhat vivid detail..because you will not forget something like that. I feel I'm in a good place. Psychedelics helped the motivation to better myself in everything I do really helped me become comfortable and confident with the life I have chosen (help as much as possible, be kind to every thing and everyone)...
I'm so grateful for being here with everyone, everyone, underneath all the bs of even the seeming "douchebags" or "assholes", can be a younique person waiting to be shown.
"your really lovely..underneath it all" as Gwen Stefani said. lol
..recently I have been dabbing dank hash oil, which has helped me become more zen with the following experience, thus able to write about it better. This trip happened three years ago, and I still get into the same exact mind frame I describe to this day, depending on various things coming together and/or abstract thought. Not so scary anymore, more amazing and very very interesting and cool. Still scary at times, which is cool, because often times it becomes a joke now. Just keep rising above, live and love, and save the wave to keep on surfing. Anyways, I apologize for the long introduction, its a trip long integrated. This trip report has been thought about for three years before I was able to go from "what the shit happened to me." to "This is what happened."
. Basically I consumed what was given to me as two hits of acid on an altoid. My homegirl was the one who dropped the cid and she basically soaked the second hit and gave it to me with a wink. It hit me pretty fast. I was euphoric, laughing with my friends. At one point, chilling on the bed, I saw visuals like I had never seen before on multiple trips of shrooms (shrooms are dank too), shadows from objects moving up spiraling everything moving around at a very high speed.
Like how a fire would be, but its opposite, the shadow fire as I was calling it lol. It was then I realized, probably only forty minutes in, that I was in for the biggest trip of my life. I became infatuated with the visuals and I began to notice how they were connecting with reality. Every visual had a connection that I had never seen before because..it wasn't visualized before I guess? haha anyways, my friends wanted to go to a club but I honestly was way entirely to blitzed to be going anywhere. I remember I felt like I was in a time loop of deciding whether to go or to stay. We went from outside, to inside, to outside, to inside. Eventually after this time-loop I felt like I was in a place that was somewhat familiar(completly freaked out before..but thats another story.)...And found my way out
I was picking up on some kind of deeper intelligence communicating. I remember having the feeling of not knowing what to do or if I was going crazy or how to stop being aware of it so I could just enjoy my trip with my friends. Yet the more I thought about it, and the situations at hand I realized something was most definitely communicating with me through every event in my reality. It was communicating with telepathy and synchronicity. It was undeniable, and I was left with a feeling of confused awe in a reality almost completely unfamiliar to me, because all of a sudden my reality was aware. I became almost terrified, but I remembered to not believe it all the way, considering I was on a acid, but resistance was futile at times which caused very interesting events on the lucy. I felt I was facing God, because what else could this intelligence be?
I went from being social to trying to be social to observing. I got a weird vibe from my friends, probably from the wide-eyed mind blown look I had on my face that I must have had after understanding this intelligence's language through synchronicity. so I told them I was going to stay behind I was tripping to hard for a club.
next thing I know I am in my friends room and the visuals begin to look like galaxies spinning through the air..the longer I looked at one, the closer and more detailed it became...
So I decided to look at one for as long as I could and see what happened. I eventually tranced out doing this, as the entire room became the galaxy, my awareness of body, gone. I merely became an observer who had forgotten he even had a body, floating through space, getting closer towards this spiraling galaxy...Eventually I heard audio sounds in a repeating pattern...a frequency is the only way I can describe it, wobbling and changing pitch. I recognized it as the intelligence that I had heard earlier, or a form of it at least. And instantly I was shot forwards to earth, heard the frequency change, and a split second later I was traveling a long towards the galactic center.
The frequency seemed to be communicating some sort of 'knowing' towards my knowing as we traveled a long, the visuals and the pitch would change as I moved a long, and it seemed to represent classes of civilizations along the milky way. There was a knowing to this. As we got to older, more energetic star systems (population density of stars increasing), I felt communicated with older intelligences, telepathically introducing themselves with audio/visual representations in my field of vision. An evolution in pitch and frequency and visual representation as I moved a long the spiraling galaxy to represent higher evolved civilizations.
Evolution is understood, carries a bad vibe though, imo if you think of it as "survival of the fittest". More like "reaching a common goal", is evolution I think. Experienced is better imo. They are simply more experienced than us, we are all conscious brethren, aware of our universe which is aware of us because it is the universe, and we are all moving a long this path that these older civilizations have followed..super grateful to be here and now, and whenever wherever.
I eventually hit the event-horizon of our blackhole, and everything goes dark..the audibles, the visuals the everything..next thing I see just this light appear..and it splits into two lights..and than..it kind of seemed like the birth of the universe. I than saw everything that happened before me as this light (i see this as consciousness now) continued to become everything..I went from a molecule to plant to..just everything even different humans I think..I it all eventually lead back to me sitting on a bed staring at a reflection that used to be a galaxy. Everything in the universe was one consciousness split up infinitely to explore itself more, yet here I am doing this? Mind-blown back in the room, wondering how much time had passed, if there was such a thing, and thinking "Why am I on planet earth?"..I remember thinking I was this consciousness but I also my own, and at times I was trying more to own it myself, and would forget that we are all this one consciousness. It was tough to maintain this, which caused some problems lol, but ultimately I learned and became more comfortable in the unknown thanks to this..
At that exact moment of coming back to the room I was in, my friends show up from clubbing.
my chick friend A gives me a hug (I am sitting on her bed as she comes in) I feel extremely attracted to her for a moment and I almost kissed her before remembering that she was a lesbian..she wants to sleep and for me to sleep next with her (looking back I probably could have smashed despite her being a proclaimed lesbian, but I remembered this and was instantly terrified to lay down, as I was not tired at all.
I felt like I was going down, disappearing, back into that black hole and it scared me this time so I stuck out my hand for help(while still hugging A hahaha), to which my friend Jon grabbed my hand and saved me. I remembered my name and my body and that I was this thing that had split up so long ago again, very mind-blown, and scared.
my christian conditioning came in and, as I interpreted the split to be male and female, I called my friend A, the ultimate sinner(I really didn't mean it in a bad way) she didn't give me a chance to say I was too, because we represent the split..She just got angry and kicked me out lol. Also I was in no condition to really explain this to her I always thought it was understood or something. Anyways.
So I begin my trek around my college campus at 2:00 am; with my friend Jon..whom is also tripping and seems to understand what I just went through. At this point in the trip the intelligence I picked up on before was beyond making itself known now. I was absolutely terrified because I could not let go, but the curiosity and my remaining safe promped me to talk to jon about it as if it were very obvious. He responded as if it was obvious as well. my friend Jon began speaking directly for this intelligence in a way that would not be as terrifying, and soon I noticed I was even doing it too on accident. A guide so to speak..
the intelligent reality was reading and reacting to my vibes. responding with synchronicity events and coded languange. sort of like instant karma or something, but ultimately I felt this guidance. This trying to "get" something that I will eventually understand better, and something out there is intelligently guiding me a long, and this was represented even in the synchronistic events. I felt like a noob, everything new. I still do, but I'm more comfortable about it lol.
I was facing Scary unknowns, it felt it all personal, which it was...but i believe it was a sudden awareness of fractal information, stemming from some universal source in all of us, that becomes aware to the extent we are aware of it. (which I did not realize until recently) When my ego would take over and it would just..get completely crushed over and over again haha and this crushing would make me feel seperated causing suffering..so on and so forth. so nooby back than...I realize now I was just becoming aware of a learning of information already present at all times, and the information just scared me and I refused to acknowledge a lot of it or look at only certain parts.
I realize there were people used to this, and I felt I had so much to learn. It was real. More real than regular day anything, because it was/is regular day anything and everything. I recognize this intelligence at work all the time, and thats how I realized how real the information was that I first came into contact with during that trip is, because it persists. Its just an awareness I've been getting used too.
I think this is a Loving Intelligence, and wants us to love ultimately, it reflects the bad to teach what not to think or do. I think this intelligence is showing me how to love. How to become more loving and accepting and kind. Every event in my life..sometimes I feel like I understand. Am proved wrong, and than go back and feel atleast a better understanding of events later on... Very often I do not understand at first..but somehow things happen and it all comes together.
Anyways. This is my first trip report ever, and the trip opened my awareness to some kind of benevolent intelligence behind things. This is an ongoing awareness.
One love and I hope you enjoyed my trip report. A salaam a lakim.