Before I start, I am not 'religious' in the traditional sense of the word, but I am a strong follower of Christ and have been for my entire life. I do not go to church because I believe a lot of what western Churches do is useless tradition that hinders spiritual growth. I am the only Christian I know who has ever tried psilocybin whilst in a relationship with god; so from a Christian perspective, this is all new to me. The main reason I am writing this is to let other Christians know that my experience with psilocybin was a purely positive one. It was not evil or demonic like I had been told, but it was rather an eye opening educational experience which has had a positive impact on my relationship with god and others.
About a month ago, me and my friends spontaneously decided to pick up some psilocybin from the drug capital of my country. We literally picked up 10 grams of shrooms within the first 5 minutes of arriving at the town.
A friend of mine tried them the night we got home, but they didn't work (we later discovered that he was immune to psilocybin). I was tired from the 6 hour driving trip so I got some sleep and tried them at about 2pm the next day. Because my friend tried them earlier and they didn't work, I thought we bought fake shrooms. But they were fifty bucks so I didn't want to waste them even if there was only a minuscule possibility that they would work. I ended up mixing about 3 grams of powdered shrooms with honey. It wasn't that hard to eat - but it was still like mixing dirt with honey. It made me feel a little nausea after about 10 minutes into it. At this point i was not expecting anything to happen, as a friend of mine kept telling me that there was no chance that it would work.
After about 20 minutes of sitting in the loungeroom, my upset stomach started to become something different. It became more of an entire body feeling rather than just the stomach. Realizing that something fishy was going on, i let my friends know what I was feeling because they were in complete doubt about the whole thing.
I ended up drinking some water which made me feel better.
After about 30 minutes, I got up to go take a leak and my head was a bit dizzy and my body felt weak. As I sat on the toilet I experienced my first visual. I was looking around the bathroom to test whether the shrooms were working, and the walls suddenly became slightly distorted. At this point I definitely knew that I hat taken real shrooms, and I also became aware that I had eaten quite a lot. I originally only wanted to try a little bit in case things went wrong, but I knew there was no going back now. As I exited the bathroom I looked down and there were ants crawling horizontally across the floor - everywhere. However, the ants weren't scary or anything, just exciting because it was my first real hallucination. Things only become scary if you let them. I entered the trip with a completely positive attitude, so I think that's why it was a great trip.
I sat down in the lounge room with my friends, and as I looked at the television it suddenly grew 30% in size. I started seeing ants on the coffee table instead of the smoked ash that was actually there. I knew it was ash because I had seen it previously, but it was extremely cool being able to put my face inches away and still be able to see the ants. It was quite vivid. Needless to say, I was ecstatic that it was working.
At this point my heart was racing. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins because it was like being in a different universe for the first time. I think one of the main reasons there was so much adrenaline was because I didn't expect it to work, and I was suddenly thrown into vivid hallucinations within a period of 5 minutes.
The trees outside moved in the wind, casting sun shadows through onto the walls inside. Each time the trees would move the shadow, the walls would change colors. At this point my the nausea was gone and my body felt fine.
This was really cool so I sat there for a few minutes, observing the visuals whilst trying to calm my heart rate.
My friends decided to put on some happy electronic music to see how i felt. It seemed like the music was playing inside my body. It was possibly one of the most exillarating moments of my life. At one point it was so beautiful I was almost crying. I felt the need to profusely thank my friend for choosing the song because it was so amazing.
For the next 30 minutes or so, I just felt the need to go look at things because they would be so different to anything I saw before. Here are a few things that I found to be the coolest visuals:
- The pizza box had a picture of a tomato on it which seemed very holographic. Similar to what you'd find in a children s book. The red color of the tomato was vividly red. It's kind of impossible to convey this as its like explaining color to a blind person.
- Some Space wallpapers I found on the internet were three dimensional. The colors were ultra vivid. I organized a bunch of wallpapers into a PowerPoint prior to taking shrooms. Even though the PowerPoint repeated, I felt as if each image was completely new.
- The app buttons on my friend's iphone were crystal clear and also hovering about a centimeter above the phone. I could see each pixel individually. I spent a good 3 minutes just staring at the phone, appreciating the artwork, technology.
- I stood at the back door and watched outside for a few minutes. This gave me a profound appreciation of nature. The trees and the sun were like something I imagine heaven to be like. The sun was so warm and surreal. The tree's moved with the wind, forming different shapes. At one point I saw the faces of mount Rushmore in the trees. I stood there until another face formed in the leaves. This time it was staring at me like it was a sentient tree. A little bit scared, I went back inside and put it out of my mind. I think that if you are going to take shrooms, you should definitely practice the ability to think positively because you will probably need that skill to avoid having a bad trip.
- I tried watching Winamp audio visualizers to see if they had any effect. To my surprise, they didn't actually work that well for me. Although when I paused the visualizer, the colors still continued to change.
Now, the hallucinations were cool and all, but they definitely were not the highlight of my trip, and I learned this pretty quickly after the first 30 minutes.
I started thinking introspectively. I sat down at my PC and decided to write things that I internally learned during the trip.
As I stared at the PC desktop, the folders and words started climbing all over the screen. Somehow I was able to mentally stop this from happening, and I proceeded to write what came to my mind.
I think the most valuable thing psilocybin gave me was the ability to objectively analyse myself. This is something I always try to do as it leads to self improvement, but on shrooms it is entirely different. It was like a veil had been lifted and I could see myself for what I actually was. I saw many good things and many bad things. I realized that I have sometimes acted like a dick in the past but was unable to see it until now. However, I was also able to see that my character was genuinely good and that one of the best things about myself is the constant desire to become a better person.
I ended up writing about 2700 words of bullet point info.
I learned things about my family relationships, god, art, morality, philosophy. I even learned small things such as what I was doing wrong with my acne treatment. I realized that psilocybin was much more of an educational drug than a recreational one.
My entire life I had been told that psychoactive drugs are evil - they cause you to become insane, do reckless things and are demonic. However, I experienced the complete opposite. The surprising thing is that I didn't expect this to be so. I was unsure what psilocybin would give me - whether it would be good or bad. I hoped that it would be good but to be honest, I thought they would be bad and that I would learn from negative reinforcement not to do them again.
Anyway, here are some of the things I wrote whilst tripping:
"Like everything, Psilocybin is a tool.
It can be used to sharpen a person or it can be used to destroy.
Thats the best way I can explain it. Thats why I think prohibition of it is a good thing in regards to keeping it off the streets.
However, the ban of it in medical practice is ridiculous. The potential of this to get people out of depression is mind blowing.
This is a life changing tool."
"It's like this whole construct of "drugs are bad" has been broken down for what it is.
Is a way to protect people from abusing drugs - but when not being used for bad, they can be used for good.
This has taught me so much in so little time."
"I cannot stress how much this day has changed in expectations. I feel at peace.
I have been offered the world on a platter like a gift.
I have opportunities that are only limited to the physics of this world, and I realize that now."
"Whether the art is digital, traditional or audial. I appreciate both the effort made to create the art piece, and I also appreciate the complexity and freedom we have been given to create art. Its like analyzing the interpretation of the art and the complexity of the canvas in which it was built upon."
"Its so simple. Life is not a job assigned by God to do a hard task and then get no compensation. I had this mindset my whole life about brownie points etc.
I occasionally lifted the mindset but most of my life it was still there.
Now it is completely lifted and I see it for what it is."
"This is not a recreational activity.
This is a mind opening activity."
The amount of information I learned during the trip exceeded my expectations by a long run. Initially, I took it for recreational/ curiosity purposes, but I came out of it with a purely educational mindset. The trip only lasted for 2 hours but it felt like two days. The amount of important life-changing information I learned during the two hour period was probably more than I have learned in the past year.
After I got tired of writing, I decided to take a shower, as I've read many reports that say showers whilst tripping can be amazing. It exceeded my expectations.
The warmth of the water was like nothing I have ever felt before. The hallucinogenic visuals also doubled whilst in the shower. I looked at the ceiling and suddenly I became very small, like the "Alice in wonderland" effect. The ceiling looked like it was 10 meters up.
I looked down and all the water droplets on the floor were jiggling and dancing organically. I looked at the wall of the shower and suddenly I felt as if I was staring through a microscope. All I could see in my entire vision was the intricate details of the wall, magnified immensely.
After the shower I continued to write a bit more, and the trip slowly faded away.
Because its such an amazing experience, coming back to the real world can make you feel depressed for about an hour or two. It is completely irrational and I knew it at the time, which helped a bit. I think it has something to do with how psilocybin plays with your serotonin levels. My friends wanted to chill with me and play poker, so I sat on the couch for a bit before realizing that this isn't the best environment to be in during a come-down. I was so tired from all the adrenaline so I decided to go to bed. The depression completely lifted after about 2 hours. If you come down from a trip, I think its best to be alone to contemplate what you have learned. Apparently smoking marijuana after a trip allows you to avoid the depression, so I might try that if I ever do this again. By the way, when I use the word "depression" I'm not really meaning actual sadness, because I wasn't sad. It was just like feeling the symptoms of real depression (I have been depressed in the past), but they are temporary. I have not been depressed since; in fact the joy and peace in my life feels like it has doubled. Although there is a 'come-down' side effect, it was completely worth it and I have no regrets.
Anyway, I'll give a few tips to those who are interested in taking shrooms.
1.) If your life is unsettled or you have a negative mindset, avoid shrooms at all costs. For the best experience, you need to have a positive mindset. You need to already be at peace with life, otherwise you risk having a bad trip. Even I got scared by certain music at some points during my trip, and I thought I was a pretty positive person. Now I am even more so.
2.) Despite a lot of propaganda when I took shrooms I was in complete control. I didn't feel like my character changed at all, but instead my environment changed. My theistic and moral beliefs did not change whatsoever. In fact I felt like they were enhanced. My newfound appreciation in nature, life, people and god made me feel the need to praise the creator of the universe for everything he has given me. I felt like I needed to make the most of the trip rather than abuse it for recreational pleasure. I spent a lot of time researching christian experiences with shrooms before trying shrooms. Unfortunately I haven't found any good information worth sharing, so that's one of the reasons why I'm sharing this now. As a Christian, my experience with shrooms was complete opposite to everything I had been told. I am fully persuaded by my experience that shrooms were designed by god for medical purposes. With a therapeutic index of 641, this is hard to argue with. Even now, psilocybin is being used in experimental anti-depression treatment.
3.)The excitement of shrooms will pump your body full of adrenaline. Time distortion is heavy - Two hours felt like two days, both physically and mentally. Only take it when you are not tired and are reasonably healthy.
4.) Be in a positive environment. I think the best environment would be out in the bush, camping with friends. When you are surrounded by nature, it's like staring into the face of god. You see and appreciate the beauty of creation for what it actually is. There is just something about nature that defies explanation. It's aesthetic ecstasy.
5.) Expect the unexpected. Everyone's experience is different, and the effects of psilocybin can vary from person to person. So when you take some, don't expect anything. You might get a low trip, you might get a high one. I read on these forums that some dude took 2.5 grams and had a interdimensional, full blown hallucination. So preparation is key.