This is a reflection of an experience I had with two good friends of mine on Thursday, June 26th. I will most likely not forget it any time soon.
Several weeks ago my friends M and E as well as myself had decided we should plan an MDMA session, only this time make things a bit more interesting. An MX-Missile seemed appropriate after research was done by all three of us. E had done MDMA approximately 3 or 4 times, M had done it about 5 times, and myself around 10 times. We all had great experiences with it. As for mushrooms, I was the least experienced (having done them once last Christmas, with no real effects). After deciding on a time and place, we waited until the Thursday. By this time we had accquired one pill each, but no luck finding any mushrooms. All three of us dosed ours with a glass of water at 7pm, and went out to meet some people on our bikes.
I will spare you the details of the MDMA experience, and just let you know it was one of the smoother rolls I've had. If you yourself enjoy using it I suggest you try riding a bicycle while peaking if you haven't already, it's simply amazing. Enough said.
By about 11:00pm all three of us were back at M's place and the MDMA had almost completely worn off, with the exception of a minor body buzz. E had remembered a mushroom connection he'd made earlier that day, and we decided maybe it was worth a try after all, even though the MDMA was just barely lingering. The call was made.
We invited a female friend, L, over to smoke some cannabis with us. She arrived soon after and we sat outside on M's deck with a bong. After smoking about 2 bowls our mushrooms had been delivered, roughly a half ounce (it was somewhat small, keep in mind) of what I believe were psilocybe cubensis. The mushrooms were immediately split 3 ways, and we each ended up with about 3.5 grams (not 4.5 grams as intended, as I said the half ounce was obviously not full). Each pile had about 3-5 fat stems and a bunch of small brown caps, a medium sized handful. I began to chew my mushrooms around 11:45pm, and did not swallow them until midnight. My trip was about to begin, little did I realize.
I waited to come up and decided not to smoke anymore cannabis, as the edge would most likely be taken off with the bowls I'd already done. M and E both finished their mushrooms off about 10 minutes later then I did, which made all the difference. At approximately 12:30am exactly, I was relaxing on the deck watching my friends talk and smoke. I knew the effects would hit me soon but I figured I would feel a physical change first when coming up, instead of visuals. This was not the case - I suddenly was gawking at M's yard. We were all sitting on wicker chairs and benches, and to my left was a small garden in M's yard. There was a very obvious movement with the flowers, as they curved around and swayed/danced with no apparent wind. The colors were more rich and vibrant, almost pastel looking. The other 3 took notice of my gawking, and tried talking to me. I explained (while communication was still possible) that I had come up and was having visuals. I noticed the wooden deck had what appeared to be a shadow, maybe even a reflection off water, that was swimming around in a amoebic type shape. M lit what was perhaps his fourth bowl, and suddenly (while watching his arm flick the lighter), his skin turned pastel and appeared to be animated. As he sucked in the smoke from the chamber his eyes appeared to pulsate and his pupils dilate. Across from me was sitting L, who had not taken any mushrooms. I stared at her face, which morphed around and appeared to glow greenish, and watched the wooden railing behind her. It was very strange looking. Then I looked at the tray the mushrooms had been sitting on (which had nothing on it anymore besides small crumbs). The tray had a red looking building with balconies and what seemed to be maybe a mid 1900s theme. The small pieces of mushrooms began to move around, subtle at first, but then it was very clear. The building on the backdrop seemed clearer than ever, and seemed to be 3D as it pulled closer to my face.
We sat outside until about 12:50am, and L had to go home. E and M were coming up on their mushrooms now, and M's brother took all of us into his car to take L home. The car ride I do not fully remember, at this point I could not see well or understand anything. However, I can assure you the road appeared very alien at night and the lights brighter and starry looking more than ever before.
About 1am, we were back at M's pad. We went into his computer room, a dark little room with several chairs and a couch. I immediately collapsed on the couch and watched E and M fool around with the computer. They were talking but I could not understand a single thing they were saying, it literally sounded like gibberish (although it was clear they were understanding eachother). It was hard to find words to describe what each of us were feeling.
Collectively all of us decided (at maybe 1:15am) that we should go out for a walk in the woods and by the water. I put on my sandals and stood up, my peripheral vision had little dots in the background, and everything spun around me. I could not even tell where my sandals were (on my feet), and took them off and placed them in a misc location in the house. I was in a state of confusion and had to get help finding them and putting them back on. We went out M's back door and left his deck (where we'd previously been).
Wow. We walked through his neighbours yard and down to the road, which had lots of plantlife on the right side and water to our left. It was pitch black and there were no cars around. Walking was strange, none of us could tell where we were going or how fast we were walking. We stumbled around for what seemed like forever until we reached the rocky waterfront of the beach. We sat on the rocks and watched the water splash along the shoreline. I was very paranoid at this point and could not see straight. Lights on the lake (boats, maybe) skidded around and flashed randomly, disappearing. I felt lost although only several hundred feet from M's house. M and E, however, were in control for the most part (except communication-wise). We could no longer talk to eachother at this point, besides using simple sentences and words like "fuck", "woah", and "ohmygod!". Things were pretty crazy. I noticed while near the water there was plenty of tall grass, and I never actually grabbed any. But when I closed my palms and touched my fingers together there was a strange sensation of the grass going through my fingers and rubbing along the opposite side. The physical effects at this point were numbness...and I also felt like I was melting. It was kind of scary but I knew it was just the drugs, so I went with the flow. I began to experience what I assume was minor ego loss...I no longer talked to my friends, just listened. I didn't think I was a thinking breathing human being with wants or needs. I was nothing (this is not so much with a negative connotation, it's the only way I can explain it). I was no longer myself or anything for that matter. My emotions were confused and I constantly thought I was either melting, not breathing, or shitting myself and not realizing it. However there was no panicking.
We headed back along the dark road to M's house, walking past houses and such. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" we all seemed to scream at once as we went past a house with a really bright porch light. It was PITCH BLACK all around except for the light, which was VERY eerie looking and the insides of the house shown looked so alien and crazy. I remember hearing a strange sound loop all night, not so much a beat but a strange noise like from a horror movie that I kept hearing in my head. Trees and bushes along the road looked pointy and odd, like I'd never seen them before but they were familiar from long long ago. Anything from earlier that day seemed to have been years ago, and time was no longer important. Ten minutes could have been 3 hours for all we knew or cared.
We got back after the walk which seemed even longer than before, perhaps hours. I only realized this later on though. We sat on a couch in front of M's TV, and turned it on. Television seemed so stupid, the people looked alien and ridiculous, and we all felt insignificant as humans. I realized over the night how simple things are and how small we are in comparison to the universe, and found it humourous. We turned it off and went back to the computer room. Before going in I made a stop to the bathroom, where I looked in the mirror. My pupils were larger than I've ever had them, even on high doses of MDMA, and they appeared to take up my whole eye. My skin looked pale and dirty, and my eyes all black. My hair was sweaty and crazy, I looked like a madman. I watched my hands and face and went to join the other two in the computer room.
M put on some music and I could not distinguish sounds for the life of me. It was what I believe to be rap...I could recognize and beat but the vocals sounded scratchy and like an old woman. Kazaa was open on the screen and I couldn't see the song names, they were all crunching and stretching on the screen. I sat down in front of the keyboard and attempted to talk to some friends via MSN messenger, but the keys all looked the same and the conversations looked like I was the only person talking. Books on the shelf beside me looked curved and broken, everything looked alien or weird in some way I can't explain.
More hours went by and nothing much more significant took place. Still plenty of visuals...I remember earlier in the night I closed my eyes at one point and it was as if I could still see, like it made no difference. When all of us quit talking or complete silence filled the air, it made things more tense and the trip simply propelled. I had shapes and images as closed eye visuals but forgot to pursue them anymore, so I didn't close my eyes much more over the duration of the night.
Around 5 AM we were able to communicate but could not sleep. Our pupils were still massive and there was visual and audio distortion, and we decided it was time to pack it in. M went up to his room at about 5:30am and successfully went to sleep, whereas E and myself sat on the couch talking and reflecting on the trip. It was still pitch black out and out of nowhere things seemed to wake up outside the windows, the trees began to sway and the sky turned a pale green. We went our separate ways at 6AM and he joined M in his room on a couch, and I slept on the futon downstairs. I fell asleep immediately.
The next morning we all met eachother around 11am and reflected on our trip. I must say over the night I had a great time, even with the scary or uncomfortable parts. It had been worth it and I felt enlightened. The only downside is that since we were coming down on the MDMA, M had a crash and almost propelled him into a bad trip as we went up on the mushrooms. But all in all I had been with great friends in a comfortable setting, so it was a definite positive experience.
I'm looking forward to more experiences with mushrooms and trying new things with them. Moderation will be used and we will respect the power they hold.
Take it easy people