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Fields Of Ketamine
I thought I'd start with my first experience with a hallucinogen, as it is the first (and probably the most life changing) of many life changing experiences I've had whilst experimenting with drugs in my life so far.
So basically me and a few friends (most of whom had already tried Ketamine before) went to our mate's house after each buying half a g. One of the people there suggested we snort the whole half g in one line; I had never used Ketamine before or snorted anything in fact before that night so I didn't know quite how extreme this was, so I agreed.
We sat in his front room all crowded round in a circle and watched as the K was ground down to a finer powder and cut into what I now know to be huge lines on the back of a DVD case. The case was passed round and we all in turn snorted our lines, I remember how painful it was to snort such a large amount especially for a first timer. Shortly after the inside of my nose began to feel as if it was pulsing, this then spread throughout my entire face as a ripple similar to a stone being dropped in water as my vision began to zoom in and out slightly. Someone put a song on the x-box 360, turned off the lights and put the psychedelic music visualisation on full screen on the TV, the floor began to rock under my chair as if I was sat in the middle of a see-saw and I began to get sucked into the tunnel-like image on the screen.
I was pulled into the screen and the world around me instantly dissolved, I was flying through an endless tunnel of colours, I looked up, down and all around me and all I could see were bright colours of all shades rushing past. I then got the sense the tunnel was going downhill and I was increasing in speed as I hurtled along. I could see ahead that the tunnel was coming to an end; it came closer and closer until I was spat out and back into the room with all my friends. I had a brief moment of lucidity where I remembered where I was, realised I was sat down and looked around at who was with me. Everything and everyone was a shade of green, 2D and appeared as a cartoon or drawing consisting of only vertical and horizontal lines. One of my friends said something to me, but all I could hear was a noise similar to static from an untuned TV set, he hugged me and walked out of the room, I floated up out of my chair and into his, looked back at the TV and was pulled into the screen once again.
I returned to the tunnel of colour, hurtling down at what felt like an incredible speed until once again I was thrown out of the other end but this time into a green field that stretched out to the horizon with a paper white sky and a few little brown rabbits hopping around near me. I sat on the grass and stared out towards the horizon and watched the rabbits jumping around, I would like to point out at this point I was completely within my own world, I had no idea I was still in the room with the TV and my friends, it felt so real I still can't believe how real it felt now.
Then after a while watching the rabbits I remembered snorting the line with my friends in that room, I stood up and looked around my made up world. It honestly felt like hundreds of years had passed since then and I was convinced the only explanation was the line of K had killed me and I was dead, I imagined the police breaking down the door of the house and finding all our slumped corpses around the TV. I thought of my family who I was having complicated issues with at the time (to the point where I was nearly kicked out of my house) but in the place I was now, it all seemed so distant and silly, I knew how to make everything alright again with them, but it didn't matter now, cos I was dead. It didn't bother me though, I was fully and completely convinced I was now dead and at least a hundred years had passed. I looked around my world and thought "well I better get used to this" at which point I took a step forward and fell through the floor.
I fell through the grass, and as I did my world changed again but this time I was orbiting the earth, I took a moment to watch as the world slowly spun on its axis and the stars and galaxies in the distance twinkled. I could just see the light from the sun begin to slide round the planet and as it did everything turned a shade of purple, then quickly turned brown, then the whole image turned to mush and came shooting out of my mouth.
I was on my knees with my head over a toilet, back in my mate's house (somehow I'd managed to move to the bathroom) vomiting violently. The world was rocking underneath me just like it was at the beginning, I picked myself up and looked in the mirror; my reflection looked like a moving jigsaw made from triangles sliding into each other. I lay on the floor and held on as the ground kept swinging, spinning and shaking violently for what felt like hours. I was alive, I couldn't believe it, everything was still here.
When I finally got up and went back into the room I asked what time it was; 12:55am, I couldn't believe it. That meant only 55 minutes had passed since I did the line, I had lived lifetimes inside that K-hole, decades had passed, hundreds of years had passed, I was sure of it. The next day I was still in shock that everything was still here and I was still alive, it had all been so real.
I have used Ketamine since, but never in such large amounts and I've never experienced anything like that since then. I'm not saying that Ketamine is a way to solve your problems but while I was sat in the field in the K-hole, I figured out a way of sorting out the issues between me and my family members, and it worked. I know it sounds strange but I do kinda owe the family life I have now to that Ketamine experience, it was a life changing experience which I look back on with fondness.
Afterthought: Before this experience I had only tried Alcohol, Tobacco and Cannabis. Afterwards I stayed away from Ketamine for a few months but eventually I continued to experiment again with others present that night, we had some fantastic times on it and now I am no stranger to the effects of Ketamine. Then over the years we progressively discovered and experimented with MDMA, LSD, 2CB and Psilocybin Mushrooms (the trip in the report above took place 4 years ago). After trying these other substances however I now know what true psychedelia is, no dissociation, far from it in fact; a mind so infinitely connected with itself the level understanding of myself and everything that I have or ever will experience is quite simply ineffable... no words can describe... should have sent a poet.
I find Ketamine cannot bring about these experiences on its own (not ones that directly relate to your environment, past and personality e.c.t at least), and though on low doses I find I am able to conceive and explain such levels of consciousness much more clearly than when sober. Now to me, this seems like an odd feature for a dissociative aesthetic, that coupled with the urgent nature and sheer randomness of the trips it induces leads me to render Ketamine as one of the most remarkable and yet equally difficult substances I've ever used, but then I have very little experience with other dissociatives.
However, this inability (or difficultly) to achieve these, quite frankly, existence shattering realisations, which are more easily attainable with the other substances I mentioned, is not something I look on as a negative in my experience: Ketamine opened my mind to hallucinogens, it taught me not to fight them but to work with them, it made me realise there was more to my mind than I had previously thought and other basics that all "newbie" trippers have to establish early on. But because I couldn't access these higher realms of fine perception on Ketamine, I believe it made learning them somewhat safer: there was no danger of me accidentally reaching such states before I'm ready and mentally scarring myself for life, because if I did too much I was more likely to just lay in one place and K-hole for ages, then come round. I suppose the fact Ketamine has a higher risk of addiction, but I personally have never found it an addictive drug; it's a bit too alien for me to do all the time, plus I often feel a bit rough and heavy for the rest of the day after snorting Ketamine.
It does however induce a fascinating state of mind that can be very pleasant (try watching a Pixar film on it) but generally I think of Ketamine as a "fake psychedelic" as once I became familiar with it I found there was little more that could be done with it, and I considered it more mind contracting rather than mind expanding at this point. Similar to how using a simulator is not like flying a plane, it just gives you the general idea to prepare your mind for the real situation. But after I moved away from Ketamine and on to more classic psychedelics whose lessons were easier to grasp and then apply to everyday life, I gained a much broader tolerance for more the more states of consciousness as I became more and more interested in psychonautics. I can now fully appreciate the distilled forms of perception Ketamine reveals and regard it as a novel and thrilling substance; you can experience absolutely anything on Ketamine without even lifting a finger, all I can say is you have very little (is any) choice in where it will take you, so just hold on and prepare for the ride of a lifetime.
I do understand that if I wish to fully experience Ketamine I should dose it IM, but until I am able to get guaranteed pure Ketamine and sterile equipment to do so I will be doing no such thing!