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There is a bigger picture. No doubt about it.

There is sadness in this world. But at the same time, there is so much happiness.

                   So me and my brother have tried shrooms about 4 times. We gradually increased our dosage from 3 grams to 5 grams. I'm not exactly sure what type of mushroom it was, but regardless, it made it trip balls. But anyways, this time we took 5 grams. It was a early Saturday morning, I woke up around 10ish, and went into my brothers room and said to him, "Lets leave this planet" and he already knew that I meant. We've been planning this trip for a week. So we go to a friends house, buy some shrooms and come back home, and sit in my back yard and chomp them down. Within 10-15 minutes the visuals start hitting us. I look at the ground and I see all the grass, weed, sand coming toward me as if I was a magnet. We let each other know what we are seeing, and then we start laughing about why mushrooms are illegal. "They are just fuckin' mushrooms, why are they illegal? How am I harming anyone?" I said. "I don't know man, I don't know" Replied my brother. 

                    About 30 minutes in, we decide to go inside and go to our bedrooms and do this hypnosis thing we heard was pretty bad ass thing to do while on shrooms. So I laid on my bed, turned on my laptop and started playing a hypnosis video . I laid down and closed my eyes, and was listening to this guy talking on the hypnosis video. Close eyed visuals were extremely intense at this point. I was seeing multiple colors coming down a waterfall. The way I felt was is as if I was a baby in a womb, and there was a nurturing voice guiding me and protecting me. About 10 minutes into the video, someone sends me a message on facebook and it jolts me back into reality. It was my brother checking seeing if I was alright. So I decide to forget the hypnosis, and actually just lay down and think. As I lay down on my stomach, I can't feel my body at all. It felt as if all my limbs were attached to my body. It almost felt like I didn't have a body. It was just my brain on my bed. It was a eerie but extremely comfortable feeling. I felt so happy. Like there was so much happiness everywhere. I felt as if I didn't have a single thing to worry about. There were tears coming out of my eyes because of all the happiness. If someone gave me a million dollars, I don't think I would be nearly as that happy. I decide to get out of the position I was in and I look at my hands and it look surreal. As if I was a cartoon and it was hilarious. My hands did not look real. The trip was amazing at this point.

                     I keep looking at my hands, and I toss and turn and look around my room and everything looks like a cartoon that is being stretched and distorted. Then I decide to go check my facebook real quick. And all I see is sadness. I keep on seeing the terrible loss of life that just happened recently with those elementary kids that were killed. It hit me hard because I have a seven year old brother who was at school when that happened. Then all I felt was sadness, like I felt as if I was those kids parents, siblings, family members, or someone close to them. Not some random guy that lives hundreds of miles away. There were tears coming out of my eyes. Then I started feeling connected with everyone on this planet. I felt one with everyone. One with everything. One with the earth. One with the universe. Something kept on bugging me and all I could think about is every single living thing on this planet has the same energy. I used to think sometimes and ask myself "What if I am the only one alive and everyone else was just put here for a test or something for me?" But this day, I realized, everyone else is alive just like me. 7 billion other people could think just like I can. I felt like I was a part of everyone and everyone was a part of me. It was such a weird feeling, such a unreal feeling. But I was so happy when I felt this. "How could a fucking mushroom make me feel like this?" I kept asking myself. Another thing I realized was this world is so small, yet so big. There has to be a bigger picture. Then my little brother walks into my room, and I sober up pretty quick (not really possible) but I felt so much happiness when he came in. I realized he was growing up and it was making me happy.  He came into my room and sat down on my bed and started playing with a laser that I recently bought him, and it made me realize, that there is so much sadness in this world, but at the same time there is so much happiness. And we shouldn't take that happiness for granted. I talked to my little brother and I actually enjoyed it a lot. Then I called my younger brother who is in the Army and is stationed in Alaska and we talk for an hour about everything.  

                    4-5 hours into the trip, My mom comes home and she needs me to run errands with her. I asked her to drive and she agreed. I was sobering up, but my pupils were still extremely dialated. I have greenish red eyes so it was very visible. All the thinking I did at the peak of the trip gave me a headache and I felt a sort of a hangover from it. I felt out of it. I wasn't thinking of anything at all and it was hard for me to comprehend what other people are saying to me. My mom was talking to me the whole way to Sams Club and I was just agreeing with her and nodding my head. I was looking outside the cars window and seeing everything and I just couldn't compute what was going. I was getting scared because I thought I was going to be like this forever. I was hoping this doesn't change my personality because I love who I am. But as soon as we got to sams club, it was wearing off and I felt happy again. I was smiling at everyone I seen and everyone was smiling back, it was really weird. Everyone probably saw my eyes and thought to themselves that this guy is tripping balls on something. 

                  Overall it was an amazing trip. I feel horrible for the people who haven't tried mushroom. It's life changing stuff. This was the strongest trip that ive been on so far. I don't plan on doing another trip for a while but I'm definitely going to try it again in a couple of months. What I've learned from this trip is there is a bigger picture for sure. I have absolutely no doubt about it.

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