First Trip

I'm twenty-years-old, a little late to the show with psychedelics but have entertained the idea of doing them for a long time in part because of my interest in philosophy, altered states of consciousness and the fact that I smoke weed regularly which I think has opened the door to a better understanding of myself and my relation to the world. This was my first time taking any psychedelics and I took them two days ago.

My friend Ryan, who is two years older than me and more experienced with psychedelics than I am, had called me earlier in the day and told me that he wanted to go for a hike. I suggested to him that this was a good opportunity to eat mushrooms and he agreed. I picked him up from his house where he was preparing a mix of chocolate and mint liquors in a mason jar, I took a drink of it and we proceeded to another one of our friend's houses and I waited there as they picked up the mushrooms from another friend's house. At this point I was very anxious and excited, my mind was reeling with the thought of finally being able to experience what psychedelics were all about. Of course, I think this had sabotaged my experience in some way because I had built up a labyrinth of expectations in my head about what this was going to feel like and this type of experience is wholly unique to anything you'll ever experience in your lifetime in my opinion. But maybe that was part of the experience altogether.

So he came back to the house with a chocolate and we cut it in half and ate both pieces. Initially, not knowing much about mushrooms, I was skeptical to see that it was in chocolate form. That's not how I had envisaged my first trip on mushrooms, I had thought either we were going to make tea or eat them dried and whole. Regardless, we took the plunge and there was no going back now. The friend of ours, John, whose house we were at when we ate it wasn't going to eat them with us at first but we warmed him up to it eventually and during that period I was filled with an incredible amount of energy, literally bouncing off walls, kicking my feet, swinging my arms, walking back and forth and jumping about for no reason. John remarked that I was going to fry super hard because of this and I told him I didn't think so and explained that I was probably just excited and didn't even feel like they had taken effect yet because it had only been about fifteen minutes.

So we walked back to the house where they had gotten the chocolate and Ryan and I waited outside. I was still jumping around but it was starting to annoy me and Ryan had taken a seat on a wicker couch on the porch so I decided to join him. I sat down and realized that my sight had definitely changed, I couldn't really focus my sight on anything too far away and everything just kind of blurred in a decipherable haze. Hard to explain. Things that were close to me had a lot of detail however, they were starting to become vibrant and mysteriously clear. So after what appeared to be a long time, John joined us outside again and we walked back to his house and drove to another one of his friend's houses to pick up a bottle of chilled whiskey. On the drive there I was mostly concerned with everything outside of the windows of the car, not really thinking, just seeing things I usually see around town. John had said something to or about me or at me or nothing at all as far as I know and I leaned over and said, "Huh?" and he looked at me and just laughed and said my pupils were completely dilated. That reassured me in some sense, because at that point I still didn't really know if I was frying or not, I was mostly confused but in retrospect I know that I was frying.

We got to the house and Ryan and I waited outside again. Five minutes seemed to take forever. Neither of us were talking, we were just slowly ascending ever further up Jacob's ladder. This was when I started getting peculiar visuals and enhanced senses. I remarked to Ryan that I had begun seeing what appeared to be like "sparkles" in the sky, but I retracted that shortly after and told him that it was more like many blips on a radar and only in my peripheral vision. It had a sort of kaleidoscopic feel to it but only the effect was reduced and less intense than a kaleidoscope. I could hear everything around me with the utmost clarity and whereas before sound seemed to be localized and identifiably directional, it now seemed as if the sound of cars, leaf blowers, rakes, barking dogs and people talking had joined together in chorus and emanated from no where in particular. It felt like it was all one big happening and that I was caught in the middle of it and I felt great peace about this, as if I were a part of something. Ordinary things became more interesting, too, I looked on at other people working and doing things in the neighborhood and was so fascinated. Raking leaves was no longer associated with the word "chore" in my mind, it took on a new meaning altogether that I still can't quite explain. It looked fun and real. I was ecstatic.

So Ryan became impatient and walked in and grabbed John who was eating a pear and we went on walking down the road leaving the car parked at his friend's house. They were talking but I didn't really have much to say, just taking in my surroundings and the experience. The town felt very dull actually, the colors of the buildings didn't excite me, everything looked drab and dark. I was mostly looking up at the sky, which had the most brilliant sunset I've probably ever seen in my life. We eventually ended up at a hill on the lake that we like to visit and we followed the trail up to a point and then started running fast off trail and up and over these boulders. I think we all peaked at this time, we were running up these boulders laughing and yelling and whooping with no concern at all. The entire area was dramatically enhanced, it's autumn here so the leaves have fallen and we've already had a couple of frosts and a snowfall. I was surprised when I saw so much young green on the trail. Grass looked very sharp, I felt as if I could feel inbetween each blade of light green little grass. I looked down at it and looked at John and looked down at it and looked at John. I felt I needed to say something about this but I didn't have any words for it, it was surreal.

We walked to a little cliff overlooking a ravine with very tall pine trees that had grown from below and the tops of them higher than where we were on the cliff. It was an amazing picture. We opened up the whiskey and the liquor and started drinking, it was complete bliss. John had brought us pears, too, so we started eating those while all three of us were looking at the trees in trance, they were moving so, so slowly right to left as if breathing and making absolutely no noise. It was the most peaceful thing I have ever experienced. We just kept watching these trees and I had a distinct feeling that the trees were watching us back. I felt the greatest amount of unity with the earth than I have ever felt before. I felt larger, literally and figuratively. I felt that my point of vision was no longer between my eyes and somewhere on the head, it was everywhere, it felt wide.

So we played around in a grassy area for what felt like a very long time again, time had absolutely no bearing on any of us and honestly it felt like we were moving faster than everything else in the world. We found a wood fort, observed a deer walking cautiously in the grass, it was beautiful and I kept touching everything. Textures seemed different in some way I can't explain, moss especially felt good. At this time it was starting to get dark so we decided to head down the hill we were on and work toward the trail. Ryan said that we should go swimming and we all agreed, even though it was probably only somewhere around twenty degrees outside. We made our way to the lake on a sandy beach, stripped off our clothes and jumped into the water. Afterward, freezing and probably suffering from hypothermia, we pulled out the last of the whiskey and the liquor and finished it off on the beach. I looked up and saw the first stars of the night and a red line of diminishing light from the sun torn across the mountainscape around the lake. I felt the most intense euphoria at this point.

So we put on our clothes, headed up toward the trail again and walked the very dark path back to the city and went to a local coffee shop. I felt very confident and self-assured, and I felt that I could feel what people were feeling around me. Very bizarre and empathetic. From there we went to back to the car, drove to John's house and smoked weed and slept.

All in all a very, very good time, I've never been happier. It was the most profound day of my life. Still can't wait to do it again.