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The Infinite Deja Vu and Age Regression

Candyflipping on New Years



The day was the 31st of December, 2011 and in order to welcome in the new year me, my cousin E and his gf were going to a huge show; Pretty Lights at 1st bank center. We had been the previous night and I was blown away so I decided to come along with them on the bus, uncertain if I would be able to actually see the show b/c I had no ticket. With almost no effort, I was able to acquire a ticket for a little more than retail price and proceeded inside, completely oblivious to the mind-fuck that soon awaited me. I downed the 1/4 gram or so of Molly I had snuck in with and smoked some weed, dancing to the opener who if I recall was rather good but who's name I can't remember. After the opener finished, I decided to go down to the floor(as opposed to the rows of chairs surrounding the dance floor) and ran into someone with an eye dropper, clearly filled with lsd. Before I even had a chance to ask, he asks me if I want some and we make a deal for 1 drop for $10 however to my surprise, he drops 3 fat ass drops onto my tongue after I give him the money. At this point I am rolling too hard to get mad and considering it was somewhat cheap, I didn't mind that much, I had nothing to do the next day anyway. At this point it's about 9 pm and the guy tells me "perfect timing" and than disappeared into the huge mob of people. I know that I'm in for an extremely intense trip so I return to E and lo and behold there is a beautiful girl there who he introduces me to and she asks me to go to the floor and get her some molly b/c she and no one else in my group have floor passes. In an attempt to please this girl who is fawning all over me, I return to the mob searching for someone willing to sell me some molly, I end up finding one guy but after telling me to wait for about 20 minutes and calling someone else, he says he's got nothing. By this time, Pretty Lights has started and everyone is too busy raging out to the sick beats to sell me some molly. Realizing that I'm beginning to trip balls, I return to the girl empty handed and I regroup with E, needing water and a seat after dancing really hard. I let E know how much acid I just took and he seems a bit concerned. I then go to the far end of the concert and sit alone to chill a bit of ways away feeling a bit overwhelmed but enjoying the clarity of sound and the beautiful visuals. After sitting there for what seemed like an hour at least but was only a few minutes, I returned to E and was feeling alright enough to dance and have a good time. Than the peak came on, I could see it from a mile away and I remember turning to E and saying "The last logical bits of my mind are disappearing." "what?" he replies, to which I simply replied "just take care of me." So then I sat and enjoyed the music, marveling at the visuals I saw. The entire mob on the floor seemed to be a single, undulating body, flowing to the sound of the music and the sounds of the music evoked different colored squiggles flying across my field of vision. There were points where I could see everything going on with my eyes fully closed and when my entire vision was covered with complex geometric patterns, white hexagons strobing in a field of blue and red. Than came a phenomenon which I will call the infinite deja vu. I was sitting still with eyes wide open when suddenly I felt a feeling of all time being laid out before me, an infinite expanse of possibilities all diverging from this instant and all of time proceeding this instant. At some point it occurs to me that I have seem the exact same thing happen over and over several times. I would see the people in from of me dance a certain way than reset and dance that way again. At first I was skeptical, were they just dancing the same moves over and over? After 10, 20 times though, the truth is apparent, time is looping. At some point the deja vu stops and I lean over to E and say "remind me to tell you what just happened." feeling that what just happened was so peculiar and unbelievable, how has no one ever talked about this? Why isn't this all over the news? At midnight the balloons in nets in the ceiling drop, looking like liquid entities, floating through the air and jumping up from the ocean of arms knocking them upwards. After some time I go to the bathroom and do the one thing E told me to be careful of, I stare into the mirror. Almost instantly, I see my eyes in the mirror rolling up and time slows to almost a complete halt and I can see the fluorescent lights flickering slowly on and off and what I can only describe as my soul, is ejected from my body. I have no recollection of where I went or what I saw but I was placed back into my body shortly after. I believe at this point I had an ego death and for some odd reason thought that I had to leave and so I did. I found my way outside and laid flat on my back on the sidewalk, thinking I was dying or was somehow mentally retarded. Thoughts came into my head that I was in a coma and people were yelling at me to wake up. I felt like a child again, waking around lost at a museum except there was no mom or dad to help me. I ended up laying down in the parking lot, not realizing that there were these things called cars that drove around. A guy drives up and says "do you realize you're i the middle of the parking lot?" I struggle to find the words to formulate a response "uhhh...." the guy asks if I'm on drugs and I reply without hesitation "lsd" The guy seems more annoyed than anything and tells me to sit on the curb and call my friends. "O yeah, I have friends here!" and so i call E and get no answer, presumably because the music was too loud for him to notice and so I wait and after a while, my feelings of being cold become the primary concern and so I start walking. All I wanted to do was be in a familiar place and not freezing cold so I decided to go home. "Where was home? O I remember, in Boulder, I'll get on the bus!" So I walk over to a bus with someone in it, I knock on the door and the driver comes over to the door, opens it and asks what I want. "I need to get home.", "Ok, where's home?", "Boulder.", then he points me to the bus stop for the right bus and tells me I need to get off the bus, so I do and I continue wandering, not registering what he just told me a. The gravel took many shapes and was ever-changing, I saw the eye of horus, the masonic symbol, guy fawkes masks, and many other patterns. I wandered around more until E called me. This took me completely by surprise and I stopped in my tracks. "what the fuck is going on?!" I yelled at E, thinking he was contacting me from some other dimension, like he was Morpheus guiding me through the matrix. I wound up sitting in a place called the A-Loft until E left and we joined up again. I felt like I had just returned home after a long and treacherous journey. Soon after we returned to Boulder in a cab and I stayed up until sunrise listening to music and watched the beautiful sun rise, bringing the trip to a conclusion.

Azarius
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