My First Trip

During my Sophomore year in college, a friend of mine (let's call her "L") got a hold of an eighth of shrooms.  I had been wanting to try them for a while, and so I agreed immediately when she asked if I wanted to split them.

Now, my friend was a very experienced drug user: pills, shrooms, E, coke, etc etc.  She was heavy into the rave scene and big on designer drugs and, as I mentioned, pretty much everything else.  My own drug experience was limited to weed the time, and I was so excited to trip with someone experienced and trusted (more on the "trusted" part later).  This trip was an amazing experience, and solidified my love of shrooms ever since!  Additionally, I didn't know exactly where to class this trip, as it falls in between a level three and four, but if you read on you'll understand.   

A quick aside: What actually prompted me to want to try shrooms was a discussion with my Philosophy TA for one of my mid-level courses earlier in the year.  After one of our recitations I stayed after class and we had a good long discussion about fractals and non-Euclidean geometry, and I mentioned that I could understand the visualization of the hypercube, but I couldn't conceptualize it properly.  My TA paused for a moment, looked at me and said, "Some shrooms will solve that problem!"  M, if you're reading this, thanks for introducing me to my favorite drug!  Now, back to the story...

So L and I head out on a really amazing Saturday morning in late may - blue skies, comfortable temperature, bright sun, and a smattering of small clouds in the sky.  Our college campus was urban, but had a lot of wide open areas including parks and a HUGE field, which we decided would be a great place to trip in.  We hadn't eaten since the previous morning, and so we picked up some fried rice from a local Chinese place, and also stocked up on juice and snacks at a 7-11.          

We made our way to the field, about a ten minute walk, and sat down underneath a huge oak tree.  L split the eighth of shrooms and we ate them with our rice, which didn't mask the taste too much.  I remember being really nervous about the possibility that the shrooms may have been the poisonous kind, but I saw that they were bruising blue, which set my mind at ease.  We didn't eat a lot of the rice and we finished in about five minutes or so.  After that, we leaned back against the tree and drank some OJ, and talked for probably about ten minutes.  At this point, I wasn't feeling anything, and L told me to be patient, but we both wanted to walk around for a little bit, so we walked to a public flower garden about five minutes away and that's when they hit.

I began feeling elated and the "rubbery" high that is so common, and L told me she was starting to feel it, too.  As I was coming up, I REALLY enjoyed looking at the plants, birds, and butterflies in the outdoor garden, and L had to drag me away to head back to our spot.  As we sat down underneath the tree again, I started getting some decent visuals, mostly distortions.  The sky started swirling into a Van Gough like pattern, the mounds of hills in the field were moving up and down in waves, and other trees in the field appeared to be moving toward and then away from me.  L and I talked and laughed and I remember remarking how amazing I felt. 

All of the sudden, L's mood took a drastic turn.  She sat silently with a big frown on her face and I couldn't get her to tell me what was wrong for a few minutes.  When she finally spoke, she said something to the effect of "Don't you feel like all the world is evil?  Like this massive darkness is just creeping toward us and will eventually consume us?"  I sputtered and laughed and between my bouts of laughter was able to firmly say, "NO!  Are you serious?"  I was the bright little center of my universe and I felt totally unshaped by her negativity.  That seemed to bring her out of it a little bit, but she was certainly not her usual self.

We sat for a while more and my visuals got stronger, and I felt like I was on a gently rocking boat - it was very relaxing.  L shuffled through her bag for a minute and produced two pink pills and handed one to me.  "What is it?" I asked.  "It's a vitamin.  It'll bump up your high."  I examined the pill, and it had an impression of a woman on it.  "L.  You can't be serious.  I know what this is,  It's ecstasy."  "Just take it!" L pleaded.  I politely declined and handed the pill back.  I was still the bright center.  I wasn't angry that L had essentially just tried to drug me, but I knew that I was going to enjoy my trip with or without her, and I decided that due to her ever worsening mood, it was time to part ways.  I told L my plan, which she seemed to understand, and we walked back to campus and separated, promising to call each other later. 

By this time, the sky had become overcast and it was raining fairly steadily.  Luckily, I happen to LOVE the rain, and I meandered through the streets, taking my time enjoying the architecture of the buildings and the goings on of all of my fellow students.  My visuals had gone, and I was disappointed at that, but I still felt great, and so I headed to my apartment, deciding that my trip was concluded.  Spoiler: it wasn't!

When I reached my apartment, I decided to play a prank on my roommates.  None of them were drug users and none had any second hand experience with someone who was on psychedelics (I had told them that I would be shrooming that day), so I thought I'd play out the worst case scenario for them.  I contained my giggles at the front door and burst in on the three of them watching a movie.  I started yelling, swearing, ranting and making a commotion.  The looks on their face were absolutely priceless.  I thought I was going to start laughing, so I went running back to my room, slammed by door, and collapsed in a heap of muffled chuckling on my bed.  After a few minutes, I opened my door and had intended to reveal my joke, and I found them all standing outside my door with dumb looks on their faces, completely unsure of what to do.  I started laughing again, and they with me, out of relief and because they thought the joke was hilarious.  I sat with them for a few minutes, they asked me how I was feeling, and I responded that I still felt high, but that my trip seemed to be over.  After a few more minutes, I decided I wanted to take a shower, for whatever reason, and I went in the bathroom and shut the door.

After I turned the water on and undressed, I decided it would be cool to sit in the tub with the shower head on in darkness, so I turned out the light, fumbled my way to the tub, and sat down with warm water pouring over me.  It was very relaxing.  As I was sitting, I noticed that the faint light from under the door was playing off of things in the tub and that I could still see shapes distorting!  I was thrilled that I would be able to extend my trip for a little longer!  I decided to stare at objects intently for increased effect.  Shampoo bottles changed, the shower head lengthened, and the drain seemed to pulse.  Then I glanced to my right by the corner of the shower curtain and noticed a washcloth hanging.  As I stared at the washcloth, it would elongate and then retract, almost like a taffy pull.  Eventually, the washcloth seemed to blend in with the curtain itself, and it began to turn into indistinct humanoid shapes.  "This is so amazing!" I thought, and I didn't break my gaze.  Suddenly, the once indistinct form morphed almost immediately into the girl/ghost/demon from the movie, "The Ring."  Dark stringy hair, stained nightgown, arms and legs with pale dead skin - needless to say, I was petrified. 

My heart was beating through my chest and I couldn't break my gaze.  I was expecting her to move toward me or reach out, but she just stood there like a statue.  I calmed myself down and reminded myself that this was all an illusion, and again the shape began to distort until it transitioned into the form of Legolas, the elf from the Lord of the Rings!  I was elated, amazed, and proud of the control I had exhibited over my own inner turmoil.  A massive wave of calm swept over me, and I stared up at the figure for a few more minutes before I turned my gaze back to the tub.  I knew my silent guardian was over my right shoulder and I became deeply relaxed.  I looked to my left where the soap shelf was casting a deep shadow against the white wall of the shower.  As I stared, a large hole began to materialize in front of my eyes, the upper portions of the wall dripping down as if it were wax melting. 

Eventually, the hole stopped expanding, and so I closed my eyes and started a deep breathing exercise.  I was incredibly relaxed and I continued that for a few minutes.  I began to notice that the blackness I observed with my eyes closed was becoming deeper and deeper.  I can't really explain this in any way other than comparatively; every ten seconds or so, the blackness I "saw" became blacker than before.  Each time when I thought it couldn't get any darker, somehow I was proven wrong.  Then, I noticed that it was becoming blacker and blacker at an even more accelerated rate, the blackness becoming progressively more so every few seconds now.  Eventually, I felt like I was falling into some immeasurable void of infinite and ever increasing blackness, and I panicked, opened my eyes and touched the sides of the tub to regain my grasp on the world around me.  I immediately regretted pulling myself out in a moment of panic.  The void I was falling into wasn't malevolent or threatening, but only alien to me.  It was just...nothingness.  A place where I could have floated for a while, peaceful and content, before coming back.  I closed my eyes and started breathing deeply again, but the chance was gone.  My high was clearly diminishing and the trip ending, and so I turned off the shower, dried off, changed, and returned to "reality."

I really want to revisit the void on another trip, but most of my subsequent trips have been in the outdoors and I haven't been able to.  I'm excited to journey back there again, and when I do, I'll be sure to write another trip report! 

Also, an interesting side note: ever since this trip, I have been able to experience amazing visuals and closed-eye hallucinations when I smoke marijuana.  About a year ago, for instance, I got very high after a few bong hits and when I closed my eyes, I saw an amazingly chaotic mash-up of characters from all of the eight and sixteen bit video games I've played, in the style of Wonka's tunnel, from the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with Gene Wilder.  Another time when I smoked with my friends, I watched them slowly turn into cell-shaded versions of themselves.  I hadn't experienced anything like that until after the first time I tripped!  Pretty cool, huh? 

I love shrooms.  They're interesting from a spiritual and psychopharmalogical perspective and they're just an amazing experience.   

Hope you've enjoyed,

- C