Psilocybin Mushrooms. Truly ENTHEOGENIC
in every sense of the word.
Prior to this experience, I had
taken LSD a total of 16 times, with a average dose being at 4 hits, with 7
being my highest dose, which was one HELL of a ride. Needless to say, I had a
plethora of Psychedelic Experience prior to this, but NOTHING could have
prepared me for the magic that is 4-HO-DMT.
Set & Setting:
At my house, In my room, white
walls pretty much bare as can be, nothing fancily psychedelic for me to stare
at. Dosing at approximately 12:30-1:00 A.M. on a Saturday Night. (Huge Mistake
not decorating prior to the experience, haha!)
I strongly believe to this day
that the way I prepped the mushrooms for consumption had a major part to play
in the reasoning behind why the experience was so powerful. Upon doing research
regarding the most efficient way for my body to retain the largest amount of
Psilocin, I stumbled upon information stating the powdering of the Mushrooms
prior to consumption would eliminate a large amount of the troubles my stomach
would have to go through during stage of digesting the Mushrooms. Now that I
had chosen my preferred method of consumption, I went upstairs to my cabinet
that held the coffee cups after my family had gone to sleep, pulled out my bag
of Mushrooms, and proceeded to then pop the caps in there, grinding them to a
fine powder. I had initially planned to place the powder into a cup of orange
juice, stir it up while in the glass, and drink a murky concoction of Powdered
Mushroom orange juice.
Needless to say, it didn't work!
To much dismay, the mushroom powder sat on top of the orange juice, and
wouldn't mix in much at all! Of course, I was not going to let that stop me.
With inspiration from the great psychonauts and shamans of the past, and my
brothers in my band and my Psychedelic group of friends, I was not going to let
this stop me. With little pleasure and much dismay, I drank the foul mixture,
gagging each step of the way, for the grotesque taste of the powdered
Psilocybin Mushroom creating a "Cinnamon Challenge"-esque nastiness
in the consistency of the foul brew I had concocted proved quite the challenge
to take in. After about 15 minutes, I had finished the awful tasting brew, now
all I had to do was relax, and wait for the roller coaster ride of my life.
I had been so eager to try
Mushrooms. I had a feeling they were going to be very impacting on me. I was
the last in my psychedelic group of friends to try Psilocybin Mushrooms. All of
us had taken lots of LSD together before, but in a strange series of events,
all ended up having our first psilocybin experiences be personal trips.
After Ingestion, I laid down and
talked to my fellow psychonauts who had just recently had their first
Psilocybin Experiences. I told them that I had eaten them, how I was feeling,
what albums I was going to be listening to, and things of that nature. As the
first wave of euphoria entered, I proclaimed to my fellow psychonauts how I
loved mushrooms so far, and proclaimed how if it was going to make me feel like
this, it was "Better than LSD". Now that the Mushrooms were coming
on, I started the first album of the night, the Beatles Album "Love"
George and Giles Martin (The Producer of The Beatles' Music and his son)'s
remix-and mash-up of great Beatles songs. The album started beautifully, like
an event, and I was anxiously excited like a child, with front-row seats to the
spectacular I was about to watch unfold.
The album starts of with the song
"Because", and it's entrancing harmonies felt and sounded more mystically
magical then they had ever seemed. By the time I had got to "I Am The
Walrus" (Track 5 Of 27), I knew I was in for a ride. The Mysticism of
"Gnik Nus" entranced me even further, leading into
"Something". It was during "Something" (Track 9 of 27) that
I first started to tear up. I had Shamanic Ecstasy knocking at my door,
creeping up at me, waiting to take grasp of my soul with all its might. The
album progressed, the feeling crept on, increasing with all its might as each
track progressed. Finally, we come ever closer to the scene of the Cosmic Orgasm;
The O.B.E. Track 24 of 27 comes on, a beautiful composition by the name of
"A Day In The Life". By this point, my happiness is exploding from
inside of me. I have already cried tears of joy, but nothing could prepare me
for the otherworldly happiness I was about to be brought.
If any of you are Beatle fans out
there, you may recognize what I'm talking about when I talk about the
Orchestral Crescendo in "Day In The Life", right before it switches
to Paul's part. That right there is where my OBE happens. The Crescendo starts,
and I slowly slip out of my body. I am no longer in my room. I am watching my
life flash before my eyes. My future successes with my band, the wondrous times
I have to come, pure joy and enlightenment, showing me what I can achieve if I
truly push myself to strive to my full potential, believe in myself and my
dream, and never give up. What a beautiful, overwhelming sight this is to me.
Never before did any substance I had ever taken move me to TEARS. I was BAWLING
MY EYES OUT, tears of pure joy and happiness like I had never experienced
before. True Shamanic Ecstasy in every sense of the words. I was so happy, and
the experience was so entheogenic in a religious aspect, I was YELLING
"SATAN YOU FOOL, SATAN YOU FOOL, YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO GOD". To
this day I do not know how I did not get caught that night.
Anyways, if any of you are Beatle
fans out there, you will know what I mean when I say I came back into my body
at the last chord of the song. This places my total
"Out-Of-Body-Time" at roughly 2 minutes and 45 seconds. I am
completely astonished upon return. All I can think is "What the fuck just
happened, that was BEAUTIFUL". I had never had an OBE like that before. I
had experienced intense moments of beauty on LSD before, that I would call
OBE's, but they were OBE's on a completely different level, not in potency but
subjectively, on more of what I would call a phenethylamine-style OBE.
Part 2: Entering The Realms Of
I finish the album, and now I have
to piss. I get up to take a piss, and quickly realize, I AM TOO FUCKED UP TO
WALK. The thought of that scares me, as I have NEVER been tripping so hard
where I couldn't walk! I mean, even on 7 HITS I could walk! Floored, but could
walk! So I stumble out of bed, somehow make it to my door. As I open my door,
my entire world goes to the colors gray, black, and white, and slowly moves
from side to side, wiggling. I just think "OHHHH FUCK". I consider
turning back into my bedroom, and then decide against it, for the urge to piss
is too bad. I stumble like a baby learning to walk to my bathroom, open the
door, and turn the light on. My eyes are as big as moons! I've never EVER seen
my pupils this large, for they almost are encompassing my entire eye! I open my
toilet seat to piss, and it DOUBLES in size. I close my toilet seat, and it
SHRINKS to 1/4 the size it was. I repeat this a few times, completely
mindfucking myself, till I decide this game is too much, and to just piss in my
huge toilet. After getting caught up in staring at the water flush, I close my
toilet, and go stumble to my room.
As a side note, every time I
entered my family room, which is the land between my room and the bathroom, my
vision went gray, black, and white. Upon entering the bathroom, my vision was
restored. But upon re-entering the family room, and going into my room, the
colors in my vision once again left me. Strange.
My room is pitch black. I grab my iPod
and try to put my headphones in and work the iPod, but my headphones are
MELTING. Straight up MELTING so much, I can't even put them in my ears, because
they are so disfigured to my sight. After countless tries, I decide music isn't
the best for me. I had set up Kingdom Hearts 2, the Final Boss Scene to play
tripping on my PS2, so I turn the television on somehow and look at the screen.
IMMEDIATELY I am turned off by it, knowing I am FAR TOO FUCKED UP to play that
I realize I'm pretty much too
fucked up to do anything but lie in my bed. Soon, that becomes a scary thought.
I keep thinking of how fucked up I am. I thought, "I am too fucked
up" "What is going on?" "What is happening to me?"
Somewhere along the line, I
conclude that insanity is what is happening to me. Thoughts begin to race at
100,000 mph, faster than they've ever raced before. I am PROFUSELY sweating, my
hands are extremely clammy, my shirt is drenched in sweat, and my tears of joy
turn to tears of fear. I think to myself, "Will I ever be sane
At this point, I conclude my
answer is no. I am crying tears of FEAR. I keep picturing myself trying to be a
functioning member of society in this state. Picturing myself in daily
situations, at school, in public, etc. Picturing myself trying to pretend that
I am a normal human being when in reality I am insane.
Being a Christian, (Not a crazy
Evangelist though, haha!) I, in my primitive state know that I can now only
turn to God for hope. I begin a 3-hour prayer, BEGGING for forgiveness, BEGGING
to be sane again, BEGGING for my vision to get restored, just begging to be
normal me again. At the darkest points in this trip, I lose my vision entirely.
I am not kidding when I say this. I go blind temporarily. I have no fucking
clue how this happened, as this must have been a spiritual thing rather than an
actual effect of the mushrooms. But whatever it was, it happened. I had to piss
for about an hour now, but I was still much too fucked up to even walk, but
this urge to piss was so strong, I really felt like I was going to piss my
pants in my bed. I prayed to God that I wouldn't do that, and still continued
my prayer to make me sane again.
Before I knew it, BAM. I snapped
out of it. I knew it immediately that I was back. All I could say was
"What the fuck just happened to me"? I was still getting visuals when
I came back, which is a huge part of what makes me believe God did help me come
back also with the assistance of the Mushroom's effects actually wearing off. I
turned my body over, and for some reason, there was a huge stuffed animal Orangutan
in my room that my little brother won at Dave & busters. I think I had put
it in there to stare at while tripping, I can't remember. Anyways, I got up,
walking/standing for the first time without problem in 6 hours, and gave it big
hug. Never before was I so happy to be alive. I was even hugging my walls. I
finally could walk to take a piss, so I did exactly that.
Wait, WHAT IS THAT GROWING IN MY
When I made the concoction, after powdering
the Mushrooms, I had only washed the coffee grinder out with water, and poured
the water in my sink. I forgot I was dealing with FUNGI, one of the most
rapidly spreading things on planet earth! Fungus had started to grow in my
sink, on the sink handle, and even spreading to the cabinet below a bit. I
FREAK OUT. WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY DAD?! HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN
Or, was I JUST TRIPPING COMPLETE SACK, AND WAS HALLUCINATING THE GROWTH OF LIVE
FUNGUS IN MY SINK?!?!
I’m not entirely
sure, but by this time, it was 6:45 A.M. BRAIN BLAST! LYSOL! On the bottle it
says "Kills 99.9% of Germs, Fungi etc.!" I grab two bottles of Lysol.
Polish them both off cleaning my sink and everything else, decontaminating my
bathroom. I could hear my sister and dad's alarm's going off to wake them up to
get ready for 8 O'clock mass as I clean. I am nervous as hell. My pupils are
still as big as the moon. I finish cleaning. I have literally a garbage bag
full of cleanup towels, cups and spoons I used to mix the concoction, etc.
filled to the brim, hidden in my room. I successfully finish cleaning in time.
Reveling in my success, I finally take a moment to relax, and listen to a calming
tune. It is now Sunday Morning. Fittingly, I listen to "Sunday
Morning" by The Velvet Underground. Never more have I been so happy to be
a sane, living human being.
I am so religiously happy right
now, regardless of caring about the fact that my dad is soon to be awake, I
shower, I WANT to go to church out of respect for God. I figure none of the
beauty I saw would come true if I didn't go. I felt it was the least I could do
in return to God because he saved me from insanity.
I finished showering, and miraculously,
my father, nor sister or brother, are awake yet. I enter my room, post on
facebook what I learned in two sentences, the first being the most important.
"All you need is Love."
"No matter how strange it
seems, all of it's a dream,
No matter how far I go, I'll
be comin' home, somehow."
The trip did end, and I ended up being fine, and I am fine today, currently still using psychedelics for all the right reasons, spiritually and for the betterment of oneself, and enjoying the perks of musical inspiration that go along with listening to the fantastic albums I hear to guide me through each trip! I consider that it took me 6 months to fully "recover", or for lack of better words, fully integrate the experience. Was it a hard trip? Yes. Do I regret it one bit? Never. And I never will.
4-HO-DMT is one of the finest entheogens we are ever so privileged to have on Planet Earth. It is one of the finest
teachers mankind has the opportunity to enlighten himself with. Every time,
Mushrooms will either gently show, or smack you in the face with the truth,
whatever way the Mushroom and DMT feel you need to be shown the truth in a way
that will allow you to retain it, that is the way you will receive it. If you
are thinking about trying Psilocybin Mushrooms, by all means TRY THEM. I can't
guarantee you that you will have an O.B.E. as beautiful as mine, and I
certainly can't guarantee you that you will have a terrible time after you are
shown they beauty like I did, but what I can guarantee you is that DMT is a
beautiful thing which will always expose the truth about life and your inner
human to you, and will ultimately make you a better person.
I hope my experience will
fascinate, inspire, and enlighten others of the wondrous magic that lies within
the Psilocybin Mushroom, 4-HO-DMT.
Peace & Much Love to you all.
P.S. - Sorry if there are any strange spelling errors in this report! (Blame it on Microsoft Word, aha!)