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First time, too much
Okay it started as a regular Tuesday. I usually get paid monday but I had to work so I didnt have the time to cash my check. After school I went off to cash my check, and took my friend who would hook me up with shrooms he told me he could get 2 weeks earlier.
I was originally gonna wait until the next week, during spring break to take them. Impatience got the best of me.
I scored 4 grams of an unknown strain. They said they were particularly potent and well worth the 45 I paid (everyone always says that about weed, and I've never taken shrooms. I assumed it was marketing)
I was originally gonna wait until the next week, during spring break to take them. Impatience got the best of me
On the way home I was very anxious. For some reason I got lucky and it happened to be one of the nights my dad goes out to the bar for the whole night. (happens about once a month)
I didnt come to this conclusion until about 9 o clock, 2 hours after he had left for unexplained reasons.
Whilst on the phone with my girlfriend, I eyeballed what I thought was half of the shrooms. I chewed skittles just enough that the juice was flooding my mouth with its flavor before I ate the shrooms to mask the taste.
I finished them sometime before 9:30, I only know because my girlfriend's mom was taking her phone at that time since we would talk all night.
Anxiously awaiting, it wasnt until about 10 o clock that I started feeling something. At first I thought it was my nerves, and I was a little jittery from the excitement that I knew any second I would notice something. The feeling was overtaking me, but it felt really good. The next thing I noticed was feeling really light when I moved. As if gravity was pulling upwards. In retrospect I think it was a bit of a drunk feeling mixed with like a sugar rush of some kind. I knew they were kicking in and the thought gave me an ever comforting gleeful feeling.
My brother was in his room sleeping. I went in to wake him up to let him know I took the shrooms and I was starting to feel them. (I had him to make sure I didnt hurt myself or anything) He mumbled he was tired and went back to sleep.
This didnt worry me since I was only on what I estimate to be 2 grams and the effects were mild. I'd say a high as strong as a good weed high.
I played some call of duty and noticed after only a couple games it became boring. I was still doing as good as I usually do (I'm pretty good, not to brag though) but I just wasnt as interested.
I went back out in the living room where my brother was now watching tv and I sat on the couch. I felt an irresistable urge to do something. My mind wwas racing with ideas of what to do. I think this confused me because I then began to pace around like I was gonna do something but kept forgetting (lol).
I was still feeling pretty good, but I knew I wasnt yet tripping. I decided to just eat the rest. It had been 3 and half hours since my dad left and I didnt expect him back anytime soon. Though I spent the rest of the night in my room just in case.
As I was facebooking, I noticed my peripheral vision was very colorful. Soon it was intricate shapes moving fluently about my vision.
Then the overwhelming thoughts took over. I cant explain the emotion associated with these thoughts, and the unfamiliar atmospheric feeling I got from the different things I was thinking. I can only tell you what the thoughts were
I closed my eyes and watched a model of a sphere going around and around another. This lead to a thought that humbled me beyond anything I could sanely concieve. As we perish, the world moves on. The sun still rises and sets, the earth still orbits the sun even when we die. Then when the last person shall perish, there will be none to remember us. Like we never existed in the first place. meanwhile the sun still rises and sets.
That lead to death. After I die, none of this will matter. Why not make it all not matter now? End it now, because it ends the same way anyway. And in the end, it wont matter... The vision of the orbiting sphere came again. It related to how we wake up each morning, and it always ends with me in bed wanting to rest in a void of unawareness. Just to wake up again, and end again. Until we finally sleep forever. I realized thats the way ANYONE would want it. They would choose to sleep forever, rather than wake forever. Because it simply doesnt matter if you slept forever, youre at rest, you dont have to worry anymore. For some reason it made me think of how killers know this... They are saviors, they put you there, in the void you were in before you had to worry, where you were in pure Nirvana.
I was so freaked out at this point. For some reason EVERY song I heard added to it. Like all the famous musicians that sing about death KNEW this. It was a secret humanity wasnt equipped to handle. Evanescence's song Like You played at this moment "I long to be like you, Lie cold in the ground like you" only adding to what I was thinking... I was scared that this was going to go to far and I would kill myself at one point... which only added to the anxiety
My brother came in, I forgot the conversation. I only remember saying that they illegalize this stuff because it makes you see secrets that make a man go insane... Once it came out of my mouth though I felt like I was going crazy!! Right before he left I told him not to listen to me, and that I was just tripping. Although I couldn't convince myself of this. I thought I would be scarred by this insight for the rest of my life. I was terrified.
After all this, I just closed my eyes, trying to sleep. Which brought back the sleeping/ waking cycle thought...
So I just watched CEV's, and at which point I mustve dozed off or something because the next thing I remember is getting up to go to the bathroom. Everything was so distorted. When I got to my bed I looked at the time. 1 AM. The background to the front screen of my phone is a horizon. From this I inferred that 1 AM was now the sunrise hour. It made total sense, the first hour is the first hour of sunlight.
I had a crazy thought that I had to MAKE the day begin. That the day could only begin if people made it, and today it was ME who was destined to start the day. I went to my brothers room and to my surprise he was awake. He asked me if I was still trippin. I said no because at the time I thought if he meant if I was still freaking out from the insane insights I experienced.
Then I was dead. This wasnt the first sunrise hour, it was the first hour of my existence in this new world!! It made sense, I figured out the secret to the old world I was in, and now I'm in THIS world! I asked my brother was time it was, what he replied became completely irrelevant. I remember asking him almost every minute because I just couldnt comprehend time anymore! All I knew was, I was in my first hour of the new eternal life. And I would live there forever since numbers never cease. I would live to see the hours go on forever, and truly experience eternity.
I sat in his room for a long time. He said he was going to sleep, and I just sat there. He handed me his Kindle so I could occupy myself. I was really confused because I didnt know why he handed it to me. After he explained, I said I would just go to sleep as well...
This was truly a significant experience. I'm not sure why, as I seem delusional. It just seemed... "right" for lack of a better word.
Thanks for reading.