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A Life Changing Night

my first experience with mushrooms

My friend R had done shrooms once before and had convinced me that I had to give them a try. After mentally preparing myself the day had finally arrived. Me, R, A and K were voyaging into the unknown-all of us first time trippers but R. As a measure of precaution I asked my friend S to trip sit us. We placed our shrooms in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to cover up the taste and nervously chowed down. (We didn't have a scale and took more than we probably should have for our first time. After seeing other shrooms scaled out I would guess we each ate a little under 2.5 g but because of R's previous experience he ate almost double what we did.) 

I sat, nervous and unsure of what I was in for and watched the clock tick by, waiting for the effects to begin. After a little over a half hour, my dorm room wall suddenly rippled--and so began the most amazing night of my life. After the first ripple I felt the world drop, a feeling I cannot explain in any other way other than just that. Then, the world dropped again and again, faster and faster. In the span of ten minutes I fell head first into my trip. When I thought the world could not possibly drop any more, it would drop again. It was terrifying at first and I wondered what I had gotten myself into, but when this new frequency stabilized my reality was exquisite. We went outside and sat on our favorite bench under a canopy of trees, overlooking a perfectly placid pond.  My visual hallucinations were not too extreme but I saw beautiful patterns in everything and at one point while talking to S I watched the scenery behind her scroll from sepia to black and white and then tinted-like someone was photoshopping my vision. Naturally,  all of my senses were heightened but it was my sense of touch that was most shocking to me. I had never felt things so acutely...it was absolutely magical. Even though we live in a 3D reality I felt like I was feeling in 3D for the first time in my life. The auditory hallucinations were pretty intense, everything echoed as though I had circuited a large church reverb plugin into my mind. 

We sat and talked about the universe for six hours straight and I thought deeper than I ever realized possible-my mind could think in a way in which there was previously a void. Most importantly for me was the prevailing sense of unity throughout the entire trip. I felt this feeling of connectedness to everything and everybody-this amazing singularity that literally brought me to tears. I hate crying in front of people and I hadn't even cried in years, and yet there I was sitting on the ground balling about the beauty of life. I've dealt with depression before, and a few months prior to the shrooms trip I had fallen into a pretty bad state after being deeply hurt by a failed relationship and a betrayal by my supposed 'best friend'. I reflect upon that feeling of utter unity that I felt while tripping every time that I feel depressed now, and it has really helped change my overall outlook into a very positive one. After cutting this 'best friend' out of my life I found myself constantly questioning every memory I had shared with him. What was the point to that entire friendship if it all meant nothing? Why should I bother with any friendship or relationship if all of it is really just trivial? Well shrooms broke down space-time in a way I had never experienced before. I realized that time does not operate at the single speed or in the single direction that we frequently perceive it, thus no memory or moment is any less valid or genuine based on future events. If all of time is existing somewhere at some place then that moment is still infinitely true, without future consequence or bias-it is eternally a piece, at peace. Remaining blissfully ignorant to the timeline that we live in. And that, is absolute perfection. Needless to say, my experience was profound. 

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