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More than i could handle

More than i could handle

So this was the second time that i have ever done shrooms.  I read online some story of a kid who took 7 grams and i wanted to experience something similiar to his trip.  So i went out, bought 2 8ths of shrooms, and looking at these i was not very impressed, only about 3 caps and the rest were stems which tasted horrible.  Anyways i ate all 7 grams of them on a pretty empty stomach, and chased them down with orange juice.  Thinking about it, the oj kinda upset my stomach causing anxiety right off the bat.  I decided i would smoke some weed too.  I was playing skyrim just waiting for it to kick in and about 15- 25 min i start feeling it.  It scared me how fast it came on and pretty soon i couldnt even play skyrim, it was just too much for me to handle.  At this point, i go outside and look at this big tree for about 20 minutes, the visuals were really kicking in but my anxiety was still hitting pretty hard.  I decided i did not want to trip anymore and was so uncomfortable.  I go into my man cave, turn the lights off, and started watching into the universe with stephen hawking and this is the point where my trip turned unreal.  I have a pretty good surround sound system, and the music at times was so epic that it was making my anxiety worse, once it calmed down i felt really good.  My 55" hitachi tv then started growing bigger and bigger, and soon the hitachi logo on the front turned into a mouth and literally started being the narrator.  This show became intense, more times then i can remember it would zoom out on the solar system showing me really how minuscule we really are compared to the universe.  Pretty soon, my tv became its own movie theatre, it grew about twice as large, and became a 3d tv, all the visuals of space on this show were right in front of my eyes and i remember it being kinda breathtaking.  My anxiety was still there at the end of the show so i just decided to put the next episode on about time travel, once on however, i either passed out or something and dont remember the rest of the show.  When i awoke it felt as if i had some sort of breakthrough i kept telling myself "it all just makes so much sense" and "no fucking way".  I turned the lights on, tried to check the clock but wow the numbers all looked like 8:88.  I put it down scared to accidently text someone or call someone and ruin my trip.  I grab my ipod and go to try to go on a walk, then this is where my tripped turned for the worse.

I walkout outside and could not untangle my headphones from my hands, it was if they kept on melting into them.  I went inside and put the ipod down, looked around my room and thought to myself "this is not my room".  It looked so different then what it is originally.  it was so big and hazy and everything seemed out of place.  Then i started tripping and in my mind played these so called daydreams.  In these daydreams it felt as if i myself have been on this earth countless times and that life itself is just a big long dream.  It was so strange and eerie and this is where i kept on saying "no fucking way". This point in my trip i completely lost time and my thoughts became products of life questions.  I wish i could go back and explain to you exactly what i was thinking but at the same time it all scared the shit out of me so much.  Then all of a sudden other thoughts came to me about how we are being ruled and that our leaders are complete liars and are just using us for their personal wealth.  I remember thinking about obama and the thoughts that i can best remember is that he is not trying to help us, but to only benefit him and his select group of people.  Then i looked at my ceramic heating tower in my room and i thought my room was burning down because everything was so hazy.  I was looping all of these thoughts i have no idea how long but everytime i kept on coming back to reality i kept on saying i need to go to bed but couldnt.  I turned off all electronics except for my lights and the haze never went away.  Then my trip took another turn.

I then thought i had died.  I thought that is why everything is off, that is why my phone reads 8:88, and that is why this room looks nothing like it really does.  Sitting there freaking out i start to think of my mom and how she passed away 9 months before began to reminisce on my life.  Thinking about it now, this is the point where i came to the conclusion that i have died many times.  Again i wish i could go back and remember everything perfectly to tell you guys cause it really was incredible but again i was in such a different mindset its so hard to describe it.  I keep thinking about how im dead and im just waiting to be taken away, i was scareed but at the same time i wasnt.  Then all of sudden my pool starts making this noise, best way to explain it is some creature throwing up.  It was short but i have never heard it before.  Instantly i thought of the movie battle for los angeles and i made myself believe that aliens were invading.  It scared that shit out of me, but my brainwaves were looping so bad that i did not do anything and could not do anything cause i couldnt focus.  Then this gurgling hit again and i kept telling myself "holy shit" and anxiety kicked in.  After a while i started to come back to my senses and kept telling myself to go to bed.  But the thoughts of aliens outside kept my mind occupied, then i thought again the room was going to burn down.  This was the rest of my trip.  I came down finally at some point and forced myself to go inside.  i remember walking outside and looking up and the sky was huge, so huge ive never seen anything like it, but it scared me cause it was so abnormal.  I looked down, went inside and laid in bed.  i forced myself to focus on my clock and all i could get was the 2 so it was 2 something am.  I took my shrooms at 8 pm and they were still kicking pretty hard.  It felt as if i had melted into bed, but then i had to go be so bad, i got up and could barely walk i felt so disoriented.  My bathroom is right next to my parents room so all lights had to be off to keep them from knowing i was still up.  I sat on the toilet to go pee and it was pitch black.  I felt really sick but not gonna throw up and i felt as if only my consciousness  was there and not me.  I finally broke out of it cause i had to lay down cause my stomach was so upset.  I laid on my bed, dry heaved once.  I couldnt throw up cause again i didnt want my parents to awake.  I laid on my sstomach, melted to my covers, and thought holy shit man that trip was intense.  I couldnt get over how crazy it was.  I finally fell asleep, and my dad woke me up at 9am.  I got up, got coffee, went shopping for christmas with my dad for my stepmom, went home and worked out then went to a christmas party that night where i felt very comfortable around my girlfriends parents friends. Usually i dont so it was good.  Anyways i was fine after that night but in the back of my head that next day and really until now it has been in the back of my head how crazy  and scary that trip was.  i know it was good for me to experience but again idk if i could handle another trip like that.  i have been scared to do shrooms ever since but look back on the trip as a more positive experience.  

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