I had been toying with the idea of smoking a large amount of high concentrate salvia during an LSD trip for a few weeks. I had taken 3 hits of decent LSD a few of hours earlier and was spread out on my bed in complete darkness. The peak had just finished and I was enjoying the strong visuals that were zooming around the room. All of a sudden the thought popped into my head... "I have to smoke salvia right now"
I was still a bit uneasy on my feet as the LSD was quite strong stuff to begin with, but I managed to pack a large bowl of 50x salvia into my bong. I stared at it, not really sure what to expect. I have lots of experience with salvia, but never mixing it with anything but cannabis. "Here we go" I said as I lit up. I took a large hit just as I normally would. The bowl was considerably larger than my normal dose, I really wanted to go all out.
I will explain the bulk of this trip by relating to things that exist in this reality, but at the time I had no point of reference... this world or anything having to do with this reality completely disappeared. I had no recollection of earth, me, my family or the english language for that matter until I started coming down and remembering it all.
As I exhaled, the smoke turned into a puffy cloud floating high above a vast nothingness and I realized I too was a cloud. I was floating along with other clouds who were also living beings. Everything then went black. I was able to make out some sort of recursive pattern. If you have ever been really dizzy and tried to focus your vision on something, it felt very similar to that. I couldn't understand what I was looking at or how I got to wherever I was. I also didn't know who I was. I felt very one dimensional. A lost soul. It was as though I was stuck in a single point, the pattern was my whole universe and I was stuck in this very small repeating reality.
I felt another presence coming near from outside of this one dimension. It seemed to be asking me how I got there, but not with language, I just automatically knew what it was saying. It then joined me in that dimension and I had an overwhelming feeling that we were now both stuck forever in this tiny place. More and more images slowly crept into our consciousness, mostly colors, but eventually whole objects. My one dimension began to enlarge into what I can only describe as two dimensions.
Pieces of my room, which at the time I did not recognize, entered our consciousness. This other being seemed to be connected to everything that I could see. It was almost as if it consisted of everything, a never ending being. I noticed that I also had things connected to me... they ended up being my arms and legs, but I could not comprehend what they meant or how I was supposed to use them. My reality then split. A wide opening of blackness was exposed. The rip started at my eye and followed my shoulder down my arm onto my hand. I remember saying "ow", not because it hurt, but because it was the only thing that could properly describe the feeling.
I was trying to move away from this rip, but it was attached to me somehow. It connected me to the other objects in the room and no matter what I did I couldn't escape. I also felt it was pulling me into it, away from the other reality. I was still holding my bong, which just looked like an extension of my hand. That is probably why I didn't notice the water pouring out of it until i felt wetness on my foot. This pulled me out of the experience and snapped some of my memories from the real world (including some english words) back into my head. However, the rip was still present and was now even more frightening because it was taking me from my ego.
I had a very distinct feeling that I had spilled the water onto the other being who had joined me earlier. The reason for this was that the being was everything, my bed, the floor, the desk... so everything I did felt like I was doing it directly to this other living thing. I even said "sorry" to it for spilling my water on it. This is when I remembered who I was and what I had smoked. My room seemed very strange. All of my things became stale and meaningless. This rip was calling me, telling me it was true reality and that all of my material goods, the people I knew, and everything in my life I held dear was nothing compared to it. It became clear that I was standing on the line between our reality and the void that comes after death.
I kept feeling that I didn't care about the objects in my room or my "old" reality, but still felt as though I wasn't ready to just give it all away and jump into the rip. I spoke to it. Saying "help" "please help me". I got no response, not even a feeling. I then asked, "is this it?" "have I lost my mind? is that what this is?". I felt no response, and also felt that the other being had somehow slipped away without me knowing. The rip began to disappear slowly into the back of my head until I could no longer see it. I sat on the bed until the trip faded completely.
This was the most profound experience I have had on salvia. It left me with many more questions than answers. I would like to explore this rip more and see where it goes. It is quite scary and I would need to prepare for it. I would also say that the salvia pretty much trumped the LSD and it was hard to enjoy after the salvia faded.
All in all a good experience albeit scary, mind-blowing, and existential... but isn't that the point?