Notes before the read.... planned on tripping in my house with my friend A but he was called into work, and he needed the money and went. So i decided to do them without him with some bad consequences..... Sorry if this trip report is long....
I have been interested in psychedelics for sometime now and after reading trip reports and going to the shroomery, i thought i was ready to enter the strange world of Psilocybin. After A backed out i thought i had enough trip report knowledge to untertake this trip alone. Boy was i in for a suprise.
It was 8am and the beginning of a sunny day on that december morning. I prepared a peice of toast with peanut butter spread , topped with 2.1g of Psilocybin Mushrooms(i do not know what strain). And proceeded to it eat it and chased it with chocolate milk :) After eating i made sure my dog fed and took a shower. After 45 min i was finished everything and i was not feeling a thing. I then contemplated ingesting more but decided to subsitute them for some weed. I was in my backyard and after ripping a bowl(10-15secs) later my vision became fuzzed, and i felt wierd. Immediating i went inside and sat on my couch and decided to relax and watch T.V
I became super stoned and my body felt very heavy, followed by euphoria. Then i was staring at this lamp becoming fascinated on how awsome it looked as i saw it twist and dance. Also noticing what seemed like unseen detail that i have never seen on that lamp before. Out of the corner of my eye(this rock wall we have in our house where the fireplace is) shot up into the air and grew. But by the time my eyes got there it was back to normal size ;) (the walls rocks are big and are naturally colored red, brown , grey etc) In color-coordinated segements each rock of the same color out pop out and pop back in, and when every color ran its course the wall sprouted up and the rocks went very small, formed rows and started the vibrate. Everything i looked at would eventrually distort and did something unique/wierd. Looking around the room(sinse i was slouched on the couch) everything seemed to have gotten bigger and made me feel small. Deciding to sit up to feel normal hieght, it did not change anything and i became to feel unconfertable. With anxiety rising and negative thoughts flowing, I became worried thinking its only 950am and im feeling a bad trip coming?!?!?!
Starting to panic i decided to take a shower and hopefully it would help. But to my suprise it did not help at all, beginning to think ALOT of this world and myself. I began to think of startling realiaztions about life, which made me scared and feel very un easy. At this point i could not control the flood of negative thoughts pouring in my head. After a moment i got out of shower and decided to put my cloths back on and lay in bed. Hopefully this would calm everything down. But upon shutting my eyes a wall of white/black tiles were infront of me. Quickly opening my eyes i realized there i was no escaping this....
Which led to the worst of the trip. I began pacing around telling myself i was drugs and it was all going to come to an end. But no matter what i thought to make myself come out of this bad trip it would not stop. Trying to realize how this trip was going so wrong i refered back the (dangers of Psychedelics renembering they could bring out pre existing mental illnesses) and i was convinced i must had something i did not know of and i unleased it. Pacing around thinking of the fact that i was insane forever and fousing on how doomed i was, and how my life was ruined for eternity. Sitting on the couch i felt that i was gonna be dead by the end of this trip. Which made me sad thinking of how everyone would be upset etc.
Finally i picked up the phone to call my dad to come to home from work because i was having a bad trip, but i did not know his work number... Which made me panic agian because his house does not have internet and i realized there was no way of contacting him. I felt doomed and stranded, and began searching everything of his that was work related and coming out with nothing, with the trip spiraling out of control i looked at the clock and realized it was only 10:20am!!! and it felt as if 6 hours went by.... I then kept searching and finaly found the sheet which had every number that his work has on it. Looking at the sheet i dialed the number........
But immediatly after finishing the remaining digits i hung up. And thought to myself no i ate these and i will finsh what i started. Put the phone down and and crawled under a blanked and shut my eyes and turned the T.V on to try and distract myself. Being there the wave of thoughts increased except i was thinking of ways how i would die?? stabbed, car accident, you name it i thought of it. Which made me examine if this madness was worth it(please dont judge) and if ending it would be easier. But coming to the realization the madness would continue dead or alive i still layed there.
Laying there listening to the T.V, I was imagining myself being normal(what ever normal was) at my moms house in my room watching T.V. Although i constantly thought this and what seemed like hours i eventrually sobered up and was very thankfull to be back!
Although this was the worst experience of my life to date, i do not regret the trip as i learned alot about myself and the world. I proceeded my taking a dose of 2.5g 2 days later with A which resulted in a weak but reasuring trip. Although i had that bad experience iam not done with psychedelics as i plan on taking a 2.5-3g dose on my next trip with no tolerance. P.S i noticed that when on shrooms it almost felt strangly familiar? just a note lol thanks for taking the time to read =)