Mental Set: Preprogramming with Ram Dass's Books and Lectures
Environmental
Setting: Girlfriend, Bedroom, highly pattered antique persian rug, om
tapestries on the wall, the album "The Peppermint Tree and the Seeds of
Superconsciousness"
Dose: ~400mic Fluff & Smoked Cannabis
I
must first give a warning to those who may read this, both seasoned and
those just starting out: LSD can induce experiences that are entirely
novel despite having used it many many times. That said, lets continue.
I
wasn't expecting this experience to be much different from previous
experiences, and perhaps it would have been had it not been for the
music album i decided on for the dose. "The Peppermint Tree and the
Seeds of Super Consciousness," by Amorphous Androgynous.
Come up
was standard; little shaky and slight stomach discomfort/anxiety as a
psychological response to the immanent ego-death. By the time we're
peaking, I turn the album on. Things were going smooth -- patterns
flowing, euphoria -- we decide to take some bong rips of some decent
"Cheese" strain going around at the time... This is when things started
getting a bit intense.
I get up from sitting on the persian rug
where we had been during the come up due to feeling overheated; sitting
on the bed indian style in front of the fan I began to close my eyes and
repeat mantra in my mind (not aloud). Aum Mani Padme Hum, Aum Mani
Padme Hum, Aum Mani Padme Hum... something was happening, resonating... I
begin seeing the tibetan script via Closed Eye Visuals spread
throughout my periphery. Each syllable was separately scattered in my
field of vision and began being glowing with a golden aura in the black
backdrop of my mind's eye; gold light began connecting each syllable and
then the flash of white light.
I was there... My sense of
"Self" was forced to perceive its own predicament from the perspective
of causal circumstances unfolding manifesting its creation and its
psychological investment in itself. The Ego learned it was created as a
culmination of genetic imperative, imprinting, conditioning, and
maintained through environmental feedback loops. While still perceiving
3-dimensional spacetime from the perspective of my bedroom and this
particular facet of the whole, I was also also in a state of
consciousness superimposed over the common 3-dimensional linear state.
It
was like having google in your brain. I could think of anything and
instantly have all information related to that thought instantly flash
into my conscious awareness; experience lives over thousands of years
pass by in seconds like freeze frame movies. The theosophists have
called it "The Akashic Record." It was the most amazing experience of my
life. Intuitively I felt this was what was meant by life eternal. I was
merged with the dreamer/story teller manifesting the universe through
loving desire to experience every possible aspect of itself. Death
doesn't really exist because we were never born in the first place; this
is just another dream within dreams within dreams within dreams ad
infinitum.
this is when i began to become afraid; my ego began to
regain some influence of perception of the state and was afraid it
would never enjoy anything ever again. all emotional rushes in this
state of consciousness are lost... things just are and they aren't. I
was afraid i'd be stuck in this state of consciousness for eternity
dreaming the universe without having the fun to partake in it. I began
feeling sleepy, which was very odd; typically i never feel sleepy while
dosed -- this lead me to terminate the anxiety and experience using 20mg
of diazepam. What goes up, must come down; thankfully. I've spent the
last year and a half grounding and understanding my psychological
resistances to repeat the experience without freaking out.
Follow
up: for the following week, hash would induce similar states for
upwards of 3 minutes -- which of course felt like an eternity while
you're in it.
