Background; I have not had an experience in probably a decade. The last time i did, it was a bad experience for a multitude of reasons; Set and setting was one, having to work early the next morning, consuming way too much, and probably the most important thing was that i fought to the bitter end for ego survival. It left me exhausted and with no desire to cross the boundary again.
Over these years i have lost touch with my higher self, and i have gone to very dark places. I've embraced fear, drank too much and was at times a very bitter person. I've experienced War, and almost lost faith in anything non physical... Sounds really sad as i look back... Not that it was all bad, but un-enlightened to say the least!
May 21 2011; The night started out at my brother's place who lives an hour's drive south from me; There were 4 of us and my bro's girl showed up later (thankfully as iwe were
in no shape to drive). Drinking beer, smoking cigars and playing poker was the plan for the night's festivities... Things were going good, we shot the shit about our jobs,
politics, etc, and later the discussion flowed into the end of the world. As May 21 2011 was the day of Rapture (LOL), i thought why not go out with a bang!
So I asked around the table who knew where i could find some of the sacred fruit? Then the networking began. Now, i have to tell that finding them was not an easy task. It actually seemed like it wasn't going to happen until my bro's phone vibrated on the table an hour later. We were in Business! I was so happy that i offered my Harley to my
bro's girlfriend as a mode of transportation but she declined.
At this point i have not eaten since lunch and it was about 11 pm. I had a good buzz from the beer, especially due to an empty stomach. So, were back after the pick up, and i
ask who is taking some? My bro and his girlfriend declines and the 3 of us left, eat a big handful with plenty left over. I don't know how much in weight but if i had to guess
4 plus grams and i'm pretty sure they were liberty caps. We wash them down with beer and wait for the effects to kick in. For me it was minutes... I snuck a couple on the drive back (fuck it, i paid for em!) so i was ahead. It came on really, really fast. So much that i had to go outside. The trees out front of the house were big Maples, and they were shooting lightening bolts at me. I thought to myself what the FUCK was i thinking!!! Anxiety was in overdrive as i knew i was doomed, and the next 8 hours was going to be hell!
I went back inside and the lads asked if i was OK? I said no... I'm not... They told me it was in my head cause we all took them at the same time and they didn't feel anything.
Well fuck them, i knew what i felt LOL. I told them i'm taking the mountain bike out for a spin to clear my head. Yeah... That'll help. I made it 100 meters before i almost hit a parked car. Remember i'm drunk too. It dawned on me that what ever i was looking for, i would not find it "here". Plus i was cold, so I turned around to go back inside. I made
it to the front porch when i started to dry heave. All i wanted to do was puke, to get this poison out of me. Nothing came out except air and gagging noises. It thankfully
passed in a couple minutes. I went back inside, except this time i avoided my friends all together because the noise coming from the dinning room was to much chaos to
process. Sensory overload and i was wigging out!!
I went upstairs to my friends room (who boards in my bro's house) and laid down on the couch. When i closed my eyes that's when shit hit the fan. I felt this indescribable rush
of emotion. All the bad and good that could ever be felt... I felt it rise from deep within until it surfaced into my eyes at which point tears fell down the sides of my face. I
wasn't "crying" in the conventional manner but it was a profound euphoric sensation. It was beautiful.
Eyes closed, my breathing was deep and slow. Rythmatic... I could feel the anxiety subside. It was then, that i realized that to fight it would be certain doom. So i opened the
flood gates and handed myself over to the experience. I was welcomed with the feeling of warm love. My ego was slowly dissolving. But i can remember that i didn't
completely have ego death.
This is when shit got weird in a good way. I was now in a state of duality. I could feel my consciousness leaving my biological body...I was micro seconds away from having a
full blown OBE. That's when the squeaky door opened and my friend walked in his room. He didn't know i was there as it was dark except for the light shining in from the
hallway. He was searching for something when i spoke; " Dude i was almost there"
"oh shit" he says, "You scared the shit out of me" laughing the whole time. I asked how he was feeling and he said "it was coming on strong now...". He asked me if i was
to go and i told i'm gonna just chill for now. 'Cool" he said as he turned on a small lamp with a green lighbulb. Which fucking put me on the moon in terms of environment change. Green light is a very positive energy to be bathing in. He put on Stereo Lab for background music to enhance the tripp. He knew exactly what i needed...
As i regain my state of deep meditation, i venture inwards. This realm is where i met some sort of entity. I will first describe how it looked as best as i can. I was face to face
with what looked like a Preying Mantis made of energy and light. The arms were engulfing me, not as prey, but as a medium for thought concept. As the arms grew with
density a new concept was shown to me and then it would retract. then another bulge of energy and a new concept. The problem is that most of the concepts were only understandable in this state of consciousness. What i do remember is that it told me that our biological senses were no designed to comprehend these concepts in terms of
the 5 senses. "So let go" it said. Well it was a tentacle of energy attached to my soul that conveyed the message, not a voice... And i did exactly what I was instructed to do...
It felt like I was flying but in a timeless environment. There was no separation from me and everything else. I was in this fucking gigantic space. I knew this not because i could
see it but feel it. Feel and see it at the same time. My vision was not linear but all encompassing. A state of infinite awareness! We (the Preying Mantis and I) took a tour of
what i guess is the galactic level of consciousness. Words do not bring justice to what i experienced in this place. Profound... Epic... Awesome... Words that we as humans, have de-sensationalized... Have a look at what the Hubble has taken pictures of. That is a basic visual representation.
I stayed in this realm for sometime. When i came back it was like being reborn. Now, my friend was in the room with me chillen out. I tried to describe to him what i just experienced, but it was impossible. I remember the overwhelming feeling of how absurd biology is. It seemed so alien to me. I looked at my hand and WOW; i could manipulate matter! my body, my vessel, was a conduit for experience. Thus, bringing me one concept closer to the meaning of existing here in this realm of physical matter.
As time vent on i could hear and feel this pulsating, vibrating noise. It was subtle, but omnipresent. I could hear the sound of the galactic center... I am sure of it. And every time
i closed my eyes i could see this long vibrating string with bright light at one end. Blinding bright light! the other end; went to infinity.
When i got up to take a piss, it felt weird, but i knew i was dialing back into my biological body. Things were returning to "normal". However, as i looked at objects around the house, it occurred to me that our 3D world and what holds it together is very thin. I could almost see on the edges of objects what was behind them. That same realm where i met Mr. Mantis of light...
So to summ this up, I now have a very profound love for spirituality! Quantum Physics makes sense to me and all the info on science, and spirituality when combined is very close to what i experienced. It is now 6 months later and i still cannot find the Sacred mushroom! But i will be patient....