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Azarius
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first trip on the fungi

what a beautiful thing



A little about the situation: i have prepared myself by fasting for 24 hours. i decided to trip at one of my best friends house, its comfortable and i have no responsibilities there, we will call him luther. his wife was also present along with his 2 dogs, we will call her lucy and the dogs will be called jake and jim. before i take the 3.5 grams of cubes, me and luther smoke some good purple stuff along with another friend that soon left (he had to go to work). 

 so after i felt a nice high off the purple, i start to chew on the fungi, i chewed them for about 3-5 minutes, didnt care too much for taste or texture but that didnt matter to me. so we are now sitting there listening to dark side of the moon and i picked up a note book to draw in.  the music was nice but i was not concerned about it, a nice background noise is all.  the drawing was nothing profound, but it was interresting.  after i got bored with drawing, about 30 minutes in, i starting seeing things in the room move out of my line of vision.  so i knew something had started to kick in.  i got up and started for the kitchen, and this is where i knew i was there. 

 i was so intrigued by this frying pan that had some kind of peanutbutter residue in it, it was beautiful, all the different shapes that appeared and colors were so magnificant.  i kept asking luther and lucy if they have seen the frying pan, when they said yes i immediatly told them to look again! so now im ready to go outside, after all it is fall and the leaves are so nice anyways. 

 amazment is all i got to say about outside. these trees that i thought i knew so well were much more beautiful than i ever gave credit to.  the sky started to show shapes (the only thing i can describe it as is some gnarly alex grey art).  i remember seeing some birds flying around, so i start to watch them, these lines started appearing from their bodies and it was showing me the direction that they were going to go.  this was truly amazing.  i could have stayed outside the entire trip and just stared into the sky.  but my friend wanted to go inside and roll a bomber, so i just looked at him and shrugged. 

 weed did not matter to me, smoking a camel didnt matter to me either.  so we went inside and he went to his room to roll, i walked around for a bit and he called my name to tell me to come look at this.  i made it in there and he had seperated the green weed from the purple weed.  i made him get up from his seat so i could set down, my god what a purple (thats what i remember thinking) it was like nothing i had ever seen, its as if i could see the entire strands that made this matter up.  i could guide myself through these small crevases and just enjoy the show.  i became zoned out on staring at this weed, which my friend later said it took forever for him to roll because i just wanted to go outside and enjoy that.  but the room where he was rolling, where the trip began, the carpet turned into this river of some sort and i just kept jumping over it to avoid it. his dog was apart of the carpet in some fashion i cant really explain.

  but i started walking down his hall and here came his other dog, he looked at me kinda funny so i bent down to pet him and his body was like a burning hot coal in color (all these beautiful reds and oranges).  i petted him for a little while, or what felt like a little while, god knows how long it really was.  then back to the kitchen i go.

  this all started to fell like an experiment to me and my friends were in charge, so to speak.  so i would ask them on occasion, what the hell are you all doing to me, and just drop it after that.  they were really cool about it and didnt mind. 

 this house that we are in now becomes some alien place, i can remember everything about it but it just seemed like a sitcom, a bad sitcom.  we then went back outside with the bomber and luther lit it up and tried to pass it to me, i declined. ive never declined weed, whats happening?  i felt no need for it, it was not important.  he did end up getting me to smoke a little bit and he wanted to go to the store for some camels, this was absurd in my head.  i just kept looking at him and just pointing to the sky, like why would you want to leave all of this to go ride in a metal box?  but he finally thought i was going to go with him and they pile into the truck and im just standing there looking at them and laughing, it was such a silly idea to me.  i told them to get out of that thing and lets go back to back yard.  they finally gave up on trying to convince me to ride in that thing.

  they didnt want me in the front yard, which i can understand, the normal people out there would probably call the cops on me for saying and thinking such silly things.  this tripping world becomes a reality, what im feeling is true.

  i remember feeling immense sadness for the rest of the world who couldnt see what i saw, which is a total loss of my ego and what we think is real.  so now i turn into a mute.  i cant explain anything to my friends, but i want to tell them everything is ok.  the emontions start to let lose, now im crying.  my friends are worried about me, but they understand.  he tells me to let go, its ok man. after this im in tears and i cant communicate no matter how hard i try.

  im living inside my head now, and what i would call an out-of-body state.  i guess i was viewing with my third eye, thats the only way i know to put it.  what have we done to this earth, sadness, people are so caught up in their bullshit materials and cant truly love one another.  this really got to me, i want to help my friends realize this, they needed to know. im am not aware of any time, any person, anything happening outside these walls, or even myself.  this place is much larger than anything we could ever imagine. still in tears and no way to talk.  the visuals have ceased, my mind is still in a trance. im still inside my head and nothing matters around me. what have we done?  why are we so blind? what are we truly doing? i want to help, i want to help, i want to help.  but how? its been 3 days now and i cannot get these questions out of my head.  my life as i knew it before means nothing.

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