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The truth of the universe
3.5 grams of psilocybe cubensis
Last Saturday night 3 friends and myself decided to take our second magic mushroom experience. The first had been a few weeks before and we only had taken a small quantity in order to test the effects. This time we took much more and had a very intense trip which has given me tremendous motivation to do something different with my life. We went to my dad's house so he could babysit us while we were tripping. We took a moderate dosage and went and sat in a nearby park for a while waiting for the effects. It became dark and we started getting cold as the effects were beginning to surface so we returned to my dad's house, sat in the kitchen and discussed our individual experiences as the effects built up.
At about an hour or so in the visual hallucinations began to be less distracting as my eyes were unable to focus completely and my thoughts were turning more existential. My thoughts were racing intensely and the thoughts just kept getting more and more internally directed as I essentially kept asking my brain "why?" and promptly received answers to questions I had never thought to ask. We sat discussing how there is so much more inside our heads than we were aware of because we had access to all of the knowledge we have accumulated but none of the attachments to that knowledge about it being right or wrong.
We started to realize that reality was composed of all of these concepts, assumptions, and labels which human beings have created and built layers upon and we have been programmed to believe these are true by evolution and society. We started to question the truth of all of those concepts and labels and assumptions and quickly learned that the way someone sees the world is a product of what they had been taught and that no one is ever wrong in the way they understand the world because it can be interpreted in any way by the brain and thus by the person. Since there was no such thing as something being wrong, everything became true and that truth was the same as the source of all energy in the universe and the source of all consciousness. I kept diving deeper inside until I no longer associated my thoughts with my physical body or my physical world. I could see my entire life and envision my death with complete detachment.
Realizing I was not my body I began searching for that which I was and found the source of my thoughts somewhere deep inside and I saw a light or something when I thought really intensely about this. This made me think that that light was the source of all energy and thought in the universe and that it must be what many religious types (which I am not) refer to as god and I realized it was true that all beings are connected in some way and that "god" is the source of all consciousness but god is not some being living in the sky, it is us, all of us and our collective consciousness are simply "god's" thoughts. Realizing this was true I began to wonder what the point of the physical world was and I thought I didn't want to go back there because I realized it was pointless, I envisioned myself dying and reconnecting with the universal source and I felt no fear of that happening.
I then began to ponder why the physical world existed and decided the physical world seemed to be nothing more than a side effect of the existence of the non physical world and the ego was a side effect of the physical world because our physical bodies evolved in the physical world and needed some mechanism to ensure their survival. I realized that people's lives are essentially a distraction for the physical brain to partake in during its existence and at that moment I remembered that I would also be returning to reality the next morning and I wondered what I should take from this realization that can help me in that reality.
I decided that since there is no wrong interpretation of reality, it is best to spend your days in the physical world distracting yourself with whatever brings you joy and experiencing all that physical reality has to offer the physical brain. And since others are all coming from the same source bringing others joy will also bring you joy. Now that I am back in reality I have found that my current life is rather unsatisfying, I have a good job and lifestyle but it doesn't nurture any of my passions in life. I decided I will now make an effort to experience a greater variety of things in this world and I will focus on actions that I am passionate about and that I enjoy actually doing as opposed to just enjoying the results of my actions. I also want to focus on having greater compassion for other people and monitor the influence of my ego on how I treat others. This also coincides with my Buddhist/Taoist ideologies so I am going to return to my practice of meditating on a daily basis.
All in all I consider this to be extremely life changing. It has only been a few days since my experience and I can still feel what it felt like to completely detach my thoughts from my body and my life. I forgave someone who had hurt me and I learned that I don't need to satiate my ego in order to be happy. Ego based pleasure causes a temporary positive feeling but must be fed more and more in order to generate any positive effect. Passions are true happiness engines, by fulfilling passions and surrounding ourselves with loving non-egoistic individuals we can create a lifetime of happiness.
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