method of dosage: Supreme vaporizer with dmt & sage combo
My first ever hit of demetri was overwhelming. I was laying down and my heart beat was pounding. It was an immediate and intense shift of awareness into a larger picture. My vision of the ceiling began to turn in fractal-like Aztec gears and the sound of rhythmic tribal drums crept up from the side of my body like a process had begun or a program was initiated.
It was so unfamiliar to me that I freaked out and stood up. I saw my face in the mirror. I saw myself as an incredibly complex and unique breed of primal warrior fused with a higher alien intelligence. I heard the words "it's in your DNA" from my inner voice. I moved the muscles on my face and saw how strange of a creature I am. I felt like a mix between Falcor the flying dog face from the movie "The Neverending Story"
, and Abe from the videogame "Abe's Oddworld"
. (click links for pictures)
I have three plants hanging in the window of my room; a spider plant, an ivy plant, and a fern. I instantly became aware of these plants and was amazed by a new "aura" coming from them that I've never seen before. I realized that they were an intelligent living species. Their leaves had a distinct pattern and there was some kind of sparkling alien energy coming from them. While looking at the plants, I noticed thru the window that there were all sorts of trees and plant life outside and I became super excited and ran outside.
It was a grey morning and the atmosphere of the air was foggy and humid. I became aware of the planet and it did not feel like home, it felt like an alien planet, and like a greenhouse in a bubble. I was startled and afraid of the realization that aliens are real and we are living on their planet.
<LATER THAT NIGHT>
I wanted to try again but I was fearful. I decided to meditate until I found a place of courage. It took about an hour.
I went through my mind to find all the things that I have tried to hide and push away. My intent was to bring all of the dark into the light and to allow myself to feel all the negative feelings I've ever had--fears, embarrassing moments, my wrong-doings, shame, guilt, etc. I examined all of my relationships with people in my life and made my peace with them mentally as if it was my last goodbye. Eventually I came to silence and it was time.
As I warm up the vaporizer, I start to panic but I ask for strength and guidance. The vaporizer temperature reaches around 333 and it's ready but hesitation kicks in. I fear that my last thought going into the DMT experience will be an evil thought and it will spiral me into a timeless psychedelic pit of hell. I force myself to inhale.
My heart beat is pounding again and my ears are buzzing and roaring. The black space under my closed eyelids are now covered with a psychedelic moving face, very similar to Alex Grey's painting "Cosmic Christ"
except not as bright. I realize the sound is pulsing with my heart beat. My vision seems to be pushed back further into my head. I am aware that I am in some kind of connection with something higher.
I then realize that I was still holding on to my fears but did not know it. I felt like I was starting to see what I had been doing from "their point of view". I felt like I was a poor soul with no love to give, so I give the only energy that I have gathered with my life, which was fear, and I offer this as communion to "the gods". I begin to cry. My life was an incredible gift, but I had turned it into a lie and spent it foolishly. But then I feel their message "do you see? it does not matter" and I am being bathed in love. I cry deeper and deeper with each realization, to be in direct connection with "god" and they love me so much. I had forgotten about love. The buzzing is pulsing thru me and warmth is bathing over me, it feels amazing. Then my body is rocking side to side and "let it go" is repeated a few times, and I feel like a baby being rocked in mother's arms.
Eventually "they" fade away, and I lay there in amazement with tears run down my face, I'm mind-blown, have a new appreciation for life and am full of so many emotions, joy, gratitude, awe, etc
I did a small hit again earlier today. I had the feeling like I was bopped on the head and the room expanded into a giant cathedral, and at the same time, the room felt like it was like the back of the clock opening up to reveal the inner-working gears, and time slowed down to eternity. I snapped out of it and realized I hadn't moved at all since I took the hit and had forgotten about my body completely.