This was an alright trip, some good parts and some bad. I had scary moments but some good things came out of it. First I'll give some background information. I've done MDMA many times, this paticular time would be my 10th I think. I'm a pretty small person and I don't know how much I took but it was weird because at some times I felt like I took too much but at some times I felt like I didn't take enough. Anyways, here it is.
So it was a Monday, start of the week and I was on the bus preparing for exams and my future drug trip. Key thing here: It was Monday. We were supposed to do it Wednesday. So I get to the caf and I see my friend who will be coming with me on this trip, let's call him B. Before first period I met up with B because he wanted to show me how much he got. I said it would be maybe even more than enough. We went to 1st period and all I could think about was the MDMA.
After first I went to the caf and B comes up to me and says, "Do you wanna just do it today?". My reaction: "WHAT THE FUCK!? Ummm I don't know!". I wanted to, and I also didn't, but I had less than 5 minutes to decide. The problem was I was nervous to do it. I hadn't done it in 10 months cause it was fucking up my life, so I knew I was going to be nervous and sensitive to it. I ended up saying yes and I told him we'd meet and go to the bathroom to do it after second period.
All of second period I was worrying and shaking and trying eat something cause I knew I wouldn't eat anything later. I tried to just forget about it, which kinda worked. So the end of second period comes, judgement time. I met up with B and we were discussing how we were gunna do it. He ended up taking it plain orally. EW. I wanted to parachute like always. It took a while to set it up cause B went first and then I had 5 minutes before third to set it up. I had to get a small piece of toilet paper and balance it on my knee and pour the rest of it out of the baggy. I finished it as soon as the bell rang, and I checked up on B when I went by his class on the way to mine. We were set.
I got to english, sweaty palms, with my parachute closed in my fist, nervous as fuck to take it. I got bitched at by the teacher for a minute for being late during summative presentations and then took my seat. I sat debating for almost 10 minutes if I would do it or not. Then I got adrenaline, stuck it on my tongue and took a big swig of water. Oh god. This is the weird thing about me and drugs. I get super nervous before doing them, and then as I wait for the come up, I start to think that it won't work and I get real sad about it, even though I was scared before. Anyways, about half an hour later I realised it was working and it was gunna hit hard soon in 2 ways. The first reason, my good friend was told he failed the presentation part of his summative and he came back depressed. I started opening up to him saying he shouldn't lose hope and he can still pass and all that. The second reason, the next girl to present, who was good looking but not really that hot, made me horny as fuck. I really wanted to fuck her, but I knew I couldn't.
The period was too long and I was getting really bored so I asked to go to the washroom. I left the portable and outside was fucked. The sky looked so amazing and it felt really good to walk, but it felt like I was walking really fucking fast. When I got in the school I noticed that the reflection of lights on the floor made everything look like it was polished, it was cool. I got back to class but I couldn't go in during a presentation, so I had to wait outside, but I didn't mind at all. I was stuck outside with another friend of mine, who was a girl, and I also really wanted to fuck her to, but I knew I couldn't. She didn't even know I was on drugs. I thought about telling her and having a heart to heart for a bit, but it probably would have been a stupid idea, so I didn't.
Not much else happened that period. When the bell rang I was excited to see people and be the centre of attention for once. Things went wrong though. I saw B and he freaking out and sweating alot. This was his first trip so I think he just took too much and wasn't used to it. I left him cause he kept walking to other people to talk so I did the same. This was probably my favourite part of the trip. I saw my ex-girlfriend who is good friends with B and she was just checking on him. My whole purpose of doing MDMA again was to have good conversations, but this was the only amazing one I had. We talked for about 5 minutes but that 5 minutes made us really good friends again since we haven't talked that whole year. It was great.
I met up with my 4 friends that I hang out with everyday at lunch, who have never done drugs or even smoked weed. It was fun, but shit went wrong again when we got to the caf. We sat down beside B and everyone knew what he was on and eventually everyone knew the same for me. He left and everyone was talking to me and asking questions and I told a few stories. Something weird happened that never happened to me before. I ate ONLY 1 french fry from someones poutine and I instantly felt like puking. I almost did. I thought food would taste good, I guess I was wrong. Then from that negativity, I had a thought where I thought I was never gunna be sober again for some reason but it scared the shit out of me. All of a sudden everyone in the caf was so loud and I couldn't pay attention to anything anyone near was saying. I was freaking out and I needed to leave.
We got up and walked around through the school and outside, and I looked up at the sky and had an epiphany which I've never had before. I decided that, because I wasted this whole chasing MDMA just to find out that it wasn't even worth, I will try to quit drugs for a few years. I am a few weeks sober now since that experience and I have decided I will smoke some weed every now and then but other than that I think I'm done with drugs. Anyways, during this walk I felt my come down, but I still had about an hour to go. Lunch ended and I had to write my EQAO. Shit. That was a terrible experience. I came late and I was so rushed and I was so out of it, all the shit I had to open was confusing the shit out of me, but I got it under control and didn't bring much attention to myself. Later on I did. After it started, my stomach got really annoying pins and needles, probably cause I really needed to pee. I also experienced extreme temperature changes, which I've never had before. I was so hot, and I was sweating. I had my sleeves rolled up, hat off, shoes off and I was putting water from my water bottle on my back and forehead. My teacher looked at me weird, but I'm always weird in that class so I just gave a smile and looked nervous.
After school I just felt really shitty, not tired or sore, just down, but I had no back pain which was good cause I usually get it and it sucks. Sorry this was so long, but it was an experience that had alot of details. I probably won't do MDMA again, or at least not for a long time. I'm thinking about doing shrooms soon, maybe next year, but that might be another story. Thanks for reading and comment!