12:25: Ingested tea made from approximately five grams Syrian rue.
1:00: Ingested first dose of tea made from mhrb (19 grams).
1:09 “Whoop,” head change.
1:12: Ingested second dose of mhrb tea.
1:21: Very nauseas, head spins.
1:24: Purge – Incredibly brutal!
1:30: Time has become irrelevant.
Here notes simply say “TRIPPING HARD”
3:25: Still talkin’ to God
Before beginning I set my intentions by asking myself what needs to be healed and asking for help with my anger. Lately I have been having trouble at work, as I found myself hating everyone I worked with. I was to find out where it was all coming from in mere moments.
My memory of exactly what happened is a bit sketchy, but shortly after throwing up I ended up in the shower. Here everything was brought to light. I faced my demons in a way that I have never been able to. Suddenly I realized that I was still so angry at my brother for killing himself and that I was still hurting from the loss of Sydney. I was able to tell Matt how much it hurt that he was gone, how much I loved him and how mad I was that he took his life. I felt pain on a new scale. Physical pain is only temporary, but emotional pain can stay with us forever. It festers inside and affects the physical body as well as the mind. Then I began to grieve, hard. It started with the loss of my dog Sydney who was taken from me when I went to jail last year. I never gave myself the chance to mourn the loss of her. With being in jail and then in a halfway house being tough seemed to be more of what I needed at the time. Then the floodgates broke open. I grieved for my brother, for my mother, for me and for so much more. I was shown that we’ve got it all wrong. We were meant to take care of each other not take advantage of each other. I was shown and taught so much, it is impossible to describe the magnitude of what happened here. As I lay there sobbing and screaming in agony and letting the warm water flow over me the healing began and slowly my tears and sobs and moans changed to tears of joy and bliss. As I got the last bit of that vile shit out of me a change happened and I began having a conversation with my creator. We spoke telepathically for what felt like hours. I was told and shown that I am worth so much more than what I give myself credit for. I remember at one point asking about Jesus.
“What about Jesus?”
“What about him?”
“Did he exist?”
“Was he the son of God?”
“Aren’t we all the sons and daughters of God?”
Suddenly I realized that I had been hung up on the wrong issues with my spirituality. Of course Jesus was real, of course he existed. There is no longer any doubt in my mind as to what I believe concerning Jesus. In the end it doesn’t really matter. We are all children of God each with our own special talents and abilities.
This is where it gets even more bizarre. Suddenly I began asking about my family. I was told that Sabine is my teacher and true mother. I was told that my seed is strong. I learned that my children will be strong and healthy. And then, I was given my new name, Ezekiel - Ezekiel Hezekiah Couper. This brought along with it the knowledge of who I am and why I am here and what is important to me; family being above all, and then helping others spiritually. It’s funny because when I gave Brian medicine at one point he told me “Dave gets it.” I had the same realization and understanding at this point as well. I am a medicine man, a healer, a creator. From this day forward I am one who walks with God. I have been touched. No longer am I ashamed of who I am. I found my purpose and discovered who I am. I had been lost for so long and suddenly I was found. I realized that this was the rite of passage that I have been seeking for so long and now I know that the last ten years of my life have not been wasted, but had been an education of another sort. My path is of the modern day Shaman or medicine man, a healer of souls and bringer of life. I also have to mention that throughout this experience I felt nothing but love. It was scary, it was painful, and it was beautiful. Huasca is a powerful medicine not to be taken lightly.
I have been reborn. I have been cleansed. My fears, my pain, my anger, washed away and replaced with a sort of enlightenment and peace in the knowledge of things to come. I am pretty certain that Brian had a very similar experience on Thursday. I should also mention that the visuals were of a level that I have never seen before in my life. This has been a breakthrough experience and I feel that I am forever changed for the better. I was shown more than I can possibly even comprehend and I am grateful.