The Rebirth

Before this experience, in which changed my life, I had tripped many times before on many different drugs. I had been going down a road witch lead to a path of self distruction with too much drug use and what not..... This shroom trip changed everything. It was about 2 weeks before New years eve for 2011. Me and a friend had bought a quarter of home grown hydroponic mushrooms each. Prior to eating them, I had taken 4 or 5 hydrocodone (bad idea) but i was reckless and fearless of any drug at the time. I had also been drinking and smoking weed (also bad idea). So, already feeling quite buzzed, I chomped down a quarter of mushrooms washing down that bad taste with a glass of orange juice. Before long I began to giggle and see a few cool geometrics like most other trips, but this was slowly getting more intense, as i excpected. My friend who was on about the same amount of drugs i was began to puke up probably about half of the mushrooms he had eaten. It was around this time, when the geometrics i was seeing began to get extremely intense. I was seeing things i could not draw or describe. I was seeing infinity and time as geometric structure. Then, all of the sudden i would start coughing up this bubbly mucas (sry for the description). I till this day do not know what that was, but i described it then as, "I am ooozing everywhere!" I then got very cold, and pale. At this point in time two others had come over and desided to trip with us, yet they were a little behind in the stages of the trip. Sinse i was so cold, I went and laid on the couch with multiple blankets stacked up on top of me. After the new comers ate their mushrooms they joined me along with my friend in the living room. We were positioned in a circle and we were actually holding a conversation. Then our words slowely became something else. We were all doing this not just me thinking it as i confirmed the next day. Everybody was blurting out nothings. speaking tounges or something. quite giggles. Everybody was slowly leaving their body's. while the others relized what was happening then all got up and proceeded to go outside and enjoy their trip. I on the other hand was already gone, yet at this point still there. This is where it gets hard to describe. I dont exactly know what i was thinking but i had no control over my sense's in any way. My friend came to me and told me to get up and began pulling my hand. I was trying to communicate and tell him i couldnt move, but i was paralyzed and for some reason I spit on him. He then actually had a bad trip, because of my negitivity, but i was not me i couldnt do anything. The next thing i know I'm gone. I'm going to try to describe it the best I can. I was in a free fall time warp colorful limbo. I had know idea that i was even human, or what my name was, or that i had even taken mushrooms. I was just a question mark floating in a infinity, time warped, nothingness, that would continue and repeat. It was like I was IN 1,000 years ago and 1,000 years in the future at the same time. It were as though, there was no time. I then began to question how I got here. Who and what I was. I then hear these words repeating in my head... "I never will, and i was not, I just am" "I just am" "i just am". .... I then remembered where i was prior to this and i remembered my environment i was in. I just didnt know who I was with or what we were doing. Then it came to me, I understood why I was there and what had happened. This was my first conclusion of many. I thought that it was december 2012 and the great awakening had happened and all of humanity was this cognitive thought floating freely and i was no longer.. instead of "i" I was "we". Now the interesting part, was that I had never heard of such theory's of this happening in 2012 before this happened. after this was all said and done i searched on the internet and there are many believer's in the great awakening. But after i came to this conclusion, I heard voices and then i heard my name. there were two people talking about me above my body saying things like, "I dont know what happened, he was such a happy person." That's when i had come to the conclusion that I had died at my friends house that evening and it wasnt 2012. This was death. I began crying just waiting for something to happen, because i knew that there was no way that death would just be this crazy limbo that i was stuck in. i was waiting for the next chapter to begin or whatever, yet nothing happened i stayed in a torturous time warp for about 4 hours. The entire time all I remember thinking / hearing / feeling was the presense of my higher self telling me, " that this was what i've always wanted, I've finally found what i've always been looking for." But all i knew was that i was completely insane. A couple of times I was would open my eyes (in reality) and the first thought i would have would be to gauge them out and then i would end up back in limbo. I just remember being sooo sad and having so much regret, and just wishing praying what ever that this would not be eternaty. It was HELL. Then Something began to happen. I could feel it, and my first thought was that i was about to "Move to the next chapter"  or be "reborn" or "Meet god" . Then blotches of reality came into vision. I shook my head and i was on the floor of the same living room where i started, yet there was broken glass next to me and blankets all over the room. I looked up and i heard my three friends who had a normal trip shout, " YOUR BACK!" with smiles. They didnt ask me were I had gone but i walked up to them confused, yet soooo happy. I started crying. It was like waking from a night mare and realizing it wasnt real.. yet a bit more intense. That was probably one of the happiest moments of my life. I then realized that i was tripping on mushrooms and hadnt died and what not, because i was still having small visuals. Sinse then I quit doing drugs, I realized my passon for music and I am currently working on my debut album. I think that this whole experience happened for a reason. I met my higher self, or god, or my subconcious, or what ever you want to call it, and it told me what i needed to hear. I was off track but now i have purpose and meaning to my life. I've had about three different flash backs, but they have been positive. I denyed the offer of drugs and i was congratulated by self i met in my trip during one flash back. and the others where during serious breakthrough's that i had trying to teach myself how to be happy and stuff like that. All in all I ended up over coming depression, doing better in all of my aspect's in life, and realized that everything happens for a reason. I dont trip or do drugs anymore because im scared of them, I dont do drugs because i dont need them anymore. I thank my subconsious mind for telling me the truth.