a few months ago after a long time not tripping for some odd reason( i would take a large number of psychadelics that would hit everyone else except for me) i decided to take penis envy mushrooms again them being the only mushrooms that ive ever actually tripped on. because i was having such a hard time tripping i decided to eat an ounce of dried penis envy. we got to the beach at around 630 or 7 i had more than half of the shrooms soaking in lemon juce on the way. i started munching away as soon as we got there and took almost an hour to eat them. i had started tripping within 30 minutes but nothing too much just the giggles and wierd colors all around nothing much. a little after the hour mark it started hitting me pretty hard but i didnt seem to notice i just though everyone was going kinda crazy. i heard all my friends laughing hysterically and talking random shit for what i felt was hours and it got on my nerves( turned out they where all quietly staring at the sky) i starting telling them again and again to shut up shut up shut the fuck up then i started hering voices everywhere screaming in other languages. i looked up and theres people all over the beach. now im really aggrivated and i start having difficulties breathing and i started to panic and i felt my heart rate increase tremendously. at first i saw this as a danger but not life threatening so i told my friend i cant breathe i cant breathe. my friends then starting figthing with each other as usual wich got me completely pissed off and made everything so much worse no its hard for me to catch a breath and i feel like im having an asthma attack.
i started pouring sweat i must have lost 5 pounds in water i had a 10 foot cirlce of sand around me wet from my sweat and my body temperature was really fucking high. now im not only worried about not breathing but also dehydration. at this point for some reason i thougth i was rolling too and that was causing dehydration. i started losing my sanity more and more and my complaining to my friends started becomeing aggressive demands and soon led to me screaming at the top of my lungs. at this point i was tripping so hard that i could not make out my actual surroundings it was all hellucinations. i was blind for a few hours. evrything i saw and heard was hellucinations. way stronger than any dmt trip ive had. i looked up and all around me where these green sexless muscular people all staring at the moon and doing a semi dance or jumping motion and chanting in a wierd language. i actually felt really sober wich made me feel even worse couse i though i was actually dying and not tripping. then i had the idea of running to a small convenience store nearby killing the clerk and stealing the water for my own survival. i stood up which is easier said than done and when i looked for the way out of the beach all i saw sand in every direction endless sand and it was daytime. i was all alone dying. my misery started to slowly turn to torture as i starting to feel some of my organ working overload and others shutting down. i felt like i was burning alive. at this point i was a killing machine and no body could get close to me most of the time i was with my face in the sand eyes wide open screaming at the top of my lungs FUUUUUUCK YOU FUCK IM FUCKING DYING. i felt that anyone who stood in front of me was a threat to my survival and if i was gonna die i would take em with me. i not only felt like i was dying i felt like i was being murdered. and i thought i saw a muscular figure in front of me and i tried to kil him with a big rock that turned out to just be a handful of sand. then i proceeded to punch the ground as hard as i could. no one would get near me. at this point i felt completely unstopable someone could have shoved a spear through my chest i would have pulled it out and beat them to death.
As more and more time passed i tried harder and harder to figth my death i wouldnt go with out a figth. i was ready to do anything to survive even cut my elf open and do my own surgery as i could actually diagnose myself i knew what wa going on and where in my body. i remembered i was dehydrated so i ran to the ocean and i dragged 2 people into the water who where in my way. it took all my stregth to get up as i would sometimes get up and immediatly my body shutdown and i would fall face first. i started gulping salt water before realizing i would dehydrate even more so i decided to just hydarte my bdy by just staying in the water. then all the screaming stopped and i heard a wierd voice saying rip out your eyes i immidieately saw a dagger fly past me with an eyeball and i tried gouging out my eyes but then realised what i was doing then i fell into a trance and iall i would see where pyramids with eyeballs. i kept feeling overjoyed as i had figured out what they meant but then remembered i was dying and would begin screaming again i got stuck in this for a while repeating the same thing over and over i finally gave up and realized that i was going to die regardless of hat i do so i decided to lay down and wait for my death which would hopefully be soon. when i laid down the pyramids came back then i saw the earth and i would zoom in to different parts of the earth and see wars being fougth and just alot of people being killed. after a while i decided i couldnt handle it anymore and i decided to kill myself i looked around for a knife to cut my self open but found none so i decided to drown myself. i threw myself in the water and i wated for what seemed like 30 minutes although it was obiously less. my girlfriend pulled me out of the water. i decided everything i did was useless as i was too weak to do anything anymore so i decided to lay down and die with a smile. after about another 20 or 30 minutes of me smiling talking shit waiting to die my body suddenly lost all feelings and in front of me i saw a portal in the shape of a verical eye and inside was a swirling pattern of eyeballs that is almost impossible to put on paper. i went through this portal then suddenly everything went black. i was finally dead i could see my lifeless body being dragged to the sidewalk and i was finallly happy. the i opened my eyes and i was on a cloud and all around me where ligth people much like the ones from dmt only more defined and with wings.
There was about 12 and in the distance was a palace. this placee was the brigthtest ive ever seen then one of these angels kneeled down and held my hand and i felt the most intense euphoria ever i never imagined i could be so happy i felt like i was finally home i had made it to heaven and i would spend eternity there it brings me to tears thinking about it. after a few moments all of the angels got around me and grabbed me and lifted me up they where going tto take me somewhere the palace perhaps. then my vision started to get blurry and turned into a multitude of stain glass like paintings with the all seeing eye and beautiful designs the only word i can think of that best describes these is majestic. after a few moments i felt my body moving and i was dropped on the sidewalk. i was sitting at this point and everything was a reddish tint and my girlfriend was in front of me assuring me that i was ok and that i was alive. i was actually dissapointed to be back. it took me a good 10 to 15 minutes for me to get oriented and to stand up and leave to avoid police clearing the beach at 2 am i was tripping for another 2 hours or so like if on an 8th but i felt sober since it had been so intense i only knew i was tripping from looking in a mirror. this trip was followed by another bad trip on 5 grams although not nearly as bad and 2 more really uncomfortable and strange trips of 7 and 5 grams again. im scared to eat mushrooms everytime i do but i always have a positive outcome and also a very strange purging halfway through the trip. thank you for taking the time to read my long trip report i had to leave alot out hope you guys enjoyed it.
check out this drawing kind of what it was like https://www.shroomery.org/11650/pthis-is-the-full-drawing-not-finished-yet-though
to the left is the suffering i was going through and to the right is heaven the place i went after i went through hell.
in the middle the blue man is what my gf saw while i was going through and the beings by the pyramid are the beings that visit us in our trips and the pyramid of course its god.