Ying and Yang

I went over to my friends house on Saturday. Since the moon was going to be closest to the earth's orbit (this so called "super moon") he invited me for marijuana and meditation. I just finished piercing my ear, so the thought of puffing my head off was very attractive to say the least. I arrived, and right away I was asked if I could roll up a fatty (seeing as I was the smoothest roller in the house). The weed we've been smoking was grinded very very fine, so that it was almost all crystals. Needless to say, after the second joint I was stoned pretty good. He asked me if I was down to do MDMA that night, but at first I said no. He was calling "friends" to see if anybody had acid (I was excited for this as I have never tripped on LSD), but, no luck. Me and him talked a little about Japan, and that's when I had to bust out some tears. I truly was feeling the planet's pain for this tragedy (I want to add that since I started meditating a little more than a year ago I've come really in touch with mother nature, and I'm sensitive towards the fate of others; I feel for strangers, something I could've never imagined 2 years back). I was thinking about saving the molly for when the acid arrived, just in case things get out of hand. He then started to ask around for mushrooms, but his contact told him the he would have to wait until Sunday (the day after). So I thought "Cool, I'll just roll tonight then and trip tomorrow." I downed a capsule (approx. 1/3 of a G), kicked it back and started rolling more joints. Another friend, S, came over as well, rolling, and he's usually the cheerful guy in the group, so that was even more of a pleasant surprise. We went outside to stare at the moon for like 5 minutes, went back in, and then I started to feel the extacy coming up. Later on, the owner of the house came back and chilled with us (he's a big fan of molly too). We had a pretty cool bonding experience (I think it had also something to do with the Rose Quartz I was carrying, a Gemstone associated with the heart chakra; I'll get back to this later as it was part of my mushrooms trip as well). Even later that night, the third roommate came home from work (doorman/bouncer). I went upstairs and told him he should come down and hang out with us (he's usually very introverted). I guess he appreciated the gesture and actually came down after 20 minutes or so. We all started to talk and share the love, and he could definitely feel it as well (mind you he was not rolling). Nothing really 'exciting' happened, but it was a night filled with love :)

So next day, woke up at around 3 pm. I still felt a little tired, and my conclusion was that we were going to cancel our mushroom trip, as everybody was still tired. Nonetheless, after the owner of the house came down again (when I say down I mean basement), holding an ounce of some of the funkiest and most exotic weed I've ever smelled (and smoked, of course :)), my friend told me that the mushies would arrive around 6 pm. To be honest, I got a little nervous as I felt that I didn't want to trip, but at the same time I realized that I've been hunting for mushrooms for a while now. I decided to stay of course. We smoked more and more weed (which made me a little nervous, but I was almost sober when the fungi finally arrived). My friend went upstairs, and then came down to inform me that I should come upstairs and eat my dose. So I flew up the stairs and got right to eating the suckers. We lacked a scale, but not being a beginner, I only ate approx. 4-5 caps, and an equal amount of stems. I was taking it easy too (by that I mean I did not eat everything they had ready for me). Thought I'd let them kick in first, and then decide to eat some more; well that wasn't necessary. As I hadn't eaten all day (except for a protein shake right after waking up) I knew they were going to kick in fast and hard (my last couple of times tripping I'd wait an hour+ for the 'shrooms to start producing magic as I'd have pretty good meals before the trip). So about 20 minutes later things start to appear more colourful, walls start breathing, the usual ya know. I'm getting excited now, can't wait to be full out frying. I close my eyes, and in the blackness/darkness, I can start to see coloured dots. "This is good" I'm thinking to myself. the owner of the house, A, puts on some music in the other room (some type of electric music) and we chill on the couch (upstairs in the the living room). I was just sitting there, looking at the walls and ceiling, enjoying the oncoming trip so far. As the night progresses a little, A starts to make weird sounds while standing up and having his eyes closed (he was kinda moving his body as well; I'm guessing he was in some type of trance). Well, my main friend, J, then gets up and asks A if he's doing alright. I told him to sit down in order not to trip A out (my theory is that if you interrupt somebody's trance asking them if they are ok, they will most likely assume things are NOT ok and drift into a negative loop pattern; happened to me before). He didn't, of course, because he is like me and likes control. Since I was at HIS crib I decided not to make a big deal out of it, and just told him to speak in a calm voice. A responded with a confused look on his face, not knowing what's going on. Now, I think I overheard A telling me that he took some GHB (one of his favourites)before the mushies. It took every ounce of will power not to freak the hell out then and there. I mean, I don't know how well Psilocybin and GHB go together, and after all this IS his house (so he is usually the person around to comfort everybody else). J then get's a chair for A to sit down on. He does, and as he starts drifting away again, he's leaning on his shoulder with his head, making these weird noises again, even drooling. I told the rest of the group (3 others) to calm down, and that he is most likely going through a phase of bliss (he would always start to smile and then stop again). A almost falls off his chair, that's when J told him to get on the couch. He did and passed out (probably the GHB). So now it's us four chilling on the same couch. We all squeez together (mind you we all lift weights on the regular, and me at my 190lbs at 5'7" am the lightest guy there; I also happen to be the only one that's still natural/steroid free). I'm tripping heavy now, having very strong Deja Vus (I love it). I love the dream-like state mushrooms give me (I love dreaming and remember most of my dreams, so yeah, you do the math), but at certain times, mostly when I'd look up to the corner between the ceiling and the wall (not between 2 walls and the ceiling) and the corner of the room that was diagonal to me, the wall would start to grow (away from me/in the opposite direction) and that gave me nightmarish feelings. "Is this it, is this how a real nightmare trip begins?" I asked myself, thinking about all the anti-LSD propaganda I had seen and what not (you know, people holding their heads, screaming and all that). However, I quickly snapped out of it by closing my eyes and looking at all those melting colours, seemingly forming different objects. Beautiful! After I opened my eyes again, I could feel this alien-presence, like I'm being watched by extraterrestrials. This overwhelmed me a little, but at the same time it was a very special feeling. I knew then and there that on my next trip I will be using a gemstone called Tektite, which is said to help communicate with extraterrestrial life. I  then decide to go downstairs and get my iPod for some Shpongle action :D I come back up (I know now that I should've stayed downstairs, alone), sit on the couch and dig those plugs into my hears. The vibrations of "Spongle Falls" start to bless my ear drums, aahhh. Since I've been thinking about the Ying and Yang lately, that's what popped up into my mind. I would feel really giggly for a moment, and then the other moment I would be mentally fighting for a good trip again. BANG, it hit me. That's exactly how mother earth (that's my term for 'God' as I'd like to 'praise'/give thanks to something that is around me, as opposed to an invisible 'man' in the sky) feels all the time. I mean, we pick up on the planets vibrations, so it only makes sense that the planet too picks upon  OUR vibrations. I felt like I could feel what every human being was feeling, from anger, to fright, to sadness, to joy and bliss, constantly switching up. Realizing this, the negative thoughts started to ease off, but remained in the background nonetheless.

Another friend beside me, S, was playing music on his phone the whole time (he started off with some sort of rap; instant buzz kill, so I turn my Sphongle louder), and he was always loud and giggling the whole time, sometimes making quick, obnoxious (well, to me it seemed) movements. Every time I that I was just going to say something I started to think of the Ying and Yang. I'm introverted, more so on mushrooms. He's the exact opposite, so he was only playing his role in this game. I also would remember all the personal talks that I had with him one on one. This made stay quite, realizing I am the Ying, and he is the Yang. We complete each other. Throughout the night, J would take out one of my earplugs 3 times (I could've taken his head off, but I know he wanted to share something with me that was important to him, so that made it worthwhile to listen and not flip out | Also, we are very very good friends, similarly raised by similar dads; raised by control freaks, so that's another reason I would listen). He babbled something about love, and really, I could feel the love off of him since our legs were touching, but his words didn't make much sense. I told him that "words make it no justice" and he just said "yeah, that's it" and smiled. I put my earplugs back in, and after a while he takes them out again (I'm annoyed of course), and then he tells me that when he looks at me, he sees a little boy that just wants to be hugged and loved (this is very much true, as my father could barely show his love for me growing up). At that moment I just started shedding tear after tear and we held each other for quite a while (keep in mind, NONE of us is gay, except for A, who is still passed out). It felt good; I felt loved. We just went back and forth telling each other how much we loved one another (I'm very positive that this has something to do with my Rose Quartz). I put my ear plugs back in and closed my eyes, again looking at melting landscapes, full of colours. After a while I take the plugs out again (that's one of my problems with mushrooms, restlessness; I can't wait for summer to just run through the woods all frying :D), and ask the guys if they all want to go outside in the garden. Everybody starts laughing and saying "Yeah!" in a really exciting manner, like I just invented hot water or something. Of course, I'm the first one to speed to the door, put my shoes on, and dash out the door. The sky was all dark and was moving beautifully. I started to think about the E.T.'s again, feeling their presence in a way (which is frightening to some degree, as these are beings, I believe, intelligent to the point beyond of human contemplation). I sit on the wet grass with my legs crossed and just look up into the sky, getting that nightmarish feeling again. I was starting to think that "tonight, I might die" (this was because every scene I was witnessing was a Deja Vu, and I thought that if I'm thinking these thoughts again, it must be true; silly, right?) Now, remember, this was on Sunday, so I knew I had to go back home earlier than normal since I had school the next day. I could've easily went later, but I was trying to avoid a conversation with my parents, especially my father since I could never explain to him the mental state I'm in. This is when things started to get a little irritating. I knew I could NEVER go with the bus alone, I'd have a total freak-out. I believe we are all connected and are able to pick up on each other's emotions, and I did NOT want to pick up somebody's fright and go bananas in front of a full bus ;P So I asked my friend if he "wanted to go?" He just looked at me weird and asked "Go where?", so I'm thinking "Fuck, I'm the only one that's leaving...I need to find a good plan!" By now, A is up again and looking a lot fresher than before, realizing what's going on again. He saw me getting a little worried about finding a way home, so, as he always does, he offered me a ride (he's like a father figure to me, always there when you need him), and I joyfully accepted . Though this joy soon disappeared and this time I knew hat I was going to die in a car accident, and there's no way of avoiding it. I was saying Good-Byes to my friends, and when they asked me where I'm going I told them "I'm going home." Now, frying out of my mind, I thought home meant going back to where I originally came from, and that scared the living hell out of me. I don't believe in the fortune-cookie-type-of-fate; I think our life is planned out. Realizing this made it easier for me to just get in the car. I mean, if I'm dying tonight, there is no escaping it, so I might as well just go with the flow (the reason I'm scared of death isn't leaving this place, but leaving my mother and father and siblings and all my loved ones with all these questions behind, and not being able to tell them "I love you" for a last time). So in the car I turn to A and tell him that I have the feeling that I'm dying tonight. He just looked at me and told me "Oh no, you're going to live for a long time :)". I can't describe to you how much relief this sentence brought me. I wasn't at total ease, but I was ready to sit back and go home. He drove off and started talking to me, telling me how I'm always worrying too much, especially about things that I cannot control (he was totally right, this is exactly the type of person I am). He told me that I'm too beautiful of a human being to be that worried all the time. I knew he was right, I mean, why should I worry all the time, the things that are supposed to happen will do so either way. Ying and Yang was back in my head. I like to think of myself as a person who's woken up, being in touch with nature and what not; I also try to talk to people, loved ones and strangers, and try to give them a different point of view on life (you know, trying to get them to look past money, 'bitches', a big house, and all that 'American Dream' bullshit). As Geroge Carlin once said, “The reason they call it the American dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.” I started to think of myself as a child of the earth who found his way back to his mother, and all these power seeking entities (the Elite, Masons, Illuminati, whatever you want to call them) were just my brothers and sisters who got lost and never found their way home again. I realized that most likely, the world will never be "fully awakened", as there is always going to be people who stay asleep. Again, Ying and Yang. The awakened and the sleeping. There needs to be both to really appreciate your own stand in life. I mean, to your average, money-chasing (sorry for categorizing my fellow human beings) individual, my world/reality is just as bizarre to him/her, as his/her world/reality is to me. At this point I was just laying back in my seat, opening and closing my eyes from one moment to the other, trying to comfort myself. A was holding my hand for most of the ride, and this really helped me to keep my cool. I doubt that he has a thing for me (remember, he's gay), but even if he does, that didn't/doesn't bother me. I know he's the type of individual to put our friendship first. Now, we are on the highway, and at a branch-off of the four lanes (two going left [which is the one he usually takes], and two going right), and he accidentally took the right lanes. I told him that it's ok, he could just use the next exit and we would be back on track (so, to clear things up, both directions go to my house). Ying and Yang again; two different paths lead to the same destination (which goes hand in hand with my theory of fate. Whatever road you decide to take, you will eventually end up where you were supposed to anyways. The funny thing is, he missed that exit, so he had to take the one after that, get back onto the highway, and drive back. We were close to my house now and I wanted to tell him how much I appreciated the 'pep-talk' and everything he did for me [that night]. At this moment, he pulls over, without me saying anything, and tells me that he wants to give me a hug. I gladly do so, and while we are hugging he tells me that "This is not even drugs right now, just pure love." I agreed with him, I could feel the love. It feels good :) So he drove me back home, I tell him goodbye and open the door. Still frying I decide that I'm just going to say 'Hello' to everybody and go directly to my room. I know that my trip could turn bad any second if I get asked a question like "Are you ok?", so I say 'Hi' to everybody and make my way to my room. I kick back on my bed, decide I want to listen to some Terence McKenna (a lecture I already saw, but still, tripping would make it a lot more interresting - for anybody interested: javascript:nicTemp(); ) I just layed there on my bed in awe of this man's genius mind. I would pause sometimes to put on a little Mozart. Every time one of the parts was finished and Terence's voice disappeared, I felt a little uncomfortable, until I realized that I just had to click for the proceeding part.