Most intense and spiritually profound experience I have ever had on high dose shrooming
I'm one of those people that had fallen in love with the shroom experience ever since i first tried it. ever since then i have shroomed on doses ranging from 4-6 grams (always lemon tek'd because i like the intensity of trip it gives and i almost never trip when i don't use the tek) i have probably tripped over 15-20 times total and have had amazing good trips and a few really torturous bad trips, but I never regret those trips as I learn so much about my limitations and what problem are buried deep in my mind to deal with. After those harsh trips i always feel like a million bucks when they are over and i feel that since the experience didn't kill me it made me stronger mentally.
This night i decided to do 5 grams lemon tek'd, i was not sure about the potency of these shrooms since it was a new batch but it had been a long time so i was in the mood for a strong experience. I prep my shroom drink and boldly drink it in 1 gulp (im quite used to the unpleasant taste). After washing my mouth out i begin to play bioshock 2 (video game) but after 10 mins im feeling the magic kicking in. I then go upstairs and play piano for a few minutes and it sounds EXTREMLY amazing. After im feeling it come on even stronger to the point where the piano was getting to intense to play.
This is where stuff gets crazy.
i walk back into my brother's room (he isn't home) and im not tripping that hard at the moment, there are patterns in my CEV but nothing too amazing, so i begin to look at myself in the mirror and i close my eyes.
There was just blackness in my head but then all of the sudden out of no where, the HUGE pattern entity EXPLODES into my mind, it is most real vivid CEV i have ever had, the best i can describe what it looked like is that it took up all the space in my mind and it was some sort of 3D entity that was made up of extremely complex patterns that was made of geometric patterns, faces, souls and seemingly everything visual in the world, but the pattern did not just have visual components it was also made out every feeling in the world like joy, fear, happiness, horror, etc.
I instantly believed this entity was everything, it was essentially god and then i was overcome with a feeling i have never felt in my life some sort of extreme spiritual euphoria, when i quickly open my eyes and i went from not having any OEV to EVERYTHING GOING CRAZY, i have never had OEV come on that quick and i thought it was due to the godly entity i encountered, suddenly my attention is drawn to other beings when my eyes were open, this time they seemed like aliens and there were three of them and for some reason i got the feeling that they were trying to warn me of grave danger and that the world was in trouble but i wasn't exactly sure what they were saying was going to happen i just know its going to be pretty bad.
i was a little bit frightened by their warning but i hope that its not as bad as i think. I close my eyes and the god entity was still in full force so i decide to study it. the more i focused on it the more i felt i basically fused my consciousness inside this entity, and i became it. during this i snap out of it and notice that i was standing in one spot swaying violently.
I decide to go to bed to study and go further into the entity.
What was strange was that the deeper i went into the being the more i felt like i was dying and that to see this far into the entity you must be dead. i begin to get a bit of anxiety because i couldn't feel myself breathing anymore, wasn't sure if i needed to go to the washroom (thought i might have pissed myself), my bed sheets wouldnt stop moving around everywhere and when i try to open my eyes to see the real world all i see is the entity totally taken over my vision. all i saw was god space when my eyes were open and close. i didn't know where i was and i was convinced that i somehow forgot to breathe and sufficated and i was dead. I felt very sad because I didn't want to go and I felt that my time should not be up as I still had a lot of my life to live. I prayed to the entity to let me live and that i didn't want to be dead yet.
During this time the entity is giving me every feeling possible, one after another, happiness, fear, anixety etc. and it showed me how much suffering there is in the world and i felt all that suffering intensly. I was wondering why bad thing in the world like suffering and torture have to exist and the only thing i could do is focus all my mind energy on the positive things and everything that makes the universe good. I noticed that i had extreme ego death and had soon abandoned every part of my personality and was left with just conciousness, buried deep inside this mysterious entity. I wasn't thinking anymore, i was just observing and this made me feel like i can rest in peace. In a unknown amount of time i begin to "get myself back" and i get the idea to fight for my life and that it is me who decides if im dead or not. Suddenly i can see my room again, i think in my mind that if i want to be alive, a good way to show that would be to feed myself something because dead people dont need to eat or drink and if i do i must be alive so quickly i jump for the first thing i can find on my desk which was a pretty old cup of water, i sipped on it anyways. I then feel amazing joy to be alive and to be human. When i went to the washroom to pee, i felt re-born like my soul was put into my body for the very first time.
This experience i feel has been the most profound experience of my life and i just love EVERYTHING.
p.s. - I also experienced myself being petted like a kitten by some other entity that i was not able to see but i felt it touching me and it was whispering in my ear, during this I also was hearing some sort of high frequency humming noise, it seemed like my brain was sending out some sort of satellite signal.