Last week, me and my best friend I have at college decided that on the weekend we would eat magic mushrooms. He has already done it twice, but this was going to be my first experience. I was excited, and eagerly looking forward to it. So Saturday came along, but we had to go and buy the little suckers first. He's girlfriend got off work at 20:00, and since she had a 'friend', we had to wait for her to get off, and meet up with me to go and make the 'exchange' go through. We did that and arrived at my friend's house at around 22:30, where we went straight to business. He started to scale out all of our doses. I requested only a gram at first and started chewing them. I chewed on them for about 5 minutes and swallowed them. We were watching TV, and I was getting bored. The effects were taking long kick in, and I ate a big meal before going out the house (Meat, Pasta, and Potatoes), so I decided to eat the rest of my dose, 2.5g, instead of waiting until I get high. After a while, let's say 20 minutes, I begin to feel a little funny, but nothing unpleasant...it actually felt good, just different. Matrix Revolution came on, but we decided to watch the first movie out of the trilogy while tripping, would be a cool experience we thought. So his girl goes into the basement to look for it, but doesn't return, so about 15 minutes after she went down my friend followed her, and shortly after I did too. When I came down they were packing a bowl, and I decided to take a couple of hits as well. I rolled a joint with the rest of the weed we had, and by then I was getting LIFTED! I had trouble concentrating on rolling (mind you I'm usually a phenomenal roller). I took me quite a bit of effort to finish rolling, but it turned out well. So I was pretty high by now, and objects I looked would have a light green shade around them.
All of a sudden I start to have very bad/depressing thoughts, and they were getting worse. I realized that I was starting to trip in a bad way, but it didn't help. The realization didn't make my thoughts stop. They started with me being scared of demons, or angered spirits (I have had experiences with such entities before), and this really started to scare me. I constantly thought about life, and that nothing I did really mattered. I have never had such clarity, and depth of thought, but it still frightened me to a very unpleasant point. I remember of somehow always reflecting my thoughts back onto death. I threw the lighter on the table and said that I didn't want to watch the Matrix anymore, but instead I wanted to watch a comedy to bring me up. I felt suicidal for a second or two, but this feeling faded slowly, remained in the back of my mind however. As fast as these rashes of unpleasant thoughts flew through my head, they started to slowly fade. I was relaxed again, feeling good. I felt lost in time and space, if that makes any sense to you. Nothing seemed to matter, and I looked at myself, and every other human being, as a program so to speak. I had an idea. I thought that if time was infinite, maybe we all, after the decay of our physical body, would be replanted on earth, as to try out a new program. I looked at it as being born into all kinds of different situations, some more fortunate than others (I kept on thinking that in my next life I might be born as an Indian boy, working hard physical labor from a small age, and that made me appreciate my childhood a lot more). I was chilling back on the couch as we were watching the movie, and lit up my L. Inhaled, and blew out the smoke, very much enjoying it. I was breathing heavily now (as I did the whole night during my trip; this is going to be relevant later on). The L got passed around and we spread the smoke around the room. I was laying back enjoying all the different colors in the room, not really paying big attention to the movie. I looked at a thick cloud of smoke and thought that I saw the shape of a dragon. As I was looking at the smoke, and absorbing the different colors I suddenly had the feeling of dwelling in multiple realms, or dimensions at the same time. It is SO hard for me to explain this feeling, but it was simply MIND BLOWING! Picture taking maybe 2-3 sheets of plastic foil. On the first one, you draw the objects in the room (physical realm/dimension) and place it on the table. Then you place the second foil above it and draw the smoke, and different auras around the objects. On the third foil you draw all kinds of color patters, flowing into each other, but every color has it's main place on the foil (i.e. Orange is in the top right corner, but fades into the colors surrounding it.) Now lay them on top of each other, start with number 3 on the bottom, then number 1 in the middle, and finally number 2 on top. This the picture that I had in my head, but without the thoughts and feelings that would add to the experience. This is the best I can do in describing it visually. When it came to feelings, I felt like there were many different entities, not any specific entities, or one's I would identify (keep in mind this was just a feeling, NOT visual), and I'm not saying they were paying attention to us either...but I just felt, for a couple of minutes, that all these 'realms' I thought I was experiencing where existing in harmony at the same time, and I was somewhere in-between them. I'm telling you, I felt overwhelmed, in a good way however, by this experience and enjoyed it as long as it lasted.
These enlighten moments didn't hold on forever, and I found myself in a depressing mood soon after. I looked back into the corners of the basement, and felt like I was in a really bad nightmare, with some sort of a 'clown theme'; scary stuff. I told my friend I'd like to go upstairs into the living room, as the basement made me feel uncomfortable (actually I felt sad and lonely, didn't say that though). He looked at me and said that we both are having the same kind of high/experience. We kept on talking for a little, and I asked him if physically my legs were shaking. He touched them, but couldn't tell right away (as he was STONED out of his mind; he ate around 5g); however he verified that I WAS in fact shacking. I was in a rush now to go upstairs and check the internet for these kinds of symptoms. As I opened the internet browser my hearing began to muffle (picture having those Ear Plugs in your ear that cover most of the sound from outside) and my vision became slightly blurry. I felt like I was going inside my head, and now I was frightened to a point that I have never experienced in my life. This was the moment where I was convinced that there was a big chance of me dying that night. The internet browser wasn't responding, and I was growing more and more impatient, until I decided to leave the computer alone, and go to relax on the couch. I found my friend trying to make himself throw up, and I had the exact same feeling, however I tried to manipulate it into a pleasant one, and I DID. But this feeling faded quick, as I sat onto the couch. I was panicking, already had 911 ready on my phone to be dialed. My friends kept on telling me to calm down, so I eventually did, but I accidentally dialed 911. All of a sudden I hear a voice out of the phone, it was the emergency service asking if there was an actual 'emergency'. My friend's girl took the phone and settled it quick. We were laughing now at how over exaggerating I acted. Now I can't remember 100% what happened next, but I'll try my best. I guess I somehow got up and tried to walk to the kitchen. I found myself walking up some stairs, and was in a long, dark hallway. All of a sudden I hear "Are you okay?!", and I open my eyes. I was laying on the floor, next to the kitchen's entrance. I got up (I don't even know how I managed to do that) and threw myself on the sofa. They were both looking at me in a shocked manner, telling me I was on the floor having a mild seizure. I wasn't able to recall any of that (remember I was walking in a long dark hallway, but I realized after that these were visuals I had when my eyes were closed, because in my visuals I went up a couple of stairs, but in the physical realm there were no stairs on my way to the kitchen). Also, I kept on begging my friend to call the owner of the house, because he was the alpha dog of the house, and the most secure presence in the house. I remember now thinking that I might die tonight, fearing that I would leave my physical body and not return to it. I started to think about my family, especially my dad (I always had trouble getting along with my dad, still do), but at this moment I appreciated in him more than I could put in words. I thought that if I really was going to leave this realm for good, I would want him to know that I love him. My little brother was also going through my head. At one point I became 'comfortable' with the thought that if it was my time to go tonight, then so shall it be. I figured that dying on a trip is a lot better than, let's say, a bullet in my head, or a speeding car. It really sounds messed up, but that's how I got happy again, and my trip was merging into the right lane once again.
Now for the remainder of the evening my trip was always on the verge of a good feeling and a slightly unpleasant one. I was laying back on the couch now, and we where watching infomercials, as it seemed to calm us down a little. Now my friend lived with 2 roommates, the owner of the house who has two dogs, and another friend. The dogs were very uneasy this evening. One of the dogs, 'Trapper' was his name, kept on barking at me. Now this is nothing new, since me and him aren't always best buddies, but he was behaving different on that night. It's like he knew there was something not right/different. I also remember that always when this slightly unpleasant feeling came back, Trapper started to bark again, most of the times looking at me. At around 3:00am the owner came back, and I'm sure I can talk for all three of us when I say that we all felt a small sense of relief. The guy in charge was back, and he brought a feeling of safety with him. When he came in, he knew right away we were F*CKED up (mind you he was rolling on MDMA and liquor). He sat down and started to watch TV with us. Even with him back, the dogs, especially Trapper, were still considerably edgy. He [Trapper] kept on coming back to me whenever these little buggers (feelings of slight unpleasantness) popped back in my mind, and started to bark. At one point he came very close, and I was uneasy for a second. I then decided to shift my thoughts towards feelings of trust and acceptance for Trapper. What happened next was a very special moment for me. He reached up to me with his front legs, placing them on my lap, and I started to pet him with an 'intensity' I haven't done before (I could press a lot harder and 'fool' around with him, so to speak). It was as if I had made a connection with some sort of being (whether it was his or someone else's). I then decided to shift my thoughts back to mistrust and doubt for the dog, and what do you know, he's back on the floor again, showing his teeth and growling. I wasn't mad at all that this connection didn't last a little longer, but was pleased it had happened it the first place....remember all good things must come to an end. My friend's girl mentioned the dogs being very nervous, and this is when the owner said that it has probably something to do with Aaron, the girl who died in the house [many] years back, at the tender age of 17. He said that she died having trouble breathing, and BAM, this is where it hit me like a sledge hammer. Right away I remembered having to take deep breaths as to feel comfortable, and that breathing during my whole trip was very difficult to do. I tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and came to my conclusion that she must have been our guide through this journey, as we all had similar emotions/thoughts at the same times. She gave me all kinds of highs: Relaxation, Depression, 'Suicidal', Enlightening (to a certain extent of course), Panic, feelings of Death being close, Happy, and Appreciation as well. Once I realized this there were no more feelings of anything unpleasant. And although I had peaked a while ago, I was still pretty stoned. I loved her for the experiences she gave me. I think the feeling of close death was to make me appreciate the gift of a physical existence, as I was deeply terrified by the thought of falling into the 'Big Sleep'.
As everybody went to sleep, I was relaxing on the couch in the basement. I packed the last bowl that I had, went out for a cigarette, and laid down on the couch, getting ready for sleep [after this magnificent experience]. As I thought of Aaron, and how I was 'dancing' with her all night, energy began to flow through my whole body. Since I meditate this isn't anything new, but the intensity of my [or her] energy flow was considerably stronger than usual. I felt ready to sleep, and I had sweet dreams that night, with many wonderful women... :)
Funny enough, according to Wikipedia, Aaron (I looked it up under "Aaron" as in Moses' brother) means Enlightened, Exalted, One of Light. I'm far from being enlightened, but I still had a clarity of mind I've never had before. Just thought this was an amusing 'coincidence' to throw in there. Also, as I believe that she WAS in fact guiding me through my first trip, I chose to got with her name as my user account, hence Aaron Eruditus (the Enlightened) :P
I didn't get the visuals I was hoping/looking for, but something else instead that was overwhelming , but priceless in its own way.
I hope this wasn't too long, but I really like to express myself as good as I can. I could've probably added a lot more stuff, but I'm happy with what I got down, I'm going to leave it at that. I love 'shrooms' and I'll definitely be tripping soon enough (I still got 8.5g's hanging around at home).
GOD (or ONE) bless you, Magic Mushrooms, and the experience I have made.