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I am Everything

Most interesting trip in four years.

This is actually my first post.  I have been reading these forums for a while, but just recently joined.  My last trip was so meaningful, I decided to share it.  Hope its not too long, hope you enjoy it.

 It was about 10:15pm when I just got off work on Friday night.  I had about 2g of Cyans I had been drying all week, after picking them on Monday and Tuesday.  I walked to a friend%u2019s house, and upon arrival, immediately downed the whole amount.

 (I have been eating shrooms for about 4 years now, sometimes every few months, sometimes multiple times a month).

 My friend, "M" and I then decided to take a walk to another friend's house, to of course, buy a bag.  At this other house, we talked about our favorite trips so far, music, movies, smoked some bud, and were all generally merry...a pretty awesome Friday evening.  At this point, I still hadn't felt anything, but was pretty good and stoned.

 It was about 11:00pm when we arrived back at M's house, and I sat on the couch, watching M as he loaded up his Wii with Mario Galaxy 2 (a great game to watch stoned by the way).  Rubbing my hands together, and staring down at the carpet, I felt as if I could start to see the creeping of my good old' friend "shroud pattern" from across the room.  It slowly started to grow, but was almost unnoticeable still at this point.  The room lights also began to cast a more vivid shade of yellow across the M, and his now present roommates L and T, who had begun loading a fresh bowl of the bud we just picked up.  

 It%u2019s about 11:10pm now and I'm wondering about my day.  Everyone in the room is talking about the game, laughing and enjoying themselves as they stonedidly attempt navigating the level they're playing.  I suddenly hear a flash of lighting (yes...hear a flash of lighting) and my entire body begins to vibrate, like when you get a chill running down your spine.

 Stoned, I begin arguing with my body, which seems to now have a mind of its own.  It wants to go outside, but I don't want to go outside...  To appease my body, I make a deal with it, saying we'll walk around the block.

 Once outside however, the world is a very different place.  Deep pulsating music is playing (in my head) and deep ominous laughter fills the air.  I felt like the trees were asking me to do something I shouldn't, and promptly told them "I no longer feel like hanging out with you old fogeys, I'm going back inside".

 Once back inside, greeted by Larry moa and curly, stoned beyond belief, I take a brief moment to sit in the dark bathroom.  Another trace sign of the building trip happens in here.  Things begin running backwards, forwards, and time begins to lose all meaning...


 I walk back into the living room and plop on the couch, smiling ear to ear.

 I watch the ceiling and the floor as they begin dancing...the fibers on the carpet and the speckling on the ceiling respirates...slowly expanding and contracting to the rhythm of my breath.  I make a silly remark about how the couch is breathing funny...It really was...poor couch.  

 I close my eyes for a moment and the classic three-dimensional visuals are already dancing around inside my eyes.  I form shapes similar to the old game QBERT, which are pink and purple.  I open my eyes immediately though because I feel like I'm cheating for some reason...too soon I decided, I have to let my eyes want to close by themselves.  I lie back on the couch and allow the TV to "pulsate at me".  Each flicker of light sends another chill through my body, vibrations which I have come to know and love.  It feels like a deep rumbling movement of tectonic plates shifting below the earth, a deep rumbling that rocks the core of my being, and holds together the little rock called earth that I live on...for now.

 I remember that I have my IPOD in my pocket, and place my headphones over my ears.  I first listen to some Shpongle, which is interesting, but the mushrooms don't want to dance to Shpongle.  So I switch to an eclectic song by Jesca Hoop called "Seed of Wonder", and boy am I glad I did.


 As the song starts, my eyes, like I was expecting, close by themselves and I sink into a deep deep ocean.  I see 3D wire-frame figures of a giant being parting open darkness and climbing into a vast void.  Lights and Colors shimmer and I begin giggling to myself, opening my eyes to check that the real world is still there.  Content with my analysis, I follow the massive being through his darkness.

 Things are somewhat blurry at this point, as I begin reforming myself, sinking my body into the floor, into the couch, pushing my hand through my stomach and out my back.  I feel wet over my entire body, and the vibrations of the earth are stronger, slower, and more intense. I attempt to look around but come to the conclusion that sight is useless.  I don't need to see anything, when I am everything, and I don't need to have anyone, when I am everyone.  I think deeply about the meaning of what the being is teaching me.  I realize, I have died, merging with an all knowing entity, a source.  All of time and space, all that it will ever be, and all that it ever was exists in this one moment.  I am everywhere and nowhere, nothing and everything.  I look down and see my body lying on the couch.  I contemplate why, why I am so attached and rooted to this physical manifestation.  I urge to know why I anchor myself to the physical world.  The entity says I can come with it for a while longer, but that there is purpose to my physical being, and that I should never forget that while I am everything, and everyone, my body is also me, and it%u2019s my way of taking a form.  I enjoy the bliss and pure eternal energy of my new form.  I spawn moments of time from the past and the future, both of my life, and of lives I never lived myself, but have always been a part of.  I raise oceans, observe wars, and feel love, living what felt like 50 lifetimes.  In one moment, everything that could ever happen happened, and it happened all at once in me.  I realized however, that if I am everything, if I am everyone, if everything is the same, then is my existence really necessary?  What is the point of all existence if in this moment I have everything I'll ever need?  I needed someone to share it with.  A separate entity, something not myself, to observe, learn, watch, love, play with.  And so I create life.  I fall into a deep deep sleep now (trip sleep, not real sleep).  Faces of women I've loved or longed for appear to me.  I am searching for someone, and I know they are close.  I have retaken form of my physical entity once again, and am sitting in space pondering...who will I travel this physical world with, and can I bring her here...I am me, I am everything.

 An omnipotent and unintelligible voice begins speaking.  It sounds like someone is talking in slow motion, and the all of the universe rumbles.  I am content...humbled...I know nothing any more.  I can't tell if I want to sleep, eat, live, die...I believe I am dead.  I hear the voice once more and I can fully understand it this time.  It tells me that its time to go home and that I can come back later some time should I choose to have tea again.  I say my goodbyes, let existence know that I'll miss it, and let the super being that swallowed me get back to work.

 I open my eyes.

 I am back on the couch, my buddies still playing Mario Galaxy.

 It is now 2am and I'm drenched in sweat.  The shrooms themselves are in full effect still, with visuals and colors still vivid, the faces of my friends very distorted (like the way the world looks when Frodo puts on the ring in the LOTR movies).  

 I understand that I will not be going back to the universe anytime soon, and watch the TV more.

 We later eat T's homemade tacos, and eventually everyone goes to sleep around 3:30am.

 Lights out, lying on the living room couch, I enjoy the comfortable darkness.  There are no more colors in the dark, but music audibly plays in my head, with little splashes of fireworks lulling me to sleep, and I pass out slowly, getting some of the best sleep I had all week.


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