MDMA Overdose

This all happened from before summer 2010 to august 2010.

In june, before the summer, I had broke up with my girlfriend which I had been dating for almost 3 years. It was so crazy and we stopped talking, until august. We started talking about drugs and all that stuff, and I told her I've done MDMA a few times, and she said, "We should do it soon".

So a couple days later I went to her house. It was me, her and her friend all the way from Winnepeg. So I get there, in a good mood ready to do some MDMA. And I'll make this clear right now jsut in case some people didn't notice, MDMA and ecstasy are not the same thing at all! I wasn't hallucinating, seeing colours, seeing things trail or anything like that. It was just fucked up. So we do some, I was the only one parachuting, they were doing some lines. I took a little over a regular dose on the parachute.

After about 20 minutes my legs got that tingly feeling and I knew I was feeling it. I told them that I was kind of feeling it and they told me that they had alot more so they'd make another tiny parachute for me. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!

The parachute may have looked small, but it was loaded. I had only realized it after I swallowed it, and I started to get worried now because I didn't know what was going to happen. I convinced my self I was fine.

Then we went to go get some weed. We did and then we got back and rolled a huge fatty joint. It was only me and my ex because her friend didn't want in on it. My ex asked me if I wanted to hotbox her room, by closing her window and her door and I told her "Sure, why not". So we lit it up and started smoking it. Nothing really happened when we were smoking it. We each smoked about half so a gram each probably. Things after that started to get scary as hell.

I layed down on her bed, and after about 10 minutes, I couldn't move. Nothing but my head could move. I was just sitting there for the whole time with mostly the same facial expression because I was so fucked out of my mind. I couldn't even see properly. It's hard to explain, but you know how you see through your eyes? Just everything is all regular and with your periferal vision. Well for me, it was like there was a huge black ring covering my priferal and some of my main vision. That's what scared me the most.

Then they put on some techno. It wasn't the type of techno I listen to though, it was like crazy dubstep type shit. The song was called Sweet Shop by Doctor P. There is a really freaky high pitched nosie in the song and that brought my anxiety up to full level.

After that things were jsut crazy terrible. My ex was over at her dresser trying to choose a song from her Ipod. She was to fucked out of her mind as well to know what she was doing so she was there for about an hour or over an hour. Her friend was jsut sitting on her laptop. Then she started explaining something that ehr friends were doing on facebook to me ex. It was such a long explanation, but to me it lasted only about 30 seconds because her vioce seemed like it was sped up super fast. It wasn't like her voice was high pitched like she inhaled helium or anything, but it was jsut faster then I've ever heard anybody talk.

After all of this, my ex returned to her Ipod and her friend turned to her laptop and everything was quiet. It was all about me again. Trapped in my own mind. I was not hallucinating, but I was seeing things differently. Lets just say, at one point I looked out the window and all I could see was trees because we were on the second level of her house, I thought we lived in a one room cabin in the middle of the forest and the only way to get out was the window and I thought me and my ex were parents and her friend was our daughter and my ex was cooknig food at her dresser? It was fucked up.

Then after that only 2 things happened for the next hour or 2. I kept having that exact same though that i just explained about the cabin and being parents and shit. It's like life was repeating itself over and over. It made the second thing worse. The second thing was, I was so fucked out of my mind that I just kept thinking to myself, "Let me out of this trip, I'm so scared", but I knew it wasn't going to end after a while, if it even ended or if I came out alive even. I was so out of it that I was so scared and that was all I was thing, but I was just to fucked to even say anything or look scared or do anything about it. It was honestly one of the most scariest experiences of my life, if not the scariest.

After that was finally over, we decided to go outside. I was happy because I could finally get my mind off of me and I was also able to move and my visionwa s getting better. I was coming down, I was surviving. After I had sat up, I had crazy nausea. I felt like I was going to puke everywhere. I managed to hold it in somehow. I drank some water and took a few steps and then I was good, but still trippin' hard. We walked to a park nearby and sat on the bench. I was sweating and realized that I was still tripping hard and i wa still scared because it has been around 5 hours now and my hard tripping usually only last for about 2 or 3.

I then realized my momw as coming to pick me up in around 5 minuets so we walked back. As soon as I got in the car, I was coming down, and by the time I was home I was normal. I had the worst depression ever though.

That whole experience I think has damaged me permanantly. I still feel sick most days, I feel like I'm trippin' on it sober, and even more on weed, and my legs and feet tingle like crazy 24/7. Is this going to last forever? Leave a comment, tell me what you think about all this.