I recently just did mushrooms and before that I had chewed them about 6 or 7 times. I have never had a bad trip and before last monday I hadn't done mushrooms for a year. Now in this year was really into coke and MDMA and from the last time doing coke (In feburary) I developed a very bad anxiety disorder and I am just starting to get over it now. But before I chewed those mushrooms on monday... I was not in the right midset and was having anxious feelings about having a bad trip.
When I was about to chew the mushrooms and didn't want to them any more and my boyfriend got upset with me because the whole day I was so excited and then all of a sudden I didn't want to them anymore. But then I didn't want to make my boyfriend unhappy and I felt bad so I decided when you and you and your friend start to feel something and tell me how it is and I see your okay, I will chew them.
Well, I didn't wait until they started tripping and I just decided I would chew a gram so I don't trip out uncontrollably. 10 mintues later I started to feeling that feeling in your leg you get and a tingly feeling eveywhere. I told my self that I would just have to get though this and make the best of it. My bf and his friend were already tripping and started to get all pissed at eachother and I was starting to feel really happy. I told my self, I am not going to let the guys take away my happiness and anxiety-free mind!
We all went into a foresty part of our city and wanted to start a fire ( it was about 9 30 pm). While we were walking through the trail I was looking up at the sky, I was looking at all the trees that had lost most of their leaves and I remember it being so beautiful and the sky was a purple colour and what my eyes were seeing was so beautiful and magnificent! While I was feelings this, the guys were so quiet and I was getting a lot of negative energy radiating from them. Then my bf found where we were going to chill and trip for the night. There was already a fire pit and a big tree log for seat. I had also brought a blanket so we could lay down and look at the sky.
While my bf and I were trying to find fire wood (which was all wet and soggy), his friend was laying on the blanket just drowning in his scary thoughts and I told him, why dont you just help find some dry wood for our fire and not just for the sake of having a fire but so that you can get out of his scary thoughts.
He just told me to get himself out my head which I thought was funny because that didn't make any sence.
FINALLY we get a good fire going after an hour of failing to get a fire started and my bf and I just layed there staring up at the sky. I was thinking wow, I am feeling so good right now, better than I've felt in a long time . I had no thoughts of scary things, or feelings of dying or anything. I just had thoughts of love and peace and feeling one with nature. I think I have a connection with shrooms. I know that may sound weird but really, I do. You know before anyone does shrooms and they are not in the right mind set, they usually have a bad trip. I was 100 % expecting to have a bad trip and I didn't.
I was just laying there seeing the colours becoming so vibrant and poping out and me and seeing the leaves just waving in the wind. It seemed as they were dancing.
After this experience, I ready to experience shrooms and DMT or anything natural for my spirituality and the experience. Just for a little bit, have the experience of the death of my ego.