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Newfound Respect

Peeking down the rabbit hole



Name: yokken
Gender: Male
Substance(s) taken: LSD, mushrooms, weed
Dose(s) and method of administration: 1 hit 150ug , 2.5g ground up in OJ, ~1g over the course of the day but mostly before/during the trip
Weight: 220lb/100kg
Time of dose(s) (AM/PM): 3PM, 6PM, all day
Experience year: 2010
Previous experience: 1 hit two days prior but failed trip (see below), .5g two days prior, large amounts of bud smokeage. 2x 2C-E 20mg oral, 1x 2C-E 40mg oral.
Preparations: I "fasted" a bit throughout the day, that's about it.
Advice: Treat mushrooms with healthy fear and respect.

Name: B
Gender: Male
Substance(s) taken: Mushrooms, weed
Dose(s) and method of administration: 1.75g ground up in OJ, ~1g like yokken
Weight: 180lb/82kg
Time of dose(s) (AM/PM): 4PM, all day
Experience year: 2010
Previous experience: None, large amounts of bud smokeage

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I'm gonna make this part quick. I possibly fucked up my acid trip with the comedown of my .5g shroom trip on Tuesday. This trip happened on Thursday night, 10/21. I only waited two days between trips, hoping my acid trip wouldn't be TOO diminished. Well, the same thing happened as before--I stopped coming up at about T 1h30m. I definitely felt different and a few things had changed, but I stopped coming up. I waited until about T 3h before I said fuck it, and ate the shrooms to trip with my friend/roommate B. I took about 90 minutes to come up, around T 4h30m (7:30pm) I started coming up hard as we went outside to have a cig. At this time B is tripping hard and having a great time. Our pupils are endless black holes. While we were coming up we watched the G-Force visualizer on my other roommate's laptop (hooked up to the TV, third party visualizer SO FUCKING COOL and way better than the standard iTunes one) with some great songs that I threw on a playlist earlier in the day.

next-day edit: I was reading a 200mg mescaline trip report on Erowid and the guy described something during his come-up that I remember distinctly now that I was reminded of:
At the beginning of the second hour to the third hour, some new experiences became apparent to me: every breath that I took felt as though I were REALLY breathing, as though I was not just a puppet to the automaton machinery that is housed inside my body.
I remember taking each breath gratefully, like a man who hasn't tasted fresh air in 20 years. Each breath was deep, full, and rewarding... it only lasted for about 5 minutes, and I noticed it after forgetting to breathe. It was an incredible feeling. Onto the rest of the story.

B and another friend M (not tripping) decide they want to walk to Jimmy John's, so we walk the 5 minutes there. M goes inside to buy a sandwich while B and I stand outside and finish our cigs and talk about our trips. All we could really say was "holy fuck dude... so intense." At this point M comes out and asks us if we want to sit inside with him while he eats. B somehow gets the balls to approach the counter with his irises missing and orders a sandwich. I promptly walk to the back of the shop and sit in a booth, facing away from the entrance. Thank God I had my music on my phone with me... I'm pretty sure I would've geeked out if I didn't. B and M come over and eat their sandwiches and talk while I drift away into Shpongleland.

At this point I realize how hard I'm coming up and blast off. The walls of Jimmy John's are checkered black and white tile, in 1 inch by 1 inch squares. These start warping and taking on some RGB colors (I get these in all my trips so far) as they split and morph. My music is the only thing keeping me "sane" at this point. I've tripped hard before but nothing really prepares you for tripping balls. B and M finish their sandwiches and we dip the fuck out and walk back to our room. This is where a lot of my trip happened.

The visuals were cool but not necessarily as fascinating or cool as the ones I had on 2C-E. What really dominated the trip was not the almost-too-intense body high, but the introspection that I couldn't escape. I remember having the same series of thoughts/ideas that kept coming back whenever they felt like it. I tried to keep myself on a schedule, meaning I said "okay, I'm gonna go have a cig, come back, roommates are ordering pizza and that will be delicious, and then we can just chill and everything will be great." However, no matter how hard I tried to keep myself on that path, I kept getting distracted with things and my journey which would've taken 5-10 minutes sober took me 45min-1hr while tripping, because my mind would start going crazy again and I'd forget to go do my shit.

My whole MO for tripping is not simply for recreation, but for self-betterment and to expand my mind. The introspection from the shrooms was exactly what I was looking for, but damn, it was intense. I don't feel like I experienced anything lifechanging, but I thought a lot about:
  • How much I slack in school, how I'm probably going to fail and fuck shit up with my parents,
  • How I'm doing the shrooms on the weekend because that's when I don't have class, but I still have to think about schoolwork,
  • How much shit I have to do and I'm spending almost every weekend smoking and drinking and not giving a fuck,
  • How it's good to not worry about everything, but how I don't give enough of a fuck about anything that actually matters,

and other stuff like that. But those are the ones that I remember thinking about repeatedly. I also experienced some weird things, like smoking cigs during the trip was so "routine" that I didn't realize how many I went through (almost a whole pack to myself in one night, I never do this) and the day after I had a cig in the morning and I recall thinking "why the fuck am I inhaling this, it feels so weird/foreign" and stuff like that. I didn't buy a new pack, just got some snus to hopefully kill cravings. Maybe this trip was the catalyst to helping me quit.

I got some good introspection, but I'm looking for even more. I planned on doing 3.5g for my first time and I can't imagine how intense that is. I'm sure it'll be better next time when I do it, considering how much I learned about tripping on shrooms, and how to better accomodate for next time.

One part I remember was my roommate P throwing on Pirates of the Caribbean. I wasn't in the mood for a movie whatsoever, so I went into my room and turned off the lights and climbed up into my bed to hopefully think some more and listen to some music. I listened to music and enjoyed it but for some reason couldn't relax enough to think about subjects that I wanted to think about. Kinda just laid there and tripped, got out of bed like 45 minutes later and went into the other room where the movie was just finishing. B had already come down a lot and was just chilling on the futon. He didn't elaborate much on his trip, other than agreeing with "lots of visuals" and "lots of thinking". He kept describing the trip as gnarly; "this is SO gnarly dude" etc.

But here's where it went bad. I was laying on the futon (we had made it into a bed) just watching the visualizer and listening to some chill music while I came down, or so I thought I was. My roommate P comes in, talking about how my friend M (from before) went to a hall meeting in his dorm, where they announced that they located and pinpointed a room in his hall that was selling drugs. M got sketched the fuck out and gave us all his shit and went to clean his room. Meanwhile P is throwing a huge fit and saying that WE should be sketched out too, because they could've seen him give his stuff to us, and then they would search our room... do you see where this is going? I start thinking in my head oh god, this is it. They'll find my mushrooms, my growbags, the bong, the grinder, my friend M's stuff, they're going to find everything... I'm so fucked... etc. And just giving up inside and feeling helpless. I ask B for reassurance that they would NOT come knocking, that they were NOT going to search our room... at this point B had come down more than me, and did a good job of comforting me.

After I calmed down a bit, we went for a cig and I threw on a hoodie and my fuzzy moccasins. I had the cig in my hand, and walked out the door with my friends close behind. I got in the door to the stairwell and got a very bad vibe. I turned the fuck around and P said "what's up dude?" I promptly responded with "not feeling it dude, going back." I started tripping HARD again and broke a sweat faster than I ever remember. I could barely get my key back in the door. I came in, put my cig down, quickly put on some calm happy music and laid on the futon and took my shirt off. I was glistening with sweat at this point, with beads of sweat running down my face. It scared the fuck out of me and I promise you I didn't try to leave after that.

Later in the night when I decided to go to bed, we smoked a bowl between P, B and myself. It hit me pretty hard and kicked the trip back a little bit. I started to get the same feeling as when I tried to leave before, so I skipped brushing my teeth and went into my room and threw off my clothes and climbed up in my bed. As I laid down I felt better, and was glad that the trip started to subside again. I was cashed.

The days after a few things are different, and I still think about the cigs and whether I still want to smoke them or not. I've been meaning to quit and maybe this is my chance. I'll be doing 2 hits of acid at once next weekend after a full week of no psychedelics and no weed. I'm pretty sure the weed influenced the trip to a degree.

Looking forward to my next one. B wants to do it again, and I would love to dose at the same time as him this time, so neither of us is behind the other. After this trip though, I have DEFINITELY gained a lot of respect for shrooms that I previously did not have, and I now have a healthy fear of the power they hold.
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