Gods, a message of danger - 10g

While the memory of the whole event is naturally kind of blurry, I will do what I can to describe everything and anything that I do remember.

I was introduced to mushrooms by a friend in a very unlikely setting - drunk in a party, this one (sober - absolutist) guy walks up to me after hearing me talk with some people about some philosophical issues, and asks me if I know anything about mushrooms. Then he tells me he knows of this website where you can order growkits from, and asked me if I was interested. I didn't know anything about mushies back then, but I ordered some boxes during the next week. I don't think I found mushrooms, I believe they found me... The universe works through coincidences anyway.

I immediately fell in love with the experience, and started experimenting infrequently but often ever since that day. It was about one and a half years ago, and now I have had more than one hundred experiences - ranging from small to mind-blowing. I enjoy the strong experiences more. The mushrooms that go around here are Psilocybe Cubensis Cambodians, and more recently the B strain as well.

I think Terence McKenna was right when he said that beginners don't get huge experiences. It's like the mushrooms decide when they let you further in through the door that they open. Only recently (during the last couple of months) have I started seeing entities and had the possibility of listening and talking to them. Their messages have been pretty ominous so far - I guess they're testing me to see if I'm scared of going further or something along the lines of that. It does seem that the experiences are getting more and more intense, and I have become pretty sensitive to the effects.

I woke up at around 11am to my phone giving me the message tone. It was a good friend of mine, who I shall call John. John asked me if I wanted to trip at his place - "big time". We had been talking about having a big experience together for a while now, and the day seemed right. I had spent the previous evening looking up the UFO-phenomenon (13.10.2010 being the day of the trip and the day of a possible major UFO-sighting according to some sources) and some Timewave Zero-graphs (it seemed like the 13. day would also be one of the tipping points in novelty). I prepared for the trip in any way I could; looking up interesting stuff, speculating on whether or not the day would make the trip somehow special, taking a shower, meditating a little, and at around 3:30pm I started cycling.

When I arrived at John's place, he told me he had MAOI, so I asked him: "so, we're probably gonna dose it from three grams upwards?", to which he answered "what? I was thinking more like ten."

This blew me away, I hadn't even considered ever doing that big of an amount of mushrooms - for one, I believed that after a certain dose it doesn't really matter if you take more. My biggest dose so far had been seven grams about a year ago, and the biggest effect during that trip was the feeling of having eaten a planet. However, after coming to the conclusion of "what the heck, if we're going to take a heroic dose, let's take a Heroic one with a capital H", we drank the MAOI, waited around for an hour and then started eating the mushrooms. Because dried and fresh ones seem to have slightly different effects, we decided to mix both of them - we took about seven dry grams and thirty fresh ones each. This was around 5:25pm.

Now, one thing that I don't agree with on McKenna's explanations is the idea that there's no possibility of the trip starting extremely soon. This cannot be the case, since the first effects that came on were NOT placebos. Sure, the slight buzzing feeling in the head and in the stomach could be, but my first memory of the trip starting is about fifteen minutes after eating the shroomies. I went to the bathroom, and started seeing a red, disc-like form in the upper centre of my field of vision. It was more prominent with closed eyes, but persistently stayed there even when I opened my eyes. The other effects soon followed, and each one was just as intense as the others. Everything was breathing, moving and throbbing. The walls started filling with geometric shapes and the shadows of the room became more diverse. I started getting confused, as I usually do when I'm coming up. The trip would come on in waves that felt extremely exhausting, and then they would float away and leave you looking at the new effects that the waves brought with them.

We went for a cigarette. It was very cold, both of us were shivering. This is another thing that mushrooms apparently do to you; cold feels more intense. Even when we came back inside we couldn't stop shivering, and the house was a warm place. I knew the feeling of cold wasn't "real"; it was because of the mushrooms. Then I remembered something that McKenna had said; "if you don't like something that the mushrooms are giving you, try telling them and ask them if they would ease off." I ended up doing stuff like this a couple of times during the trip, but in any case this was the first time I even tried talking to the "trip". I asked it if it would take the feeling of cold away, and immediately it did. I didn't feel cold, but I didn't feel warm either. It just took away the feeling of temperature and left something else behind - a feeling of emptiness, in a good way. John was still shivering, so I suggested he do the same. He did and was baffled immediately, almost freaked out. "If it's so easy for the trip to take these feelings away, just imagine how easy any feeling might be. We better be careful of what we wish for."

I think this is when we smoked a bomber. It made us a little bit more relaxed, and boosted the trip to new heights. I started seeing creatures - walking on the walls and on the ceiling, coming out of places where they shouldn't be able to. Everything started to have faces; chairs, the sofa, lamps, the computer, the TV - EVERYTHING. Everything was alive. Everything was a hallucination. Everything was real.

I think this is when we started enjoying our senses more. The music sounded awesome, every once in a while we would be thrown back in laughter because the melodies felt so good. We were sensing music in a completely different way. Then we would smoke cigarettes, and almost jizz in our pants because it felt so amazing. Sense of touch was brilliant as well, it felt like you could "sink into" any position and just fall asleep there, drifting into the countless images that we were being shown behind closed eyelids.

It's really hard to tell when the peak arrived, since the effects were so numerous and intense pretty much throughout the whole trip. It did happen at some point, I guess, and it was the most exciting and scary part of the whole thing. We smoked another joint during the peak, which made the trip about ten times stronger. My memory's kind of fuzzy, so I'll just write what I remember. These might not be in the order that they happened in.

Giants: Behind closed eyelids I would see numerous creatures - huge humanoids, giants, three or five or seven of them in a huge space, walking towards me with one hand stretched out, like they were holding something and giving it to me. I could somehow sense them saying "look at this! Look at it!". I would, of course, but I couldn't make sense of what it was that they were holding; when I would concentrate on the palm of the giant's hands, I would see that it was filled with absurd visions, cities, huge creatures, cartoonish landscapes and stuff like that. It didn't really make sense to me, so I quickly shifted my attention towards something else.

Snake-Gods: At some point the visions behind my eyelids had changed. I clearly saw what one might describe as Egyptian Gods. They were females, either nude or in very provocative clothing, somehow priest-like, and their heads were the heads of snakes. I've never been scared or disgusted by snakes, but for some reason these things seemed threatening at times. They would always stand in a formation with one of them, the "Leader" or something like that, up front and the others on the background in a half-circle. I think I remember the one in the front holding a staff of some kind, but I could be remembering wrong.

Crocodile-Gods: This one I remember very clearly since it was linked to a lot of my personal experiences. Whenever I get high on weed, mushrooms or any other thing, or when I'm sober and listening to some audio that's supposed to get you into an altered state of mind, I try to have an out of body-experience. I'm very fascinated by the idea. What I do is, I picture a bright light in front of me, and then concentrate on it. It's usually very far away at first, but the longer I concentrate on it, the closer it gets. I feel like I'm supposed to concentrate on it until I go through it. I guess there's something wrong with this technique though, since I've never had an out of body-experience.

In any case, I decided to try again, since I figured "hey, if I'm this high, I might be able to do it!". So I start picturing the light, and sure enough, one appears. And it's even brighter than ever before.

Then it starts coming closer, and I can see that what I'm looking at is actually a scenery behind what appears to be a "hole in space". I let it come closer and closer, and then I noticed I'm looking down a tunnel of sorts, with shady figures on the sides. Then I notice that the shady figures are muscular men with the heads of crocodiles. More egyptian gods, I wonder why...

In any case, they start doing this "pushing" motion in the air towards the door, and the door starts getting further away. Then they laugh while showing me how easy it apparently is for them to do something like that, and I laugh as well as I realize that it's not up to me if I'm going to have an OBE, it's up to them. This experience really opened my eyes, and proved to me that apparently these entities do have a sense of humor.

Possibilities: Now, every once in a while I would go into this weird trance-like state, where my eyes wouldn't stop blinking, and they'd be only half-open most of the time. During these flashes I would see a lot of things that I couldn't before; more entities, for one. I've heard that shamans have used this "half-sight" to see into the "underworld" or something like that. One weird thing about this, though, was that when I would look at John who was sitting pretty much next to me, and then go into this trance, I could also see him in lots of other different places. He would be sitting next to me AND on the computer table, apparently talking to me, AND in the other room behind him, apparently preparing to go somewhere. I think I was shown different possibilities of what he might be doing at that time in a different timeline or dimension.

A message of danger: A more scary aspect of the trip would be these other kinds of flashes. I saw entities all the time and everywhere, but every once in a while (about three or four times during the trip, usually whenever I let myself get a little creeped out by anything) I would have this FLASH when I'd see tens of these things crawling out of everywhere and coming REALLY close to me, pretty much on my skin, in just a second (they were moving fast as frickin' fuck) and I could hear something in my head yelling "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!". I don't know what that was about, but I usually resolved it by "telling the trip" to ease off - or asking it politely if this didn't work.

Murderous intent: Another scary thing that happened was this one. We were sitting on the sofa and John was sitting next to a pillow. All of a sudden I would go into the blinking-state once again and see the pillow being pushed on John's face in an apparent effort to suffocate him. I also felt like I was being told to do this by someone or something. Luckily I have enough sense in my head to not comply to everything I'm being told. :D in any case, this was kind of freaky.

Extra-dimensional sight: One of the most unique things that happened during the trip. I could see "from" another dimension, looking at our 3D-world like it didn't make sense, or like it was comparable to a two-dimensional picture. It's pretty much impossible to describe, and I can't remember it properly, but it gave me some insight on how the dimensions work.

Other than these experiences there was the feeling of "oneness", some anxiety, lots of fun and brilliant times. At first I was pretty nervous "am I going to get through a dose of this and emerge alive - and more importantly, sane?" but the feeling quickly dissipated. Once it came the time to leave, I saw a star, brighter than any of the other ones on the sky, right in front of me - in the direction of my home. As if the star was guiding me.

While I do understand that these kinds of experiences can be scary and potentially harmful if you don't, say, have the common sense of not killing your friend when you're being told to in graphic detail, I think that some people could get a lot of insight on the world and their own lives. "Don't be scared of the trip" seems to be one thing that can keep you together through all of the chaos. Talking to the trip and asking it to ease off or get rough seems to work too - I never suspected. In any case, good company and a safe setting will guarantee a good trip 99% of the time. I hope you enjoyed this report, I prolly left a lot of stuff out, but as I said - my memory's fussy and so on. My grammar isn't perfect either, I hope you don't mind. :) Happy tripping!