towards the end of June, 2010, i went on a camping trip to the Sequoia National Forest. We stayed in a tiny cabin with a tent roof on it for 3 nights while we enjoyed the great outdoors. Our second day, we took a long hike to a giant cave filled with stilagmites where we received a guided tour. When we got back to camp, me and my girlfriend received a bag of dried Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms. It had been 2 months since our last trip. The bag was estimated to be around 10 grams, however there was no scale and no way to be sure how much we were eating. We eyeballed the bag into halves and started crunching down the dry,foamy, twigs and the round, hollow caps, using only water to wash them down. I later decided that the mushrooms made themselves taste disgusting on purpose so that they are eaten only by someone who is serious about doing so. We finished in about 5-10 minutes and began walking uphill on a long, winding road, following the signs for a lookout point. We hadnt seen a cabin, car, or person in over a mile before we decided to stop in a meadow just off side of the road. The sun was setting, and the lookout point was nowhere nearby. We sat on a log peering across the lush, living meadow, listening to the buzzing of the insects and chirping of the birds. We were in their territory. We enjoyed the silence for 20 minutes while we smoked some bowls of blackberry kush. I started feeling very unsettled and sick to my stomach as the tree branches started flickering like the flame of a candle. I could feel waves of energy building and crackling inside of me. I patiently waited for the uncomfortable feelings to go away. it always takes some time to adjust to an altered state of consciousness, the assault on the ego is especially difficult.
Before long it started to get dark, I could see two beings in my peripherals floating around to my right. They were definitely observing me. My girlfriend started getting a little frightened. The trip was hitting her a little faster than me.
When we left the meadow, after seriously worrying whether or not we were headed the right way, we found ourselves in a whole new forest, under a whole new set of stars, being curiously and smoothly propelled along the path. We were excited to make it back to camp and have some fun. As we descended the hill, we gazed up at a brilliant sky glittering and gleeming and teeming with 'life'. there were far more 'airplanes' than there should have been. The lights took on succinct depths and sizes. My girlfriend brought my attention to the alleged "spider star". It was the most prominent light in the sky. it appeared to have thin, sharp edges surrounding it, and to be blaitantly staring us down with a cold, empty glare. It was the eye in the sky. deep chills shot down our spine. a heavy mist seemed to have surrounded us unnoticabley fast. It appeared we were walking through some sort of webbing or netting. We stopped dead in our tracks, not wanting to get caught up in it. After realizing there was nothing on my face, and that the net was in another dimension, we slowly continued, in complete awe, at the intricate, and vast web of rainbow lights connecting every living plant, insect, and animal in the surrounding landscape, including us. We became...literally....apart of nature. The lines were blurred. At the time, i said the webbing was some sort of communication network between the plants. Looking back on it, i know the web represented much more than that. It showed me how deeply connected we, as nature, are with ourselves. And how the plants are much more aware than i previously thought. We laughed and skipped along the path, feeling weightless. Our bodies dissolved and faded away. only when we brought our attention on certain body parts we wanted to check up on did they solemnly appear. I stopped to do push-ups in the road becuase i felt so good, and realized that i need to do my part, and keep the oxygen pumping through my lungs, and my muscles strong to feed the plants and release the energy that builds up in me. Laying face down in the middle of the road, we surrendered to the tugging forces and were plunged into a world of pure beauty to the ineffable degree. We danced through space to the rhythmic, electronic sounding beats that we, silently and collectively, created, heard, and saw. We had become the flying shapes, symbols, and patterns that pulsed and waved to the psychic symphony we were manifesting through our thoughts and actions.
"Everything you ever wanted, everything you ever needed....rrriigghhtt heerrree... rriiiggghhhtt hhheeerrreee " is what we repeated as we melted into a bright sea of bliss. I hugged Gaia and she aknowleged me. I never felt so connected. For the first time in my life i stared into the sky and repeated "I get it now, it all makes sense.Thank you." Throughout the trip we continually shared the same thoughts, conclusions, and ideas at the exact same moment, without the need for words. I knew this because I could see the look in her eyes change at the same moment an idea or feeling would pass over me. We also played catch with our sentences, taking turns annunciating the same logos that were streaming through our heads. It was clear how extensively woven together we had become over the past few months.
From here on out, im not sure what exactly happened. im not sure about the order of events. i was twisted up and turned around backwards. The euphoria started to fade as i plunged deeper and deeper into hyperspace, into the light. At the peak of the experience i was engulfed in this unbearably bright light. I was completely exposed, stripped down to the lowest common denominator. I could no longer perceive this world due to the intensity of the trip. I saw tiny, countless pairs of eyes peering through my every layer. I remember my heart rate being in the thousands of bpm. THe white light died down and felt suspended in space, unmistakably submerged in the buzzing, streaming sound that i had heard before only on DMT.
Before long I was given back my awareness of this body, and for the 3rd time since my DOB, i was reborn into this world just as confused and shaken as a child. Somewhere in the process I had pissed on myself and my girlfriend, seeing as how i had been laying on top of her, mostly limp. I repeated aloud "Its gonna be ok" while i regained my senses and calmed my pulse.
Over the next period of time that turned out to be about 90 minutes, we rolled around the ground, confused and enlightened, bewildered and connected. We both kept asking eachother "what is going on?!" and "are you still there??" We repeatedly tried to stand up and start walking back, but we were obviously meant to stay, because either A) we couldnt keep our balance or sense of direction long enough to take more than 2 steps, B) We would stand up and get completely distracted by a rock or an idea. We roll around for what seemed like centuries, occasionally expressing the random information we received. I revisited alot of memories that had been completely forgotten since they happened. I believe this helped me know myself a little better, because the situations you are put in reflect who you are. At one point a car drove by and we had to pick up the shoes, pipe, and spilled purse from the road so they could pass. We were very frightened due to the vulnerable state we were in. Later, a second car approached and my girlfriend moved out of the road again, while i sat there, hugging my knees, telling myself that it wasnt real and that i could make it dissappear by not believing in it. The car came to a slow halt 10 feet away bathing me in the headlights. I put on my hood and turned my cheeck. If i would have tried harder, i know it would have worked. however I did not have the strength and decided to let the car pass, waving and apologizing to the unseen, and probably curious driver. We lay back down and laugh it off.
At one point, I figured at the state I was in, i could teleport into my own bed, to awake in the morning and completely forget about being AWOL from the military (which i was) and the terrifying experience i was having. Everything would be gravy. For a second i thought i had pulled it off, which i almost did, because i heard the sound of the garbage truck driving by, the neighbor wheeling in their trash bin, and the birds chirping outside. I even had a birds eye view of the house. However It didnt quite work. I was stuck being interrogated by the living forest around me and the living mushrooms inside me
Several times during this period I completely forgot where i was, who i was with, and what planet I was on that contained such a giant, old forest. For a while i had forgotten that i had even taken any mushrooms. You can imagine how confused I was not knowing how i ended up in this 'scattered' form of consciousness, and if it would ever end. I could not stand up or hardly move becuase gravity was no longer operating normally. it felt as if the whole world had been tipped to its side. I felt that i was about to fall off the face of the earth. I wondered if the rest of the human race was in the same position as us. I figured something went terribly wrong. I thought we had fucked up our planet beyond our comprehension, therefore beyond repair. (although i know now that it is never too late) It didn't take long to remember, but it was still frightening. We were surrounded by unearthly noises and lights. The ground was rocking like a boat and i could see myself surrounded by large, menacing instects. beatles, crickets, ants, and catterpillars that were much more noticable than before. They were coming out of the bushes to inspect me. When i closed my eyes, i could see insects floating and crawling around me. I feel I settled some issues/fears i had with insects before. i felt very connected and intimate with them.
At one time i felt as if i had been alive since the big bang, the beginning of time, and that with each life, each evolutionary cycle, i had successively improved. I believed that this life time is a cruel, ironic, yet fascinating joke or game, and that one day we will awake from it to go home where we belong to share and laugh about our struggle here on earth. Talk about the rewards and gains, pains and war. I also felt that this was coming soon, but until then, there's neccessary work to be done here on earth.
The main lesson of my trip was letting go. It taught me to not let negative emotions and stress build up. I was freed from all my worry as the pulse of the universe flowed through me. I was washed of all my 'sins' and greif in the cosmic winds that passed through me. I was exposed to the healing powers of 'god'.
While I was out there, I briefly relived my boot camp experience. I realized how much it had taught me, and how much i enjoyed it on a deeper level. I found myself laying face down on the asphalt being punished, trained, and disciplined once more. Only this time, It wasn't a Training Instructor doing the teaching. It was a very humbling experience, something I think everyone needs to experience.
Once we were able to, we quickly made our way back towards camp, cycling between extreme excitement, paranoia, confusion, and laughter. We could still see the spider star, but we could see well enough to follow the path. I was very alarmed when we first made it back to civilization. We came across an alien-looking set of lights, squares, and shapes oddly floating around eachother. I realized it was just a cabin. We senselessly navigated our way back to the cabin where we desperately failed at telling our family what just happened to us. All I knew was that I had never been so stoked on the life that lay ahead of me, no matter how difficult it will be-It will all be worth it in the end.